Low self-esteem: a result of taking oneself too seriously?

Question

It may seem backwards to think that, but this thought hit me earlier and I wondered if that had occurred to anyone else.

So, if you take yourself too seriously then you're setting yourself up for disappointment, since you can't live up to the image of yourself you've created.

When you're having unrealistic expectations, not realizing that they are unrealistic, then you're probably going to have low self-esteem.

Low self-esteem is basically being un-enthusiastic about yourself.

Are there two ways to get to LSE?

One, being you don't care about yourself through a pattern of failure and unrealistic expectations.

Two is simply never thinking that you're valuable, never being enthusiastic about yourself to begin with.

So, what I'm basically asking is: how does a person go from taking themselves very seriously to not at all?

Are there other ways that you can think of? Is this making sense? I'm very tired and sick.. so that is my excuse if I sound a bit dull and pointless. But, I hope not..

Opinions/educated guesses and comments alike are all welcome.

Thanks guys! :D

Answer 1

I have extremely low self esteem. I find that when i'm not even thinking about myself I feel fine, it's when I do think about my self it goes into a downward spiral. I guess its not not caring so much as it is taking the focus off of yourself and helping others. Anyways, that always helps me.

Answer 2

People don't know how to compliment anymore, I think that's what caused it with me.

I would/could compliment others freely. And they ATE it up, just absorbed it, but no one compliments back... It gets draining somehow and you start to wonder am I ok? am I doing a good job?

then you try harder to be a people pleaser and you just can't.

At least that's what I ever noticed. Geesh one compliment and I am through the roof I don't know what to do, even I look better in the mirror CAUSE someone justified it to me.

P>S> hope you feel better soon... I wasn't gonna answer anymore but.. well.. good night.

Answer 3

Taking yourself to seriously really can lead to low self esteem.  This is really just a form of perfectionism  Perfectionism, while many times can be good, can lead to some serious emotional problems. Nothing you do seems to be good enough (in your eyes) and eventually you quit altogether. Perfectionism itself is a red flag for some type of emotional problem.  You have a low self image of yourself so you try to be perfect in everything, trying to prove to people that you are worthy.  

Now you can't just go from taking yourself to seriously to not taking yourself seriously at all.  If I could make some simple suggestions they would be: 1. Learn some way to not care as much of what you think other people think of you.  A famous quote says "It's not what you think of yourself, or what other people think of you, but what what you think other people think of you".  You might be thinking people think things about you  that really aren't true and this leads you to overcompensate and become a perfectionist.  2. Learn how to fail.  Dealing with failure is extremely hard for some people.  The best people in the world are those who learned to deal with failure.  Thomas Edison failed hundreds of times to make the light bulb but when asked about his failures he said "I didn't fail hundreds of times, I just found hundreds of way how not to make a light bulb".  There are books to help people who don't deal with failure well.

Answer 4

It can be... But more often, it's a result of thinking You're not "worthy" or "good enough..." or "don't measure up"- to others... It's NEVER productive to Compare oneself with other People- because you aren't THEM ! You're your OWN Individual Self... And it's THAT you need to make the most of- NOT how you compare with anyone else. Once you truely Believe in your SELF, THEN You can focus on what You want to achieve Beyond You! ... NO ONE is Better than YOU- unless you give up your Self Respect. Until You "Stand Up" for what is YOURS, you'll ALWAYS be at the mercy of those who would "knock you down"- just because they CAN.  :(  So take a good LONG look at the face You see in your Mirror tomorrow, and ask it; "Alright, WHAT have You done for ME- lately..?" Then get out there & DO something about It ! The WORST thing You can Do- is Nothing...  Good luck !  :)