Long-term issues with international adoption?

Question

I grew up never (ever) wanting biological children, but from a very young age had a real desire to adopt, specifically from Africa. This is still my dream and we do not plan on having biological children. Our desire to adopt from Africa is not based on a "trend" - like I said, this has been my life plan/dream.

That said, we are going to adopt internationally and are looking at both Lesotho and Kenya. My question is to those who have adopted children internationally. What are the long-term issues with this for the well-being of the child. Although I do a LOT of volunteer work on international development (I'm not trying to "save" a child), I'm afraid they may be angry that I've taken them from their birth country. I'm having issues with this and don't know what to think. How do I approach this in my head? I almost feel guilty and think instead I should be helping them prosper there instead of removing them.

I'm seriously conflicted. Any advice/experiences would be appreciated. Thanks!

Answer 1

From a Personal Experience yes I would be angry with you. I was Born in the UK I have a Massive MASSIVE birth family spreading across UK and Ireland. But I am in Australia

I was adopted and brought to Australia

Have your own baby and Sponsor a child in Africa. or Twenty !

ETA Wow People just dont like the truth on here do they !

Answer 2

Here are some links to adoptees that were taken from their country of birth -

http://birthproject.wordpress.com/

http://borrowednotes.blogspot.com/

http://ethnicallyincorrect.wordpress.com...

http://harlowmonkey.typepad.com/harlows_...

http://heartmindandseoul.typepad.com/web...

http://juliasworld.wordpress.com/

http://notsocalm.wordpress.com/

http://mudeng.wordpress.com/

http://littlewing04.wordpress.com/

http://twicetherice.wordpress.com/

Best you read it from the adoptees that have lived it.

Mostly adoptees above are from Asian countries - as many of the African adoptees have not come of age yet.

Answer 3

I think by you researching all issues with international adoption - you are a good PREparent.  

When I brought my son home from Guatemala to the US, that specific issue hit my heart.  As the plane took off I started crying thinking that I was taking him away from all he had ever known and all that he would have ever known if he had stayed there...  I was wondering how it would be when or if he ever wants to visit...  as an "outsider" so to speak.

But, I am doing my best to help him learn Spanish (myself as well) in case he wants to connect with is birth family or country...  and not have language be a barrier.  I incorporate Latino cultures into our life as well.  He knows he was born in Guatemala.  He knows I think it is a wonderful place because of its beauty, and culture, and ofcourse because he was born there.  :-)

He's only 3.  So, I've got time to keep all lines of communication open with him.  I'll learn more about how he feels when he is older and I'll be there for him...  whatever he needs me for, I'll be there.

  

Best wishes and keep up with your research, Kristy

Answer 4

I have to agree with adopted jane on this one.   You can 'adopt' a child by sponsoring them

I too was taken from my country of origin.  There are lots of blogs by international adoptees on the net, check them out and see how they felt growing up in a foreign country.   Adoption is, after all, about adoptees - not you.

Answer 5

Good for you.  :)

Answer 6

Your quote:

"I almost feel guilty and think instead I should be helping them prosper there instead of removing them."

You need to go with that feeling instead of the 'dream' of adopting a child from Africa.  That will take your from selfish to selfless.  It seems like you want a 'souvenir' from this region--that is an unhealthy reason to adopt a child, from anywhere. Adoption is supposed to be about the needs of the children, not the needs of the adopters.

I think you should refocus your interest in this continent by putting your time, energy, and resources by helping families stay together, instead of trying to own one of its citizens.

You should rent this movie:

http://www.godgrewtiredofus.com/

And maybe sponsor a teen like other people in the movie did.  Go to the bottom of the page, and click on 'take action'.

You also might want to read UNICEF’s policy on inter-country adoption:

http://www.unicef.org/media/media_41918....

Answer 7

to visit some enlightened adoptive parents visit:

http://www.informedadoptions.com

that takes you to Informed Adoption Advocates you'll get more help there about this, than you will here.

Answer 8

I don't know about long term, because we've only been home for about a year and a half.

Like you, I can have children, but chose to adopt. We adopted two older siblings from Ethiopia and we do as much as we can to integrate their native culture into our daily lives.  We've also made friends with Ethiopian immigrants who have really embraced us and our children.  My daughter says (and I know that she's too young to have meaningful perspective on this) that as long as we can take her back to visit her home country, she would rather live here.  She wants the security of a forever family.

We do sponsor children in Ethiopia (and give money to charities that provide HIV meds), but the children age out in their teens.  That was what terrified my daughter. When her father brought her to court and relinquished her, she thought that she'd have to take care of her brother all by herself.  She didn't like the orphanage - she was sent to one five hours from her home, where they spoke a different language. Other kids bullied her and her brother. They took her things from her when she was sleeping.  She didn't want to stay there, and she was terrified of being on the streets.

Being brought to live in another country and culture is very hard. It shouldn't have to happen.  Sponsor children by all means, so that they can stay with their families.  But the orphanages (especially in countries hard hit by AIDS) are filled with older children who have no extended family to live with. Their only choices are the orphanage until they age out, or adoption.