Looney Tunes...and others who "aged out" of Foster Care.?

Question

Hi, this is for anyone who has aged out of foster care.

I was just wondering if you could/would tell me:

What did they issue you upon 'leaving' foster care? Were you given your medical records, your original birth certificate or an altered one, your background? Anything about your family?

Have any people who aged out of foster care kept in close contact with their foster family/s? Have you found your biological family members?

Please feel free to answer one, some, or all of the above. Not meaning to pry, just wanting to know, in general, what happens upon aging out and what you are given and where you go when you are too old for foster care. Thanks!

Answer 1

Wow!  I live in Alberta, Canada and I think things are quite different here.  When my kids were turning 18 they didn't have to move out.  As long as they were working or attending school they could stay until they were 21.  Of course none of them did, because they were ready to take on the world!  LOL  However, before they moved out, we did a lot of planning, budgeting, cooking lessons, buying household items, finding an apartment or basement suite, furniture etc.  But they all know that they are my kids and they are welcome to come home at 53.  They still are in contact, well two of them, the other two have gotten into some trouble since moving out, but they still know they are family and always will be.  They just aren't in a good place right now.

My two boys are their little brothers so they still come home to see us, and for holidays, and to request their favorite supper, or to do their laundry........

Looney Tunes, I just want to applaud you for your strength and courage.  With determination like yours, you will be a success.

Answer 2

Stories like Looney Tunes' are sad, but certainly angering, as well.  This is what society offers our children who have no legal families.  It's pretty pathetic, but par for the course for those who age out.   Looney, you're a strong woman, indeed.

Just for clarity on this subject, if a person ages out of foster care, their original birth certificate was never sealed.  Even though their parents' parental rights may have been terminated or given up, they were never adopted, so they only have one birth certificate.  When such a person applies for his or her birth certificate, s/he'll get the same thing any non-adopted person gets -- a copy of his or her original birth certificate.  It's the only one s/he has.

It's only if you have a finalized adoption that a new certificate is issued and the old one sealed.  Sealing the OBC is due to an adoption, not a relinquishment/termination.

Answer 3

Holy cow, I never knew it was THAT bad.  

I guess, in some part of my brain, I realized there were some difficulties with kids "aging out".  I know medical care is a big problem, but I never thought they just tossed kids out in the street.  I guess I sort of figured there was some attempt made to get them into college or apartments - some sort of SSI payments they'd receive for a few months or years.  

That's absolutely terrible that they didn't even tell Loony about her own BROTHER!  No, not terrible, it's unacceptable.

I have known a few foster kids who aged out of the system, but they were always with foster families I knew well.  (I've known three families, with maybe 5 kids between them.)  None of them was ever tossed out on the street.  Most of the time, the only reason they hadn't been adopted is because they weren't "eligible" for adoption.  The families I have known have always treated the foster children just like any other child become adult.  The kids go off to college or work and move into their own apartments, but come back to visit on holidays or summers if they're in school.  There was one exception, but that was with a boy who had so many mental health issues that when he aged out of foster care he had to be committed....  a sad situation.  

Loony, I'm so glad you share your experiences with us.  It's terrible you had to live through them, but it is also important people KNOW what is going on.  Every time you say something, it makes me more and more committed to wanting to adopt as soon as I have a stable enough home to offer another child.  Your story has even made me often seriously reconsider fostering...  though I'm still not sure i'm a strong enough person for that.  

Good luck in the future.  I hope you can find your brother and mom!  

Answer 4

Woa.  I freaked seeing my name:  LOL

Anyway,

I aged-out when I was 18.  

1)  The "system" gave me my birth certificate, my medical records from all my foster care years, my school records, some phone numbers and addresses for shelters and services, and I believe a couple of "Medicaid-like" coupons for health problems as an attempt to help with insurance.  I myself had $63, a couple changes of clothes, and a couple of "special items".  I did not have a driver's license.

Ok, literally....imagine.....kicked out the door.

2)  They gave me NOTHING about my bio-family.  My bio-father was still in prison, I knew that.  My case was "news" so I knew how many years he got for what he did.  I had no idea where my bio-mother was.  I dont think they knew where she was.  When I went into foster care, I had a bio-brother.  They did not foster us together nor did we see each other.  They gave me NO information about him.  That pissed me off.

3)  I lived in like 12 homes.  Honestly, I never kept in contact with any foster families and they did not keep in contact with me.  I spent the last years  in a group home (as a teen).  So, I had been removed from my last foster family and put into a group home.  None of them ever kept in contact with me or cared to see me.  I was "a difficult foster kid" and that is why I guess.  I had alot of problems resultant from my early experiences, so I was not easy.  I am grateful to all of them that put up with me, but honestly, they never cared about me like a parent would.

4)  Bio-mother.... I asked a question on here about finding my bio-mother, when I first started on Y/A.  I desparately want to know where she is.   She never came looking for me, so I guess that means she doesn't care or want me.  My bio-father, he is still in jail.  And I know everytime he comes up for parole because I get notified by the state if I want to come and make a victim statement.  **** him.

Many states will not give you your foster records.  Many states "seal them" or you are not given the records and have to ask for specific information which they can or can not decide to give you.  It sucks.

People do not realize that you are literally set out the door with NOTHING.  I wound up sleeping on my boss's couch until I could save enough money to get a crappy apartment.  I was 19 years old and living in a h**l-hole, not even safe enough for a criminal.  

The "aging-out" process has gotten a little better, but not much.  So many kids wind up homeless or in shelters.  It is sad.

I am not sure why you asked, but it is really not pretty.

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EDIT: (soapbox now)

Think about it.  Imagine being 18, no high-school dipolma because only about 54% of foster kids graduate HS, having no family and being on the streets.  So next time you see a homeless person, think twice...it was probably a former foster kid.  

There is transitional housing now, but it is hard to get into and there is not much of it.  In some states, you can also stay in FC until you are 21 if you are still in school.  If you can get a degree by 21, you are probably in a better position.  But again, only 2% of Foster kids ever get a college degree.  

Also, mental health issues are HUGE in the foster care population.  PTSD is 2-4 times greater than in veterans.  To get over PTSD, you need therapy and medications...which requires money and insurance...both of which aged-out foster kids don't have.

It is really a sad, sad problem.  And it is not solved by ignoring it.