Lost my baby and had surgery - Normal or Not?

Question

I had emergency surgery on Wednesday afternoon (D&E at 22 weeks cause baby died and did not come out). At one time I had three IVs in my left arm - but they only used 1. I was also poked with a needle to take blood samples numerous times. My right arm got it too but not as bad as my left arm. When I was released from the hospital on Thursday I felt beat up of course (kind of like being in a car accident is how I put it). My left arm has deep bruising and I am in pain because of it. I have one area on my left arm that is swollen, red and sorta hot to the touch. Is this normal from all the trauma to the arm? When I touch this red area it hurts!

Normal given the circumstances?

Thanks!

PS - I don't feel any pain to the area they operated on (my uterus).....just on the place they poked me so many times.

Also, I'm having bouts of crying about the loss and I'm having a hard time. Should I see a counselor to help me though this or will the sadness go away on it's own?

Answer 1

I am a CCMA

Yes it is normal for this to happen... I truly am sorry for your loss and yes you should really talk to a grief counselor

God Bless

Answer 2

If they were struggling to find a vein (as they always do with me) you will have a horrific looking bruise on one or both arms.

I think it is only right for you to be upset at such a horrible loss. I would suggest waiting a few more weeks and seeing if there is any improvement, as it can only be expected right now.

All the best to you. x

Answer 3

I'm so sorry for what you have been through i lost my baby at 18wks from my experience i would say see someone just to talk everything through your body has been through so much and although friends and relatives want to help you could end up holding your emotions back from them. I went on to become pregnant 3 months after losing my baby and went on to have quite bad depression while i was pregnant i kept things bottled up and it didn't help. I went on a few sites on the internet for miscarriages that helped me but don't spend to long on them as you can get consumed by other peoples grief as well as your own.

if your arm gets any worse i would see the doctor.

x

Answer 4

I'm so sorry for your loss. Please do seek counselling, you deserve all the support you can get. Part of the problem is that it is a huge adjustment for your body to go from pregnant to not pregnant so suddenly. You will have lots of hormones running around in your system and it may take a while for them to settle.

But of course that's nothing compared to the emotional trauma.

The pain and heat in your arm may be due to an infection. See your doctor for a course of antibiotics. S/he may also be able to refer you to a good counsellor and/or support groups.

The resources below may be a good place to start your search for a counsellor and support groups.

All the best.

Answer 5

I am so very sorry for your loss, and I understand how you feel, you are welcome to e-mail me at anytime and I will be glad to talk to you. I gave birth to my son at 24 wks 4 days and lost him 26 days later. What you are feeling with the crying is completely normal, and will likely continue for a while. Losing a child is probably one of the hardest things that anyone can experience. If you feel like you need a counselor then definitely I would recommend seeing one. It can help. I never saw one myself. The sadness is likely to continue for a very long time. Losing your child isn't something you just get over. Your arm being sore and hot to touch is also normal. You can also check out my myspace: www.myspace.com/elbeeash

I've got a lot of blogs about grief and poems about child loss, and what is normal for you to be feeling right now. Please take time for yourself, and allow yourself to grieve, and if you need a friend, please feel free to e-mail me or IM me at any time day or night. I'll get back to you as soon as I can.

Answer 6

I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your baby.  Your feelings over the loss are certainly normal at a time like this.  It will take time for you to heal, and there will probably always be sadness in your heart over losing a child.  It will get easier as time goes by.  If things get worse for you, or you have no one to turn to, then you might want to seek a counselor.

As far as your arm is concerned, it sounds like it's infected, get it checked out.

Sorry you're going through such a hard time.

Answer 7

I'm sorry for your loss.

If it only really hurts when you touch it, it's probably just horribly bruised. If you can, try to think about how much it hurts today, and then think again tomorrow - if it's getting worse then call your doctor.

It's normal to be sad, and it will gradually get less - it will never go away completely, it's a part of you. If you feel seeing a counsellor will help, then of course talk to one. But right now anyone would feel sad, it's not a sign that you have a problem.

(Big hug) and I hope you feel better soon.