Looking for more opinions on family situation?

Question

My husband and i have been together for a couple years and married a little over a year and we hardly ever get a lot of free time due to his schedule. Well his sister is now complaining that she never gets to see or talk to him. My husband doesn't really know her work schedule cause it varies and she never calls or wants to do anything with him until they haven't spoken for awhile but no time in between does she ever call or anything and she blames him for not keeping in touch and me for him not really seeing her much which isn't the truth at all. Now she wants to just have a day with him by herself and have me stay home. We live in a little town about 25 minutes from where she is so if we want to do anything we have to go there well we never really go do anything much so when we do have to go that way we sometimes try to go to a movie or dinner or something. And we have to drive there cause she can't drive. Also he's 24 and she's 26. Do you think it's a little disrespectful for her to be asking me to just stay home? And does anyone actually spend alot of time with their family after you get married cause people in my family are not like this at all. It's like they still think he's single and i find it very rude. Part of it is that for the past 2 months we have went out once. He likes to play FFXI all the time and would rather stay home instead of going out so he won't make time for us to go some place, but will with her. And it's just not right how she has to assume that it's me they seriously think i'm not "allowing" him to do stuff which in reality he's on his game. Cause we have the same situation with his dad cause he doesn't really talk to him, but what he doesn't know is that my husband is caught up with his game and decides to ignore his phone call when he calls him.

Answer 1

I had a similar situation with my hubby and his brother in law.  OK, bottom line...when you get married, your spouse comes FIRST.  And if sister wants to see brother for the day (how a brother and sister in their mid 20's could want to spend an entire day with each other is a total mystery to me)...you should be included, as you are a married couple now.  What seems reasonable to me is that the 2 of you head into town, meet up with her for a leisurely lunch for the 3 of you, and then the 3 of you can do something fun together...although I doubt she is much fun...or you and hubby spend the afternoon together doing something you both want to do.  But I really don't see a sister taking up her brother's entire day like that.  They sound like they resent you a little bit for the 2 of you getting married and he now he has moved on with his life and that seems hard for his family to adjust to.  I guess they must have thought that he would stay a little boy forever with them!! LOL.  I hope it works out for you.

Answer 2

Yes she IS being rude, and you can tell her she is able to call just as well as he is to feel free to call him anytime.

Next tell her it is time to grow up and get a driver's license.

Tel your MIL your going to name your first kid after her,just for spite of course.

Answer 3

" he won't make time for us to go some place, but will with her."

Well the issue here depends on you.  He's responding to your sister's requests.  It sounds like they aren't frequent requests.  Do YOU ask him to make time for the two of you and if you do are you constantly nagging about it?  

If you do ask and not in a nagging way, then there's a problem that you guys need to talk about.

If you aren't asking well... don't expect him to take it on himself... because he's shown that's not his personality.