Lost a love one to cancer? how to cope?

Question

I lost my mother to ovarian cancer 2 weeks ago. she was a priceless treasure one that's irreplacable to me, there's nothing of greater value than my mother's unending love. She has a heart of gold; she's my inspiration, strength and wisdom, to be the best I can be. She's given me hope when I've needed it most, and guided me through life with her knowledge. The memories we've made together, the laughter and tears we've shared; has strengthened our friendship and has brought us closer. I know that God has blessed me, he gave me her for a mother, but I am also thankful for she is my best friend!! I feel so lost and confused. Sometimes i feel like shes still here. I was wondering if anyone has experienced losing someone so special in your life and how to except it

Answer 1

I know exactly how you're feeling, and everything you said is exactly how I felt about my mom because she was also my best friend. She died about 4 months ago to cancer too... and there hasn't been a day that's gone by that I don't think about her. This is a special kind of pain that doesn't really go away, and everyone will learn to accept it at different times than others. My sisters choose not to think about her, but I seem to think about her a lot. They're probably going to have to deal with it at some point in their lives, where as I'll probably mend better in the future because I won't have built up depression. My heart goes out to you because only those who've really lost someone special will understand one another's pain. I don't have a solution for you since I'm still dealing with it, but if you really believe that she's in heaven then one day you'll have a chance to meet her again. Take care.

Answer 2

My Mom died of cancer 2 years ago. I still mourn, however at least the tears have stopped . The first year, I cried everyday. If I thought of her, I cried. Just know, like my Mom, your MOm is happy and pain free now. We are the ones who mourn, grieve, and still feel pain. After watching my mom in incredible pain for years, it gave me some relief to know that there is no more pain after death. She would hurt no more. You will go thru phases, anger, grief, mourning. You never forget. You will always miss your Mom. However, the grieving does get easier. The crying does get to be less. Hang in there (there are support groups if you feel like talking)

Answer 3

yes i lost my dad to cancer who was also my best friend,he gave my strength and confidence like no one else,he died in jan2008,its normal for you to feel confused,i remember feeling the same way,months after he died i still was expecting him to come knocking on my door,it just wouldnt sink in,but what i do is i take the love and guidende,knowledge,etc he gave me and i use it to guide me through out the day everyday,and i really do feel like hes with me still,you will probably experience dreams as well some might be frightening to you,,then some might be really nice and comforting i truly believe those to be visits to comfort you,they sure comforted me,your mother loves you and she wants you to be happy,talk about her with the people you love most and the ones that knew her the way you did it helps by keeping her memory alive,you'll go through different stages of grief.im currently at the angry stage,i get upset easily,before i go to bed every night i tell my dad i love him and i wish him a good night,some times i talk to him in my head and tell him about my troubles,and i know what advice he would give so i use it to help me,it always works,she is still with you so dont worry! write to me anytime if u need to talk:)

Answer 4

You may find some help at the non-profit organization: I'm Too Young For This (www.I2y.org)

They have a lot of great resources.

Answer 5

Lost my mother 2 years ago from breast cancer was hard because we were close had to watch her lying in bed a few weeks while she was slipping slow away it was hard to this day I think of her all the time ,but I always think of the good times just keep that in mind she will always be with you good-luck.

Answer 6

I'm so sorry for your loss.  I lost my grandfather to multiple sclerosis in June of last year.  We were incredibly close, and I was completely crushed.  The only thing that got me through it was the rest of my family's love and support, and just remembering the good things about him.  I know that he was in pain for most of his life due to the MS, and now he has been relieved of that pain.  Same thing for your mother; cancer probably took a toll on her, and now she doesn't feel that pain anymore.  She is free, and she's still watching over you.  Let the strength that she gave you during her life continue on even after she's gone, and be the best that you can be, for her.  She wouldn't want you to be hurting like this for her, she would want you to remember the positive times you had with her and to be happy.

Answer 7

I lost both of my parents less than one year apart when i was in my 20s.  The whole world changed permanently, and there is nothing that can compensate for the loss - a piece is missing forever.  It hurts and there is nothing you can do except get though each day and let the grief process run its course.  In time, you accept the loss, and it eventually quits affecting your every thought.  

The grieving process is an unpredictable journey that follows its own course.   Each morning when you wake up you will be a little further along, and you feel slightly different.  Eventually, the process reaches an end and the person you lost has a permanent resting place in your heart and mind, and then you can move on.  It took me months to get my head out of the fog, and several years before i didn't feel sad every time i thought of my parents.   Now i always smile when i think of my parents, even though i still feel their loss after 20 years has passed.