Lottery winner ---- what to do ?

Question

Just heard that a "lottery" winner ( whatever that is ) has just bought the pile next door ( well its over 3 miles away ). Apparently they came into a lot of money, and thought to move to the country ?

The worst thing of all, is they apparently aren't titled and used to run a taxi firm..!!!!!!!

Ive been advised to watch Midsommer Murders for tips......

Surely there is something I can do.........

Answer 1

Invite them round for a glass of arsenic.

Answer 2

Wait, what?

Answer 3

'Murder' can be made to look an 'accident'... imvite them hunting in the woods and lay mantraps...

Answer 4

One assumes you have strengthened security ten fold old boy, that said I would also recommend the use of my man Bongo I can have him at your estate within the hour. Should keep the riff raff beyond the main gates till you get the hounds blood lust up to a suitable level. Tip top.

Answer 5

Organise some sporting activity such as a grouse shoot, they can hold the birds while we shoot or riding to hounds, daub them with aniseed and let loose the dogs of war.

Answer 6

haha. at least they will be 3 miles away.