Lunchtime Supervisors and Special Needs Child?

Question

My daughter has a diagnosis of Asperger syndrome and other behavioural issues. She goes to a mainstream primary school and is very bright. She does not like to socialise and also eats very little. She has come home from school today really upset because the senior supervisor at lunchtime has forced her to eat all her dinner and shouted at her, this is not the first time this has happened. I am going to go into school and complain about this woman tomorrow but I don't want school to fob me off. What would be the best way to go about complaining?

Answer 1

Keep calm and find out the facts first. Nobody should force your child to eat but could it be they were just encouraging her to try to eat a little so that she would not be hungry for the rest of the afternoon? If you go in all guns blazing you probably won't get far but make an appointment with the head or deputy and most of all stay calm and polite.

Answer 2

its up to the senco to make staff aware of kids needs -unfortunately midday supervisers will be the last to be told (if ever) the school will indeed fob you off with"we will investigate and we are sorry and it wont happen again-if she has school dinners make her life a whole lot easier and send her with a small packed lunch-did this with my child who has aspergers years ago because i was sick of him being told he couldnt throw food away -believe me youll make her time at lunch a lot easier to bare if you do this x

Answer 3

I agree with spegali.  If you go in with guns blazing they will close ranks behind the supervisor.  Take a deep breath and prepare yourself to speak factually and not emotionally.  Do you have documentation of the Aspergers Syndrome?  If so, do they know?  Regardless, take in evidence of the extent of the Aspergers and its implication (from your doctor).  Does the supervisor know about this condition or is he/she simply treating your child just like every other child?  

Some schools use paraprofessionals or even parent volunteers for mundane duties like lunchroom supervision and the person is not included in the general information that teachers need to know about individual students.

There is usually a logical and plausible explanation for these kinds of problems.  So don't go in with a "he/she just doesn't like my child and needs to be fired" kind of attitude.

Good luck.

Answer 4

I work in this field and am also a mother, and if anyone ever forced my child to eat, whether the situation b special needs or not, I would have been on the phone by now reporting it to the Principal or whoever in charge and if they didn't do anything, i would tell them that u would like to place a formal complaint against this "a88h88e", this individual should not be working in this field and should concider a new Career! Give me the # and I'll call for u! This person should be ashamed of them self, and face repercussions..BIG TIME!

Answer 5

Stay calm, remember there are two sides to every story. Ask the Head to investigate what happened and say you will come back once he has had a chance to do this. He will have to wait until the Supervisor gets to school before he can ask what happened. You must also ask him to ensure that each member of staff knows about her Special needs. Once he has the facts you can rest assured he will ensure it doesn't happen again.

The point of complaining is to make sure it doesn't happen again so emphasise how disappointed you are in his staff. This always works better than roaring and threatening.

Answer 6

I would make sure that the school knows that it's normal for her to eat very little. The supervisor was probably concerned that she wasn't eating enough. Go to the school and ask to talk to the principal and lunch supervisor, then calmly explain your concerns. They'll listen to you if you're polite. Also, give the supervisor a chance to tell her side of the story - children often exaggerate, and the supervisor may not have thought that she was shouting at your child, although that's how your daughter interpreted it. Good luck!

Answer 7

OK midday supervisors have a hard time and may not know that your child is aspergic however dont be fobbed off with this as a reason as no child should be shouted at.

Be calm and polite ( the school staff may know there is a problem with this person but may be waiting for a complaint before they take action )

I have found that pupils who are on the autistic continuum respond well to social stories to help them cope with stressful situations - good luck

Answer 8

Hi,

I think the best way to handle this is to try and be calm ( i know its hard), wxplain what is troubling you to the staff, and reinforce that children with aspergers don't like close contact  etc etc, state the facts about your child and their specific dislikes. I can't believe she has done this!!!!  Ask the school to see if the SENCO can talk to the staff and explian the best way to deal with this.  

remember it is the dinner ladies fault and not the headteacher ot classteachers.  Be calm, and get your point across, it's your child and you want whats best for her so getting angry won't help.  tell them that you understand that many people may not know how to deal with children with Asd and you would appreciate that ALL staff were educated in these matters.

Hope this helps, and good luck x

Answer 9

I worked as a lunchtime supervisor in an SEN school. I was feeding a young boy with severe disabilities who had a gastro button for food. I was told that me feeding him was not for nutrition, just for taste and to keep the ability to eat. You should go into the school and ask to speak with the head and midday supervisor and explain that if you daughter doesnt need to eat for nutritional value then she should not be forced to eat all her food as it will only upset her.

If this fails and is repeated, i would suggest moving school to somewhere she will be happy.