Lemme try and give the complete picture.
We lived together in my aprtment for about two years before she left for california. We maintained a long distance relationship for a year and half half, and did our best to work things out. I'm 30, she's 36.
June 14 - She told me that we would be better off as friends, that the demands of her work made it difficult to maintain commitments. I thought it would be best to give her some space.
July 15 - She calls me in the middle of the night crying asking why I didnt call her for a month. Natually I told her that I was always just here wating for her call. Reassured that I was always there for her.
July 20 - Realized how much she meant to me, started to long for her so badly that I desperately tried to win her back.
July 24 - She persisted in telling me that we would be better of as friends. She tells me she still loves me deeply but was too busy with her work to give me any time.
July 27 - I persisted to win her back. Desperately still in love with her. We finally got to talk. I was so happy I could burs.I was madly longing for her. I was absolutely thirlled to hear her voice and was jsut about to propose.. In a matter of minutes I was reeling from heaven to h**l. She told me that there was something awefully wrong. That I would not want her back. She told me she was pregnant with another man's child. A freaking midget she shared the aprtment with whom she reassured me was harmless.I was crying for days. Tormented by my genuine longing and love for her.
She refuses to marry the midget, acknowleding that the pregnancy was a mistake. She refused to have an abortion due to her religous beliefs.
She tells me she still loves me, but it would be unfair for me to contnue our relationship. I told her that despite it all I loved her still. She refuses to leave the midget, reasoning that she needs someone to drive her around and help her with the preganancy.
I AM IN TERRIBLE ANGUISH at her betrayal. Realizing that we still both feel for each other makes it worse. Told her that I was praying that the pregnancy would self terminate, she said the same thing too but still refues to have an abortion.
I am still in denial. I AM A TOTAL WRECK. I still love her. I pity her for what she is about to face. I feel as if I died and lost haf my soul. I've never been hurt this bad before. She was my best friend, confidant, lover.
I am insanely jealous and outrage that she's still sahring that apartment with the midget (literally, biologically a dwarf) . I dont know what to do! Please give me some advice. It's either she's lying about it to push me away OR she really does love me but made a mistake.
I dont know if I can put up with the baby. It would be so much easier to turn around and walk away, but I genuinely love and care for her. What am I supposed to do?
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