Long distance relationship issue with girlfriend or overreaction? Please help! ?

Question

I'm in a little dilemma here, and I would appreciate any help or insight that I could get! My girlfriend and I have been going out for almost 3 months (3 months would be Aug. 29). It's been an absolutely amazing time; we've really gotten to know each other and our families, spent a lot of time together, and have really emotionally (and physically!) connected. I think it's best if I tell you guys the whole story, as it may provide useful background when formulating your thoughts and answers. She is one year older than me and just started college a week ago, while I'll be starting my senior year in a few days. We met in one of my classes, after which I asked her to my junior prom. We both had a great time and soon after, we decided to go into a serious relationship despite the fact we would have to have to maintain it over a long distance come September. We did talk about where our relationship would go after high school, and we mutually agreed that we would continue our relationship as we both love and care for each other deeply. Over this past summer we saw each other nearly every day and enjoyed absolutely every minute of it! We both expressed how much we would miss each other's presence and intimacy very much. She's going to college about an hour away, but that presents problems because I don't have my license quite yet and my parents would like me to focus on school, thus preventing me from visiting her. However, ever since she's started college, I feel as though something has definitely changed in what has been, in my opinion, a perfect relationship. The thing is, I'm not sure if it's just because I miss her very much and possibly obsessing over it or if something has changed. We've been talking with each other every day over the phone, texting, and even IMing when she gets a chance. I express how much I miss her and love her every day, yet she has never returned the sentiments or said anything to that effect. I understand that she's very busy meeting new and interesting people and that she's already very busy with work and campus activities, but is it too much to ask for a simple "I love you" or "I miss you" when we wrap up our conversations? I do say this every time we talk; would that be too much? I know she loves me and means well, but in the back of my mind, there's a fear that she's either forgotten about me or her feelings have changed. Maybe she feels I'm too immature (although she loved my flirty jokes)? Plus, it's usually me who calls her or initiates the conversations lately. I'm thinking of her constantly and it hurts to know that I won't be seeing her for a while. I hope she thinks about me despite her busy schedule, but I'm not so sure that's the case any more. Granted it's only been a week, and the reality of the situation may not have fully hit her. Ultimately, I would like to know if I should continue what I'm doing, possibly shower her less with "I miss you's" and "I love you's", or bring it up with her in conversation? Am i overreacting or are my concerns valid? I appreciate and value all your thoughts and opinions! Thanks!

Answer 1

just  tell here

Answer 2

You might not want to hear this but you should. College is a time and place for kids to go off and study and find what they want to do, but it's also a time of exploration and experimentation. Your girlfriend obviously did not think this through before she made the decision to continue this "serious relationship" with you. And now perhaps having met a few fresh young guys that provide her with everything you did PLUS proximity, she has doubts about whether staying with you is the best option for her. Honestly, it's far too short to be a serious relationship anyway. You're still young, as is she, go on with your own life and don't be chained down by a long distance relationship as you are right now.

The reason you and her started is because you were able to cause attraction. Attraction is easy, but you may have skipped building comfort/rapport with her and moved on into a relationship (this is her fault too for being socially retarded). Now you're giving her all this I love you I miss you stuff, and you can bet it's smothering her. Dating is a push and pull game. All you're doing is pulling. Imagine someone you DON'T like that kept trying to hang out with you. Would you eventually do it just because it's nice, or would you get annoyed more? Think. I think you get the point.

All a game homie

-D. Rock

Answer 3

First of all!

U gotta let her know how u feel! Tellin her those 2 things remind her ur there and u truely do! U need to talk to her how u feel!  Then from there ull know what u guys shud do! I agree with u I think she shud at least say it!

But much luck sweetie!!!

Answer 4

Your concerns are certainly valid. You and her should have a major sit down conversation and discuss where you see your relationship going. Both of you have to put a lot of effort into that commitment, or else it's just going to fall apart. The both of you have to put equal amounts of effort in as well. A relationship is never one sided. My suggestion to you is, find out what you're future is going to be as soon as possible. The longer you wait, the worse it's gonna get. I don't want to sound mean, but you should prepare yourself for the worse because this situation rarely works, unless both partners are fully committed to each other and the effort they want to put in. For now I'd suggest you leaving it up to her to call you. You've done your part, now she should do hers. I know it's hard bro, but such is life. Good luck in the future.  

Answer 5

Well i think your concerns are valid, anytime you feel something you should listen. Your gut instinct is usually right. While she is just starting a new school, where she doesn't know anyone, can be stressful all in it's self. If it was me i would casually bring it up, the best relationship is an open one if you have any doubts or concerns talk it over. Good luck

Answer 6

i think that you shouldn't stop saying all of those things because she probably really likes that.she is probably just really is busy with school and doesn't have that much time to think about what she should say to you.if its really bothering you maybe you should just talk to her about it.good luck!