Loners; Have you ever had a friend pity you for your lonerism?

Question

Bleh...Today that happened to me. My friend was a sweetie about it, but I don't think she really saw that it was my choice, and that I don't mind.

What about you guys?

Answer 1

yeah all the time...i like being alone...LEAVE ME ALONE!  jeeze!  some ppl just think we have to always be friendly social happy outgoing freaks who should never be alone...

Answer 2

yes i hate it! i LIKE being alone thats the only time im ever completely comfortable and happy.

Answer 3

Yes, people don't understand that I like to be alone. People judge other people by their on rules, and try to criticize you because they aren't strong enough to do the stuff you do. Some people have to crowd themselves around a million people just to feel secure.

I just like to be by myself most of the time, I can entertain myself, and I can relax and be myself.

Answer 4

Yes, but they 'attempt' to pity me. It happens with almost every person I know. I say attempt because pity is a tool that people use to claim superiority over another person. That is, you don't pity people that are superior to yourself. As my friends are not superior to me in any way, there is no way that they can truly pity me.

People who are actively social attempt to pity loners because they need to believe that being social is superior to being alone. If someone like yourself comes along and says 'I am happy being by myself' you are now a threat to your more social friends. They now have to justify all the time and effort they have put into building a social circle. You make their heads spin. The response to this attack on their well-being is that your friends will attempt to pity you. Pity in this case is essentially a put down; an insult. In the act of pitying you, they are essentially saying: 'You are a liar. It is not possible to be happy without being a social person.' Don't believe that this is innocent. They are trying to make you hate your choices in life; to change your internal value system through veiled psychological manipulation. They want your head to spin. If necessary, you need to defend yourself at their expense.

Answer 5

Yes yes, the hermit mentality is highly misunderstood.  But the odd thing is, us introverts understand the extroverts, yet its not vice versa.  odd indeed :)

Answer 6

i hate it when im deep in contemplation of the universe, or i might just be thinking up a shopping list, and people try to include me in stuff. don't get me wrong i like being included in stuff. but if im obviously off doing my own thing i like to be left alone.