Looking into adoption...?

Question

I have no idea where to start. My husband and I have been together for five years now. We have a 2 year old and a 1 year old. Both very healthy boys. I have always wanted a girl. My pregnancies did a number on me. Including weight gain, and extreme morning sickness all nine months. My doctors recommend me not to have another baby.

My husband and I are considering adoption. (My husband was adopted when he was 7) I know you need to have a home study and things like that before your even considered for being an adopting parent. Where do I start? Who can I trust? I live in Lucas County Ohio. Someone told me to advertise myself looking for a pregnant mother...through craigslist. I would do everything legally but is this really the right thing to do?

Please if anyone can help me I would be very thankful.

Answer 1

You have lots of choices. Lots of options.

Start here...

http://www.adoptive-parenting.com

I was adopted.

I have adopted three children...

and I understand all the questions you might have... I went through them same process you are going through. There are not only a lot of answers to questions to have...even more to those things you haven't even thought about. There are also links to blogs from families who are adopting or have successfully completed their adoption. Having support is critical as you "wait" for your child.

Answer 2

you can try reading this adoption 101 http://adoptionsfromthehear.rtrk.com/?sc...

you'll need to do some home works on your own, it's not going to be easy like counting 1, 2, 3...

Answer 3

You should contact an attorney that handles adoptions.  They probably represent adoption agencies, but do yourself and the world a favor...try to adopt and older child.  Your husband knows what it feels like to keep getting older and watching the younger ones go before you.

If you do adopt and older child, make sure she has a lot of love and attention, because she hasn't had it before.  Make sure you're open to her, so that she'll be open with you.  Have counseling available if it's needed.  Remember that a lot of the older children have gone through more in their short lifetime than most adults their entire lifetime.

Answer 4

I think this is a great idea !!!!!!!!!

Answer 5

Adoption is a great choice, for the right reasons. If you would like to help a child, though not yours, and take them in to raise as your own that is wonderful! But you should know there are other options to consider.

If you want to know the child through his/her birth mother's pregnancy, then looking to adopt from a pregnant mother is a good choice. However, If you and your husband would wish another biological child might I suggest a gestational carrier? A gestational carrier would carry your child in vetro Yes, the child would be of your egg and your husband's sperm so he/she would be genetically yours. The child would then be given to you after birth. I suggest you do some research into gestational carriers before you make the descision whether to adopt or use a surrogate.

To go ahead and give you some information on surrogacy/gestational carriers: In vitro costs anywhere between $4,900-$9,000. You would be expected to pay all medical bills, and most surrogate mothers ask between $10,000 and $25,000 for their own benefit. This is given in monthly payments for the process usually and is to help with food, gas, and rent.

A contract is drawn up in most surrogacy pregnancies but depending on what state you live in it may be void. Meaning if the surrogate mother decides to keep the baby she can. Some states even ban surrogacy.

Counciling should be gone through by both surrogate mother and prospective parents BEFORE the child is concieved for the benefit of all. Sometimes a home-study is required.

Physical exams should bedone before the surrogate mother is accepted to be sure she is healthy enough to carry the child.

I hope this helps.

Answer 6

Leslie, please do not try to arrange an adoption privately, particularly using CL. That would be a very very bad idea. You would expose yourself to all manner of fraud.

Here is a great matrix for you to use to help figure out the best way for you to adopt:

http://www.theadoptionguide.com/tools/pl...

You need to sit down and think about your needs and qualifications and then find a program that works for you. Once you've found an agency of foster-adopt program that works well for you, an experience professional will let you know which forms and documents need to be completed and they will take care of your homestudy. You have a lot of planning to do before you worry about that aspect.  

Answer 7

theres a way to have s*x that u will get a girl look up      controlling s*x of babe  and it should tell u allot about sperm and u might find a perfect way how to have a GIRL YAY

Answer 8

that's a hard choice.  adopting babies from pregnancy is rough because you usually pay for the mother's medical care, and there's no guarantee that she'll give up the child.  she may change her mind and then you'll be heart broken.

older children may have some abandonment issues as well, so there's that.  but usually with older children (2, etc) you'll know what they look like, their personality, etc.

*edit.

anyway, look into your state's department of family services.  some states are better about adoption than others.  some cost a ton, while other state try to keep the costs to a minimum, they're more concerned about getting kids into homes.

even if you did look for a pregnant mother through craigslist, there's certain things you have to do such as make sure the biological father has signed away his rights (and is okay with the adoption), see if you want open adoption where the bio mother retains rights, check with grandparents (sometimes they sue for custody, etc).

you're better off going through a state agency

you can also try fostering first.  quickest and cheapest route to adoption

Answer 9

hmmmmm, um that depends, do you want to adopt babys, toddlers, little kids, tweens,, teens? look a kids in foster care. my friend Shawn is in the process of getting adopted, and he was in foster care for a while, also a girl named Mersaidies is getting adopted out of foster care. I live in adams county OH, well good luck!

Answer 10

you might want to start with the department of social services.