Look but don't touch?

Question

My son and his partner live in my home, i get on with my sons partner and spoil her and made her feel at home since the day i met her. They had a baby and he is 2 months old. I gave them lots of space to bond with the baby and even in the evenings stay in the next living room so they can be together. My hurt is that from the first day they were home the baby (my grandson) was kind of off limits to me and my daughter. I yern to hold him !! but I never have picked him up without asking permission first and my son made it clear to me i have to ask.

I get a hold maybe every other day for 10 mins one time i was lucky i got to hold him for 20 mins.

Is this the norm ?

They are moving out in 2 months, I cook I clean and they don't have to spend a cent towards the bills. I feel like I'm walking on egg shell cause i don't want to do the wrong thing but feel very hurt. I thought it would be a natural thing to pick up your grandchild for a cuddle.

Answer 1

By sheer merit of the fact that you are his grandmother and that they are living in your house, you are paying the bills and pretty much everything else, you have a RIGHT to hold your grandson.

You put the bread on the table every evening. You have to exert your authority over things in the house. You should be the rule maker.

We live in a culture, where it is all right for children to tell their parents what to do, even if they're living in their house. It's like biting the hand that feeds you!

Please talk to your son and his partner. Make sure that they know that you want to spend time with your grandson. You should not have to ask permission to hold the child that you made made possible to come into the world, into a warm and loving home.

If they don't agree to compromise, then when they move out, if and when they get jobs, ask them not to expect you to baby sit your grandson (because that is what will invariably end up happening)

Please exert your authority. Grandparents are important in a grandchild's life. I have attached a power point presentation that outlines a study conducted by a Family and human Development Specialist, Sandra J. Bailey, that highlights the importance of grandparents in a child's life.

Parents have to stop being victims to their own children's callousness.

Answer 2

will if it is like that when you should feel hurt because you should not be geting permission to hold the baby because it is your grandson......

Answer 3

Ok,i think thats real mean making you ask.when my first son was born i was single and lived with my mum.the first few months i wouldnt let anybody help with him,i wouldnt let ppl hold him or anything.your daughter in law probably doesnt want you to feel she cant cope therefore doing everything her self,also her hormones are all over the place. I would personally sit down and talk to them about this problem.it seems real mean to me,but maybe in time she will loosen up a bit.x