Looking to adopt???

Question

We are happily married couple that is unable to have children. We would love to adopt a child or a group of children. We both have great jobs and a new house. Everything seemed to be going good until we discovered that we were not able to have children of our own. We have looked into different adoption agents and found that the cost is crazy. We are starting to feel overwhelmed by all of this . Does anyone have any suggestions?

Answer 1

It's my personal opinion that if you can't afford to go through a reputable agency, then you should look into the foster care system.

As a potential adoptee, your first concern should be the child and the birth mother. Not money. My son's birthmom is a wonderful woman. She deserves the best care possible. My adoption agency provided her with housing, transportation, counseling before and AFTER the adoption. They also took her to church every Sunday (not a must obviously, but shows they care for her). They were also an advocate for her before and after the birth.

Trust me, even the nicest of people can become very selfish and possesive when your potential child is born. This happened to me when my birth mom chose to have lots of alone time with my son after he was born. The adoption agency can help you to see past your own selfishness and see the sacrifice of the birth mom.

It's my opinion that it is impossible for an adoptive couple and an attorney to meet all the needs of a birthmom in a private adoption. My son's birth mom and all the other birth mom's deserve better.

It has to be a reputable agency like mine though. I've seen horror stories on this website about bad agencies and they way they treat the birth moms.

Please seek out a reputable agency that puts the birth mom first, or go through the foster care system. You also get a $10000 tax credit from the government when you adopt. That helps to take away some of the financial burden.

Answer 2

please go through an agency or foster care.  private adoptions are risky and sometimes illegal. i understand the costs, but asking on the internet can set you up for more drama than you ever expected.

good luck

Answer 3

You should definitely consider looking at your local Department of Social Services.  Every state has a different name: Department of Human Services, Department of Children & Family Services, etc.  I work as a Post-Adoption Social Worker in Virginia.  The home study process here is absolutely free if you go through DSS (Dept. of Social Services).  Further, adoption children from your local foster care system is also free- and the agencies will likely pay you a monthly subsidy once the adoption is complete.  This includes things such as clothing, daycare, and therapy.  All of these are great reasons to adopt from foster care!  Of course there are cons: most of the children in foster care have special needs, and are usually a bit older.  If you and your husband are willing to accept these "challenges", you can find a great way to add to your family.  Best of luck!  (My husband and I are in the middle of fertility treatments, so I can understand this being a difficult process.  But please, at least call your local DSS for more info. )  Hope this helps!

Answer 4

Adopt from foster care

Answer 5

My husband and I are in the exact same situation.  We can not afford private or international adoption.  We are going through our local children services.  It's a slow process, but must less costly and a child that really needs it gets a home.

Answer 6

First, I recommend that you plan to take at least a year off of work.  Adopted or fostered children - whether older or infant - come with emotional baggage and need to have their sense of security and trust painstakingly rebuilt.  So.... start saving and planning immediately.

Next, start reading and learning about the issues that adoptive and foster children face - emotionally, psychologically, and practically.  Read books by Alice Miller and B. J. Lifton.  Also, if you're up to it, read "A General Theory of Love" by Lewis, Amini, & Lannon.

Then, if you still want to rise to the challenge, contact your local social services department and tell them you are considering foster-to-adopt.

Answer 7

Try foster care.  It sounds like you have a lot to offer and if you can't afford adoption through an agency, go through the state and help children that need it the most.  You don't have to pay anything, in fact, the state gives you an allowance to help care for the child.  Then, if the child becomes free for adoption, you would be the first in line (after family, of course).

Answer 8

I would suggest maybe a private adoption.

Try this site.....