Lonely hearts? Fancy any of these charmers?

Question

Real ads from the lonely-hearts column :

Slightly overweight turf-cutter, 42 years old and 23 stone, Gemini,seeks nimble sexpot, preferably Downings area, for tango sessions, candlelit dinners and humid nights of screaming passion.Must have own car and be willing to travel.

Clonmany man, 50, in desperate need of a sexual relations. Anything considered. Even Buncrana women.

Heavy drinker, 35, Letterkenny area, seeks gorgeous s*x addict interested in pints, f**s, Finn Harps club and starting scraps in market square at three in the morning.

Bitter, disillusioned Bundoran man used to be Strabane man, lately rejected by long-time fiancée seeks decent, honest, reliable woman, if such a thing still exists in this cruel county of hatchet-faced b1tches.

Ginger-haired buck teethed Newtoncunningham troublemaker, gets slit-eyed shirty after a few scoops,seeks attractive, wealthy lady for bail purposes,maybe more.

Answer 1

23 stone doing the Tango haha!

Answer 2

What the matter with Buncrana women?

Edit - Kev, what's got into you - is it the green hair? lolololol

Answer 3

Hey,wake up these fellows are looking for women like themselves and there are plenty of those around.To all those ladies built like brick outhouses get your gear on theres a man out there for you.

Answer 4

LOL Kev....

Answer 5

no do you?

Answer 6

The lovely thing is they are so honest!

Edit:

Kev!!! is that really you, or someone else?

Answer 7

don't talk about my precious brothers like that they are after all country folk all they need is a good woman they cannot help being social retards, with no class or proper culture, they help having a brain the size of a pea, with a one track mind(( sorry two track mind beer/s*x))

whoops sorry mum just said it isn't my brothers,pardon my mistake but they do sound charming young men just like my bros

Answer 8

Maybe I can help out with the Tango sessions. Lol.

Answer 9

PMSL.i thought steph was joking when she said changed her life in a day,lol.

Answer 10

You know... Jade Goody would probably jump for these

Answer 11

Misty

As you know, I'm already married (but couldn't RESIST taking a peek at the question!)    However now that I know Ireland's teeming with such eligible men, I may have to give up Hubby and high-tail it over there.

I was especially interested in the ginger-haired bucktoothed gentleman, and am bitterly disappointed that he requests deep pockets, which I sadly do not have.   d**n!

I suppose I could settle for the bitter, disillusioned gentleman.    Now Misty, if you could so graciously arrange this, I'd like for he and I to have a double-date with you and your hubby.    I'm sure you'll do the right thing  ;)

Edit:   Misty, let's just hope to GOD that those gems didn't perish in the earthquake  :((

Answer 12

LMAO!!

Am spoilt for choice!

Ah well at least they are honest lol

Answer 13

Lovely. Where did you find these?

Answer 14

Your not fooling me!

The first one is  Crispy

The second  is  Scotch Mist

And the third is  Shadysback

And the last one Dave S

Answer 15

They all sound very nice i would be spoilt for choice

Answer 16

what's that site called?  www.culchies4udirect.com, or www.bigbadboggers.com?

Answer 17

lmao!!

i think Steph J might be interested in the heavy drinker

Answer 18

OMG!!! I dated all of the above!

Answer 19

I see romance isn't dead where you live.

Answer 20

I actually placed an ad in our weekend paper after separating from my first husband. I got over 200 replies and got to go out on dates with 15 lovely and not so lovely guys. My 15th date was with my (now) husband. Must admit that my ad was more traditional :-)

My dear Mum was horrified and was convinced I would hook up with an axe murderer... until I reminded her that I met my first husband at church and he ended up being a deviate and a thief!

Answer 21

Now we know where Kerry Katona finds her boyfriends

Answer 22

Yesterday I made a huge poo, and it was all orange....

Answer 23

Do you mind I nearly spilt my glass of wine, I'll have 'Heavy drinker, 35, Letterkenny area, seeks gorgeous s*x addict '.   I do have my standards you know and I wont lower them for anyone.

Answer 24

what ones yours then!

Answer 25

only in ireland, this is why we have so many lesbians.