Lots of questions about adoption?

Question

I have so many questions I don't even know where to start!

God laid it on my heart many years ago that adoption was something I should consider in the future. I thought it would be well in the future, after I had kids who were grown. it looks like I was wrong. I have been trying to get pregnant for 2 1/2 years. The opprotunity to adopt first presented itself in April, and now again with the same baby. Here are my questions, please answer whatever you can.

1) How much does it generally cost if it is a family member?

2) How long does it take?

3) Could I apply for things like Medicaid or Food Stamps as if I gave birth to the baby, if necessary? (I am better off financially than the mother for sure, but I am by no means rich.)

4) Are there financial limitations that they might not let us adopt, even though it is what the birth mother wants?

5) What if she changes her mind later?

6) Who does the home study if it is in 2 different states?

I'm sure I will add more

Answer 1

You're right -- you have many questions.  Let's take one at a time:

1) How much does it generally cost if it is a family member?

You will have to get an adoption homestudy done by either your state child services, or a private adoption agency.  The first is free and the second is $500-$800.  You may then have to pay for ICPc work ($500-$2000) to approve the adoption in both states, unless your state does that for you.  It depends on how much the state is willing to do to have this child adopted.  If they already have a family in the state where the child is residing, they will likely do nothing but keep the child there.  If not, they may help.  You have to ask first!

2) How long does it take?

6 months to 2 years.  I have hleped many family members adopt from the foster system in another state, and it mostly moves slowly.

3) Could I apply for things like Medicaid or Food Stamps as if I gave birth to the baby, if necessary? (I am better off financially than the mother for sure, but I am by no means rich.)

You can't now, because then it shows you are not able to afford to raise this child.  What you do after the adoption if finalized is your business. But rethink this, if you need these services.  Can you really care for this child without adding stress to this child's life?  There are plenty of families who can.

4) Are there financial limitations that they might not let us adopt, even though it is what the birth mother wants?

Yes, you have to qualify just like any other adoptive parent.  I have written extensively about the requirements to adopt and the homestudy assessment questions, and you can look them up by clicking on my name and looking at Best Questions.

5) What if she changes her mind later?

If she signs a Parental Rights Relinquihmsnet, or the state terminates her rights, it cannot be undone by her.  That is, if the birthfather's rights have also been terminated.  This is where most adoptions get into trouble.  Make sure she tells  the truth regarding the birthfather.  This may come back to haunt you and this child later on!  If he says he was unaware of the adoption, even though he has never been there, he can get custody.  And other complications, etc.

6) Who does the home study if it is in 2 different states?

You have to get the homestudy done where you live.  Either through a private agency or through the state.  Ask!

I hope this helps!!

Answer 2

1. You should be able to do a private adoption of a family member for little in fees.  Find an attorney who will work with you to draw up the necessary documents and take you through the legal process.  (There is a federal adoption tax credit that you can find information on at: http://www.irs.gov/taxtopics/tc607.html and some states also offer tax credits -- some employers offer adoption assistance, ask the HR department of yours if it does)

2. How long it takes will likely depend on where you are located.

3. You should be able to apply for assistance if you qualify whether or not you have a child born to you or adopted.

4. There will likely be financial/income requirements, but these will vary depending on where you live.  Contact someone about it (you can probably ask social workers that question or contact your state child welfare office...or look online on their site to see the income requirements).

5. Generally there is a waiting period where the birth mother can change her mind.  I think that in most states it's about 6 months.  Check on the laws in your state and the birth mother's state.

6. You would have someone local do the homestudy.  You can contact an agency to do the homestudy or an independent social worker who does homestudies.  Compare service, costs and all that other stuff between the ones you call.

Answer 3

If you and the birth mother or birth father are immediate family you most likely will not need a homestudy - check the adoption laws in your state.  Family adoptions in general take much less time than others. You probably will have to pay for a lawyer for the actual adoption, but once the child is adopted, the child will be treated by the courts and state as if you had given birth to that child - you can even get a new birth certificate issued with you and your husbands names listed as the parents.  As far as if the birth mother changes her mind - check the adoption laws in your state and see what the statute says as far as how long she has to change her mind - the state I live in is 3 days from the date she signs her consent to adoption, then its a done deal.  You most likely can check all of this on-line by your state statutes.

