Looking for some common ground..?

Question

The group of adoption rights activists led by adoptees (the ones in favor of open records, improvements in ethics, education, and reform within the adoption industry)

&

The group of anti-activists led by the NCFA, attorneys, & some adoptive parents (the ones in favor of secrecy & who want adoption to stay the way it is)

The differences are obvious, yet do these groups have any common ground? Philosophically, what do they have in common with each other, if anything?

Thank you for your thoughts and opinions.

Answer 1

"I want my birth certificate."  "You can't have it."  Deadlock.

Sealed records are archaic and pointless.  When one side wants to continue to deprive the other side of a basic right, no quarter can be given.  We are right.  They are wrong.  That's all there is.  Anyone who wants to argue for common ground _based on the phrasing of this question_ is announcing that they are willing to sacrifice ethics, education, and reform to placate the other side.  Or they're saying they ARE the other side and that adoption require no ethics, education, or reform.  Either position is insane at worst, ignorant at best.

I can generally come to consensus with anyone about anything, but for the NCFA I'll make an exception.

@Mommy To Be--first mothers have no special legal right to "protection."  They have the same rights not to be harrassed, stalked, etc., as the rest of us.  The vast majority of them have said they are not interested in either privacy or protection when it comes to their own offspring.

Answer 2

Aren't both groups focused on the family?  They seem to be trying to help create closer families.

The open records group is focused on family honesty, believing the truth will help the adoptee and the parents grow into emotional complete persons, and, in turn, make families richer and more resilient.

The sealed records group is looking to ensure someone outside the immediate family cannot tear away at the bond between adoptive mother and child.  They believe this will make for more robust families.

There is some truth in both. The sealed records group is focused on caution (what could go wrong) and the open records on hope (what might evolve).  Somehow, I wish, we could all be hopefully cautious.  Great question.  It really made me think.

Answer 3

The common ground is that the NCFA does and actively does all that it can to promote foster care adoption.  I agree with their stance on that.  

Let me correct some on the NCFA.

The NCFA is doing everything that they can to profit off adoption.  They are doing everything they can to continue to do so.  They are doing everything they can to hide their practices in order to continue doing so.  The adoption industry is a 6.7 BILLION DOLLAR business worldwide. That is big money.  

Sealed adoption records hurt all living adoption.  They hide the coercion, lies and money.  The adoptive parents are being scammed of their money.  The natural parents are being scammed of their children.  The adoptees are being scammed of their heritage and civil rights.

Answer 4

their love and caring for abandoned children

Answer 5

I don't see much of a place for us to find common ground. I am neither an adoptee nor an adoptive parent. What I am is a mother who lost her child, and let me tell you no one ever promised me privacy! Quite the opposite in fact, I was promised something much different from what I got. I say, I don't want anyone speaking for me or my privacy but me, and that means all records should be open. Period end of story, our children deserve their OBC's and heritage. Because lets be honest folks, an adoptive parents heritage is not the adoptive childs heritage. My daughters aparents can't even go back three generations in their roots. I have mine back to 1340!

I refuse to let others speak for me anymore, and please do not call me names simply because you don't understand the whole privacy thing is a dead issue for most mothers! We want our children to know where we are! Oh wait, that's what you are afraid isn't it Noodles?

Oh and one more thing, abortion and adoption are not even in the same ballpark. Two very separate issues that should not be tied together the way some seem to think they are. They do not equate- Women who choose abortion will not choose to parent in most cases, and women who won't abort won't.

Answer 6

They both think they are doing the right thing.  Obviously, both can't be right, at least not completely.  But, they are actively and passionately working on something they believe in, even if you don't.

Answer 7

Unfortunately, they have no common ground.  The NCFA is a wealthy lobbyist group funded mostly by adoption agencies who do not want their unethical business practices exposed.

Open records, to them, means that adoptees will reunite with their lost children and expose these agencies' unethical practices.  This is happening today, and these agencies are LIVID about it.  True stories and exposed lies and misdeeds interfere with their profits.  Adoption in North America is BIG business.  In 2001, it was determined that the industry represented $1.4 BILLION in business, and was expected to grow at a rate of 11.5% per year to 2004.  It is now 2007.  Do the math.  BIG money.

Adoption agencies that ARE ethical are so few and far between, and I highly doubt than any of them would associate themselves with the NCFA.  But it is exactly these ethical agencies who DO share common ground with adoptee rights activists.  This minority genuinely has the best interests of the children at heart - vs. the money that can be made.

Answer 8

The only similarity is that they both believe that adoption has ethical issues that need addressing.  The anti-activists believe that abortion is better and adoption should be abolished.  Where on the other hand adoption rights activists believe that adoption needs reform.

Answer 9

Why do you anti-adoption fanatics bother to ask questions in here and then give a thumbs down to anyone who has a different opinion & then make one of your clique's the best answer? You don't want the truth and you don't want anyone else's answer, if it is the opposite of yours. My answer is that you are not looking for common ground (especially the way you guys terrorize, harass and stalk us) & there is nothing philosophical nor ethical when it involves your gang. It's just another one of your sick, cruel games you guys love to play.

Answer 10

GOOD question.  Personally, I am unable to think of any common ground.

The interests of each party are so disparate that it's almost a given that there will be little, if any, common ground.

Answer 11

My guess would be that they may think they have the best interests of the adoptees in mind or that they are each trying to protect one party or another. The NCFA for instance would obviously want to protect the birth mom, the the activist group would want to protect the rights of the adoptee to at least find their birth mom and have a piece of mind.