Low s*x drive normal?

Question

I'm only 19 and i don't feel the desire to have s*x with my boyfriend. We've lived together for over a year now and we've dated for 3 years. We lost our virginity to each other a lil over a yr ago. I think s*x is too much work for what you get. I never feel all that great during or afterwards. My boyfriend says he wants an "sexually open relationship" now and i don't know how to respond.

Answer 1

He's not getting his needs met with you if he's asking for that. Tell him exactly how you'd feel if he had s*x with another woman. The best thing you can do is talk to him about why you don't think you're enjoying s*x, and he'll probably be more than happy to help you. Communication is key.

Answer 2

Well do you love him? Usually its some sort of sexual desire that makes the difference between best friends and gf/bf's.

And you also mentioned that you both lost your virginity together. That's very interesting to me assuming that since you've been dating 3 years you probably haven't been with other people. If that's the truth then he very well might not know how to satisfy you, not having had any other experience. I was never much into masturbation but knowing what felt good to me was really important to giving my bf the clues on how to do what felt best for me.  

And no. Do not do the open relationship. That's just insane and will lead to sooo many problems later. Break up if it's that much trouble for you and/or him. =)

Answer 3

Sexually open as in you can have s*x with other people and so can he? If that is what you mean that is BS. No matter what your problems are he should be able to help you thru them. If he can't do that then he is probably not worth the trouble. Perhaps he is not satisfying you therefore you don't find s*x satifying. You guys need to be able to sit down and talk about where you are and where your relationship is. You can do things to make s*x better but you guys have to be willing to get involved in that. The other thing is maybe you guys are drifting apart and you are just not attracted to him anymore? Ask yourself some serious questions and get help or talk thru it if you want the relationship to last. Best of luck.

Answer 4

Aww, well i think you do have a s*x drive but its just hard work for you. I think you should make it fun! He wants a sexually open relationship okay then... buy some KY him and hers that supposed to be good. Try mixing it up liek doing a strip tease or soemthing or new positions. Do things that feel really good to the borth of you. There are good results you get, you get less stress, its good before bed because you become calm after, brings you and your boyfriends closer emotionally, you both feel good while getting it, and it can be fun and different depending on your lifestyle. Good luck! Hope i helped.

Answer 5

Well I don't know what he means by the sexually open part but if I was you I would find a new boyfriend. If your not getting anything out of the s*x worth working for he isn't doing something right. It is time to move on. You have been with him for three years. You are getting tired. You need to live a little. If you are meant to be together you will end up back together but don't go out here in the world and sleep around because there are way too many diseases and they don't all have a ugly face.

Answer 6

well something like 15% of women are asexual, or no interest in s*x, versus only 2% of guys

Answer 7

You can't swear on here but I would respond with 2 words, first starting in F and the second ending in F (in fact I'd no doubt use several in between too). That's a cop out!! Men don't NEED s*x as they often like to insist is the case and if he loves and respects you he wouldn't ever think of suggesting it but would perhaps ask you to talk to a doctor, or go for relationship counselling if you both wanted to save your relationship.

Men and Woman are built differently and Woman are often tired with house stuff, everyday life, kids, friends, work etc.  Do you do most of the household stuff, shopping, cooking cleaning. Perhaps he could run you a bath, pour you wine, tuck you into bed and let you get a good rest for a few nights then see if that brings back a little desire and energy?

I've found by talking to many friends over many years that most of them have lost their libido after the first flush of romance and the lust has gone to be replaced with thinking about what to have for dinner and rows over changing the loo roll.

Hope you both work it out hun but PLEASE don't agree to an open relationship as it'll hurt you, humiliate you and I would lay money on the fact that if YOU went and had s*x elsewhere HE'D never cope with it.

Bee

Answer 8

Yes and No....  It depends on how often you consider normal.  Since you didn't specify frequency (as I wouldn't expect you too since that can be a private subject), but first let me address your boyfriends request for a sexually open relationship.  That is a cowardly and insensitve thing to do.  I'm not sure how strong your relationship is, but that shows a huge gapping void that needs to be addressed.  It could be that s*x between the two of you is not fulfilling physically therfore it is hard for someone so new to s*x to find worth doing.  It could also be something emotional for you.  My brother in law was a dating a younger woman a couple of years ago and something similar happened to her.  After a couple of months of counseling, things got a little better as far as her desire increasing.  For men, s*x is stimulated by visual.  For women, it's more more about words and feelings.  If you have something bothering you, no matter what is done, you can't be "in the mood".  Lastly, the only other thing I could think of is possibly anykind of hormon birth control or other medications can greatly reduce the desire for s*x.  Be sure to take a look at all avenues to see possibly what could be the root cause.  And also tell you boyfriend, he's very insenstive!!!  If a man truely loves, cares, and respects a women, he should be just as interested in helping you address the issue, no try to find a way out or a way to fulfill just "his" needs.  

Good luck and best wishes to you!!!

Answer 9

The first thing you need to do is figure out why your s*x drive is low and try to help get it back.  I was in your situation and it's not fun without being horny and feeling in the mood when needed.  I also felt like my orgasms (if I would even get one) were really weak.  Probably because of my s*x drive.

However, I tried exercising and dieting but nothing seemed to be working.  I thought I was screwed.  I then found something just as amazing as the vibrator.

My friend at work told me about this stuff she took to raise her s*x drive.  It was a natural herbal supplement and was I lucky to of found it.  Theres no side effects and the s*x drive is just tremendous along with orgasms that are blasting.  The stuff is called Hersolution pills.  At the time I saved money on them at herenhancement.com

What I did was tried out for 3 months and that was really it.  I found taking them every other day or so was the best to stretch it out. After the months were up, I was back to normal with a beating s*x drive and my o****m strength in increased so much.  

Well good luck and I hope this helps.

Answer 10

Maybe you're just not being sexually fulfilled.  I say NO to the sexually open relationship...either be completely together or completely apart.

Answer 11

I agree with "new surrender".  Talk to him.

However, I would go see the doctor to rule out medical problems.  Sometimes low s*x drive is not normal because it is due to hormonal imbalance or PCOS.  I had no sexual interest at 19 due to PCOS.