Lonliness is killing me?

Question

to those ofyou who think i am pathetic, i dont care... dont answer the question... i already know i could never be an army wife... i dont plan on it either... i give props to those of you who are because i know how strong you have to be to go through that... my best friend is married to a man who has been deployed twice.. i know how it goes..

anyway, my man has been away for the last week and a half.. he'll be coming home on sunday, so while 4 days doesnt seem so long, it is taking forever... i thought that by the start of week 2, it would be all downhill and fly by... but this is not the case.... each day drags on and on, never ending... i am working, 11 hours a day, but the job is incredibly boring so it doesnt offer any help to passing time... i just miss him and the kids so very much and its killing me... nothing is the same... each day is just another 24hours of misery and i long for night to come so i can go to sleep and forget about him for a while... sunday cant come fast enough.. i have been cleaning and trying very hard to stay busy... but there is only so much i can do... what can i do to make the time go by faster? and, i was also trying to think of a decent, yummy, but light dinner to cook sunday night for them... he usually does the cooking, as i am not the best, but i know he'll be tired and jet lagged after a 9 hour flight.. any advice would be appreciated

Answer 1

Boo Hoo Hoo........every single day you ask this.....geez, I would be in Seventh Heaven getting all kinds of stuff done around the house.....

I will THANK GOD for Sunday because then we won't have to hear about this anymore......

Answer 2

You are off to the right start.  Working and cleaning and planning will help.

Try thinking of something that you can do to make his homecoming a special one.  Planning something really special for him will take up some time.  Especially if it's something that takes preparation, materials, DOING...

Write him a letter.  Even a steamy one, detailing what you'd like to do when he gets home.  Or one that tells him simply how much you missed him.

Do something for YOU.  If you're stressed, tired or anything but just missing him, it will not be as good of a homecoming for any of you.  Give yourself a facial and a nice hot bath...paint your toes and nails, try a new hairstyle, new makeup.

Don't count the minutes.  It will come, counting doesn't make it come any faster.

For dinner...a great salad!  With all the extras...cheese, ham, turkey, carrots, cuccumber...etc.  The sky is the limit on wonderful salads!  And cutting up all that stuff will be a great time-waister for that last few hour wait.

Answer 3

Wish I had someone that cared for me like that. But you'll be fine.Congratulations to your boyfriend for having someone like you.

Answer 4

It is tough to be away from the ones you love, especially when so much of your daily life revolves around them. I'm glad that you miss your husband - your relationship is strong and your love is very deep. It is not pathetic at all - thank you for being vulnerable in front of us.

One of the toughest things I found in marriage - after living on my own for four years - was finding time for myself. It's something my wife doesn't do very well - she'll say she needs some time to herself but five minutes later she's doing dishes or calling someone or coming back to talk with me, and at the end of the night she tells me she never has time to herself.

If you can, I'd take this time and use it as time for you. You don't get a break from the kids very often - and there's no shame in needing that break. Start a journal and write out your thoughts - about missing the hubby and the kids, and also about where you are in your life, what you want to accomplish, what makes you happy and what makes you sad, what you'd like for your family and what you'd like for your friends, etc. Sit in the bathtub with a good book and listen to some favorite music. Catch up on movies you've wanted to see but can't because you have "Barney and Friends" romping around.

Lastly, consider getting a different job. The job isn't the most important part of our lives, but it often takes the most time. If yours is draining you emotionally and physically, it's not rewarding. You have a few days to do some soul-searching - take advantage of them.

Answer 5

As a military fiancee, I have had to deal with lots of time alone.  While yes, it does suck climbing into an empty bed at night and going home to an empty house after work....it is also sometimes nice.  Don't look at it as everything is negative without him.  You now get all the blankets and the bed, without having to worry about him.  You now get to watch whatever you want, whether it be Lifetime movie or what, without him wanting to change the channel.  

I am completely with Sophia on this.   You need to be able to make yourself happy.  While yes, you should be missing him, you shouldn't feel miserable 24/7.  There may be moments where it gets to you, but it shouldn't be constant.  You should be able to make yourself happy.  If you can't do that, you can't expect anyone else to be able to.  Don't revolve your whole world around him.  Get other interests.  Get other friends.  It is healthy to have those things, for both you and your relationship.  You need to create a balance with your life.  While my fiancee is gone, I usually don't start getting the "miserable" feeling once in a while until the 2nd or 3rd month. And even then-it is usually only a short lived one night thing.  (this last time it always seemed to hit when I was watching "army wives".....I finally had to ban myself from watching it until he got home)  Otherwise, I kept myself busy.  I started new projects, planned a wonderful homecoming, and had more "girl's nights" than I can count.  It is important to have a support system in place for these times.    

Answer 6

Seriously get a grip!!

Cause I am sure he is not acting like that!

Answer 7

I wasn't an army wife but an army girlfiend and my BF is currently on his 3rd deployment.  Its extremely hard but i don't struggle day to day with it.  I think that you have to be more independent because it seems like you relying on your BF for happiness but it has to start from within you.  You have to have a life outside the relationship and welcome the time apart to discover more about yourself.  You can't be so clingy cause men hate that.  You should maybe exercise, catch up with old friends, read a book, some activity to keep your mind and self occupied.  We all miss love ones when they go away but to be miserable is not good.  Just get out and enjoy your two weeks alone!!!

Answer 8

The best advice I can give you is to really open your eyes realise how lucky you are and thank the world for all the positivity youu have been given. You should realise that not everyone has what you have and some only wish to be loved in their lifetime. Some only wish that when their husbands are around, that they get some kind of attention or love. You are not lonely, you're needy and alone at the moment. Go out with friends and try to enjoy the fact that you have the place to yourself. Get crazy and let your hair out have fun because nothing lasts forever. BTW, so jealous of you.