Looking for birth mothers to consider myself & husband as adoptive parents?

Question

hi my husband & i have been trying to start a family for 10 year with out any luck so were now looking at trying to find a birth mother looking for adoptive parents.can any 1 give us any information on were to start are search for birth mothers looking for adoptive parents for their babys in the uk thanx for any help

Answer 1

Go to:

www.adoptionattorneys.org

Select your sate and choose an attorney.  This is not the most inexpensive method, but it is probably the easiest and most successful.  These attorneys are experienced with adoption and have networks that you couldn't dream of tapping into on your own.

Depending upon how selective you are about age, race, and costs, you could probably have a child placed within a year of the start of the process.  No guarantees, but it happened with us, and has happened to several others that we are aware of.

Answer 2

I hope you really research adoption before you look for a baby, we adoptees are not fertility treatments, and come with our own adoption issues.

It is not so simple, you can't just grab a baby, and really shouldn't put a baby in the position of healing you when you haven't dealt with your infertility.

Answer 3

I dont understand how people can be so rude as to say adoption is not an answer to infertility.  That is hurtful.  Many children (babies and older!) are given a wonderful life with families who love them, through adoption.  Check out the adoption agencies in your area.  God Bless.

Answer 4

Good luck!! There are so many children in foster care who are at risk of never having a permanent family, and kudos to you for giving them the opportunity to have one! I hope will look to adopt a child that does not have a mother available because these are the children most at risk of growing up without a home.

Plus this kind of adoption is much less expensive. And you don't have to adopt an older child, there are infants who are available for adoption through the county/CPS etc.

I hope you give a home to a child that really needs one.

Peace!

Answer 5

Are there private agencies in the UK?  Sorry to answer your question with a question but I don't know much about the UK.

From what I have read recently, the social service agencies in the UK have adoption "targets" and are paid to increase adoptions so they are taking children away from their birth parents at increasing rates.  So, I think that your best chances might be to talk to your local social services department to see how they are doing on meeting their targets.  If they know that you are looking to adopt and have not met their target, they might be able to find a birth mother for you.

Also, I know that there are a lot of scammers in the US who pretend to be looking for an adoptive family but are really only looking to get money out of you or to hurt you emotionally.  If that is true in the UK as well, you should be very careful about working with anyone without an agency, social services, or a lawyer.

Edited to add:  When I said that "I don't know much about the UK", I meant that I don't know much about adoption in the UK.  I have been to the UK before and love it.  My husband and I thought for a while that we would be transferred there by our company - were very disappointed that it did not work out!

Answer 6

Go to an ethical agency.

Answer 7

Are you really sure you want to do this?  Adoption is NOT a solution to infertility, and is a very complicated process that never really ends.

You need to do major research to make sure this is what you want.  Taking care of other people's children is not the same as raising your own.

Please read some adoption books like The Primal Wound and The Adoption Triangle.

It's no where near over when you find a child to adopt--it's only the beginning.

Answer 8

Use a reputable agency.  They will screen potential matches for you. Often families who try to find a baby in their own (especially on the internet) fall prey to scammers.  

Also, you will be more successful addressing them as 'expectant parents.'  Calling someone a 'birth mother' before they have placed a child for adoption can be insulting.

Answer 9

The first thing you need to do is pay absolutely no attention to on line strangers who are questioning your motives and desires to be a parent through adoption.  Some just don't like adoption period, and there is nothing you can say to make them feel otherwise nor should you even care.  They don't speak for the majority of those touched by adoption, but they will continue to spread their message in every adoption related question here to give the impression that their opinions and reach are vast.  They are not.  

Next, you will be parenting a child who was born to another mother, but through adoption the child will become yours to raise and love for a lifetime.  In the best case scenarios this happens at the true desire of the mother.  Don't fall for the digs about "aparents not being able to love another woman's child as much. . . " or for the "your child will automatically resent you" stuff.  Again, not true.

I'd start researching and requesting information from adoption agencies and attorneys that are in your area and then go from there.

Answer 10

Adoption does NOT cure infertility.

Answer 11

Are you looking for an expectant mother?  Since one who has not given birth is an expectant mother and she does not become a birth mother until she decides to change the course of her life and the life of her child forever.

I suggest you do some research.

Answer 12

Probably the best way would be to go through a reputable agency. Here are a few that I've heard good things about

http://www.bethany.org/A55798/bethanyWWW...

http://www.adoptionhelp.org/

Another option is t try to locate a potential birthmother on your own and then work with an adoption attourney.

A good way to do this would be to use a site like "parent profiles" where women already wanting to make an adoption plan can view the profiles of families hoping to adopt.

http://www.parentprofiles.com/

Realize that there are many fees involved with both types of adoption, and in some cases an independent (non-agency) adoption can be as expensive and occasionally more then an adoption using an agency. Also, you'll need to do more work on your own, and will hopefully make sure she has access to counceling that would usually be provided by an agency.

Good luck to you.