Look at these poems please?

Question

a haiku...

A storm cloud out there

Where will I go to escape

Or shall I stand tall

What do you think?or maybe this

a quatrain...

There once was a snake

Who liked to bake cake

His parents didn't approve

But he loved to make fondue

I'm up for titles to them too.

Answer 1

I like the first one the best. It really has a powerful meaning other than the weather. I see where someone can see a "storm cloud" as being a tough decision that you can avoid or confronting someone...and having to choose to deal with the situation. Maybe being torn to do the right thing....it leave a lot of room to ponder what type of storm is going on or even just a thunder storm...it is way cool.

I kind of like the second it reminds me of a limerick. They can be cool too. I once wrote something similar.

There once was a fish in a dish

he had but only one wish

That one fine day

come what may

He'd find something better to do.

I called mine The Fish.

I was just trying to be whimsical and witty. The poem wasn't as important as my mood when I wrote it. Sometimes a little witty poem is cool for the sake of being fun.

Answer 2

"Hi!"

A haiku is made up of 3 lines. of 5'7'5 totalling 17 syllables all together. It also must contain a season. I.e. Winter, Summer, Autumn and spring within it.

your first one is a good attempt as it has  the 5'7'5 (17) syllable structure of the english haiku. although your second one is way out there and no where near a Haiku. I have had many failed attemps at Haiku,

Here is a link that will help you in creating Haiku.

http://www.shadowpoetry.com/resources/ha...

Good Luck

Cheers : )

Answer 3

read more

Answer 4

Yo go, girl! This stuff is good.

I like the haiku, but they shouldn't have titles. The idea of haiku is to make a strong and sudden impact, and so the syllable count of 5,7,5 is all that is needed.

As far as the snake, why not include it in a collection called "Zoological Cooking" or something like that. I'll start you off:

A big ol' alligator

ate a baked potato.

He didn't have no butter

so he didn't eat another.

There was a spotted leopard

who liked his burgers peppered.

They said "have it your way,"

so he didn't move to Norway.

The snake who made fondue

Used three mice, two bugs, one shrew.

"Make it again I won't

fondue should be fondon't."

Have fun.

Answer 5

the last line of the last one doesnt rlly ryme

but the first one i think is gr8 but i think that it would be a bit better if u used onamatapeia

hope i helped

-Anna

Answer 6

pretty good- i liked the second one, it was really funny. i think the haiku needs some work, though

Answer 7

How about "Weather Watching" for the haiku and "Reptile Bakery" for the Quatrain! Awesome!