Losing your child and how to get a life worth living or not?

Question

hi, i lost the most precious thing in my life on 27 feb 03 my daughter meghan aged 13 i would like any1 else who has lost a child to let me no how they live each day as there is no other way she took my medication by mistake and as only being tiny an had tummy bug for 3 days it was enough i blame myself everyday even though police drs an some family and freinds said it wasnt but arnt we supposed to protect our babies she was supposed to finish school get boyfreinds her licence all sorts of things and i cant have that now also dcd took my 2 foster twins who were related by family who had been in our home for 5 yrs so not 1 but 3 children my familys fallen apart i dont wana wake up in mornings i just want her back just one more time please if you have been thru or goin thru it pls let me no how to breath again or not meghans mummy lyn xxxxx

Answer 1

My dear Lyn

I lost my three week old baby daughter, but I don't think that's the same thing. My mother lost her 5 year old son, my brother, from leukemia when I was three. There is no pain and no suffering worse than this. I am weeping just reading your letter. You never, never get over it, but you do get used to it and come to accept it and live and find happiness as the new person you have become after passing through so much sorrow and pain. Your daughter would want you to live and be happy - you know that. You must live for her and celebrate life in her memory. It's five years ago that you lost your dear daughter - has the pain not got any easier at all? I am very concerned for you: this important and serious problem deserves a better forum for discussion and healing than Yahoo Answers. Because there's no answer to this. If you can have another child, you should. Nothing else heals the wound better.

There is a trite saying 'no parent shoukld have to bury their child', but we do have to, all the time. You are not alone. Put aside your daughter and let her rest now, and seek out the person you are meant to be in the world: she would hate to think of you suffering and not enjoying life.

Good luck.  

Answer 2

OMG - your posting has made me cry ... I feel so much for your pain ..... but you must know you can't change what has happened and you can't take back anything that has been done .... you can however try to start changing the way you look at things .... your daughter is never far away - just in the other room - because she is always in your heart ..... you will never forget your daughter, but you must also know she wouldn't want you to be as unhappy as you are .... so, for her sake, you must now make your life worthwhile,  try to do things that you know she would have liked to see you do, things that might make you happy and smile, and things that bring the family together ... she was part of that family, still is ...

speak with your doctor, or social services, there are selfhelp groups and counselling services that will help .... and/or try and get into voluntary work relating to people similar to yourself - there's a lot of strength to be gained from being with like people....

Answer 3

I can understand how you don't want to go on, but you must. Pull yourself and your family together and draw from one an others strength. You cannot go on blaming yourself, Meghan would not want to see you this way. Seek counseling right away, for yourself and the sake of your family.

Answer 4

so you girl OD'd on your RX meds because they weren't secured.  I lost a wife and two daughters in a house fire while I was out of the country.  The house was new and the contractor cheated on the way the chimney was built.  Started an attic fire and they died.    The home was inspected before we bought it and nothing was called out for repair.  

In your case, whatever really happened will never be known.   She's gone and for whatever reason your foster care kids are too.  Either your emotional state or something else prompted the authorities to remove them.  Get with a counselor and work through your grief.  You have to get on with your life.  Good Luck

Answer 5

ignore the c**p answer below dont do nothing like that it wouldnt make ur daughter happy things will get better but only if you want them 2 remember uv still got your memorys andno1 can ever take them away from you x*x

Answer 6

Sir,life must go on even we have to face hard things, I believe, lovely Meghan must be very happy that his father was very great in all time..tough,rational and diligent..Sir,you have the time now..start a new life..before it's too late to realize that ther are many more things to be treasured in this world..many parents do charity works to prove their love..Meghan would smile sweetlty,she will know how much his father is only a person that cannot avoid fatalisme and always want to get a  better life.Water cannot be cut off.....you will gather your family one day later..when?God will answer it..for this single time,find yourself first..the rest will be done by Him..just believe..find yourself,your courage and yourself and your courage..

Answer 7

ok well,no i haven't lost a child in my life but i can relate because now that i'm pregnant i realize i'll do anything for my baby.parents shouldn't blame themselves for there kids death they should just accept reality,move on through life remember the happy moments and know that she's with you wherever they are.meghan isn't blaming you.you should always remember that.throughout her life she was living with you.and your sadness is actually letting me know that you were a great parent,you yourself has said it was an accident,while she was alive you did everything you could do to protect her.didn't you?

what do you miss the most her laugh?

her smile?her playfulness? and have you thought about why she laughed,smiled,and played?

because you were there and because she was happy.yea she's gone but you should 'think' about her now that you cant 'take care' of her,would she want you to be sad all your life and die?

or would she want you to be happy?

just remember that you were the one who let her breath,laugh,love,and be loved and i'm sure meghan is thankful for that.About the twins,you're a hero for letting them have a family and i'm sure they won't forget you,YOU did the best you could.and life goes on dieing won't get Meghan or the twins back.

i hope this helped you.