Question:

Looking for a woman who had a baby with George "Bud/Buddy" Chitwood in 1975?

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I am looking for my mother, who left when I was a baby. I don't know much at all about her. There was some big scandal surrounding my birth (don't really know what it was) and no one would ever talk about it. I was told that her name is Lora, but don't know for sure if that's the truth. I guess she would be in her 60's now. Supposedly she met Bud in the Carolinas and I was born somewhere in that area.

I understand that she may not want me in her life, or want any sort of relationship with me. After all this time with no contact, that isn't hard to figure out. I'm not looking to confront her, I'm not looking for money, I'm not looking to "out" her for having me out of wedlock or whatever the reason is for all the secrecy. Whatever the scandal was, it doesn't matter to me. I've thought about it many, many times and considered all sorts of wild scenarios, so whatever it was won't shock me or ruin my life. I understand that my mother probably went on to have a family and they may not know anything about me. I'm not looking to go knocking on doors and introducing myself.

I don't know what else I can say to convince her to come out of hiding, or to convince someone else who might know something to come forward. Just that I desperately need some record of my birth. No certificate was ever filed and it's getting increasingly hard to live without one. I won't be able to renew my driver's license when it expires. I can't get a passport. I won't be able to have a state-issued photo ID at all. Can you imagine what that will do to my life in this day and age? Until now, I'd been able to get by with old school records and letters from the state saying no birth record was filed, but since 9/11, all that's changed.

Aside from the practical concerns with the records, it would really be nice to know I didn't just fall out of the sky or a test tube. Not knowing anything about who you really are and where you came from eats at you constantly. I look at strangers in the street and think, for all I know, that could be my mother. I meet people who look similar to me and think, that could be my half-sibling. It's a constant source of questions and it would be nice to have at least one answer. Especially since I don't even know for sure that the man who raised me is my biological father. For all I know, I just got left with him.

I'm hoping my mother mentioned him to *someone* and they'll remember, even if she never sees this herself. I've never met anyone else in a similar situation and I don't know what else to do. I've tried every sort of search, sent for every sort of record, begged and pleaded with the family I do know to tell me the truth. Nothing has worked. I'm at the end of my rope and I desperately need some answers.

If anyone out there knows anything, please help.

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2 ANSWERS


  1. Sorry to hear about this. Good luck.


  2. my heart goes out for you.

    One.. dna testing will confirm if Dad is dad.  If he is living, it is one answer you can get.  I would go carefully here.  One topic I have researched are children who are taken in custody disputes. In those situations, the extreme is that parents 'hide' kids, change names and stay underground. You may want to contact  www.missingkids.org that deals with that, and see if they cannot match you to their files.  I don't want that to be your answer, but it is one place to work with.

    Second- consider children who are literally left on doorsteps or found abandoned. They don't come with birth certificates, but some document has to be issued for them. You might investigate how that is handled.

    As for "scandal", that suggests to me that someone DOES know more than they are willing to say.  Which (sadly) leads back to the first possible scenario of family abduction. How to break that wall down, I am not sure. It is possible that the record exists in another state/county, but without a name, it is impossible to zero in on.

    A lot depends on who is available at this time.. and what they are willing to tell you.  If honesty involves facing possible criminal charges, that could be why they will not give you the truth.  

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