Answer 4

1)

You could go through a laywer, at it could cost anywhere from $2000 to $10000 depending on how much is involved.  Terminating of rights, how many apperances in court, things of that nature.

You could also go through social services as a kinship care provider, I do believe you just take the courses for foster parents, and get the Social Services in your town involved.  Many cases they will allow the "new parents" to take the child/children into their home while this is all going on.  The cost involved this way would be very small...possibly even $1500 total.  But not all situations would work out this way.

2)

If you goes about way number one that I talked about, it could take up to a year for everything to be completed with baby having your last name.  But you would have the child in your care sooner than that.  If you go about way number two, it would probably be about the same.  I would guess in this case, without knowing all the details that you could maybe have the adoption petition filed and completed in about  6 months.

3)

You could apply for WIC and Medicaid for sure.  Don't feel bad about it either, I understand.  I am not sure about Food Stamps

4)

You need to have a home studay completed and they will look at your financial status.  When we adopted, my husband was making about $2000 a month, and I was not working.  We had a $133,000 home loan, and a $2000 car loan.  No credit card debt.  Just to give you a clue as to who they allow to adopt.

5)

Once rights have been terminated, both Birth Father and Mother, there is no way she can take the child back.

6)

I would find someone in the state you live in to do the homestudy.  You will then need to use something called Interstate Compact (ICPC) which your lawyer will inform you of.  That will cost from $1000 to $3000 more, depending on the two states involved.  When we adopted from Texas into South Dakota, the cost was $1000.

Good Luck

Answer 5

My husband and I adopted a 6 year old severely handicapped child who was a student in my Special Ed. class. We first had to be her foster family while we were being checked out for the adoption. We had to submit financial records and I can tell you that while you don't have to be rich to adopt, they won't let you have a child if you qualify for food stamps. We did get her on Medicaid because of her extensive medical needs. It took 3 years to get all the home visits, interviews, background checks, etc. done, but in the end she was ours. We lost her 9 years later to kidney failure, but we treasured every second we had with that little angel. I was the same as you, I was having trouble getting pregnant. Once we took our Viola in, it was 3 months later that I found myself pregnant with our Maggie. The doctor thought it was Viola's intense needs that sort of kicked my "maternal" hormones into gear. Good luck, dear, adoption is just another way God blesses you.

Answer 6

call legal aid....they helped me to find a lawyer to do a pro bono for my husband to adopt my son...as it was a step parent adoption, it was simple, but....it is typical that a lawyer do pro bono work for positive situations...they love to do adoptions as it is positive work that is rewarding for them....please look into legal aid...make it known to them that you know that they do not handle this, but you know they have a list of lawyers that would be willing to do pro bono work...also, my husband and i were on foodstamps when he adopted mt son...also, i know that if the check goes well, you can also be a foster parent who can adopt while being on food stamps....good luck

Answer 7

i can't really think of any answers to your questions but still god bless you for adopting babies that are either not wanted or taken from there mother / father.

Answer 8

In the homestudy, you are going to have to show that you have the income to support a child.  It is unlikely that the homestudy will present you favorably if you do not already have the income.  Further, two different states complicates things more.  You have to hire an attorney in the other state and one in your state and do what is called the ICPC.  By having another state, you can easily add 5K to the total cost of the adoption.  If you are lucky, you can find an attorney in your state who will do the adoption for maybe 3K.  The homestudy will likely cost you about 1-2K.  You will also have court costs, etc.  There are adoption credits and exemptions that it sounds like you are probably eligible for, but that only comes with the taxes after you have already paid for the adoption upfront.  Whether she can change her mind or not and when will depend on the laws of your state.  I have been told that some states give as much as two years, though I don't know this as a fact.  Also, do NOT forget that there is a birthfather.  If he does not know or sign, then you risk him being able to come back and try to get custody of the child himself.  I don't mean to sound so gloom and doom.  There are just lots of risks here.