Lying (5 year old)?

Question

What is the best approach to deal with a 5 year old that lies. To the point of insisting it is truth. She is my fourth and youngest child, I'm not new at this. But this is a real puzzler. It seems young for such creativity and sneakiness.

I can fix individual situations. My question is more about reversing this behavior. We've had conversations about how it will affect friendships, how it affects respect people have, how no one will believe a liar even when they tell the truth, how God knows the truth. We've done discipline. It's still going on.

She's also got a temper like I've never seen. But that's a whole'nother posting. I can't wait for teenage years.

Answer 1

She has a very vivid imagination.  You need to channel her energies into writing, or developing things.  This is not a bad thing, it is good, since she is showing intelligence.  Now you have to channel it into something creative.

Answer 2

I had a similar problem with my daughter but in her instance she really believed the lies because she lived so much in her head.  It took a lot of time and I had to call her on her lies every time.  It finally resolved itself through me not letting up.  Good luck.

Answer 3

I've had the same problem with my son who is around her age...First I must stress the fact that you shouldn't stress the affect it would have on friends and other people ect...you should tell her the affect it has on YOU...let her know that YOU will not believe her when she's telling the truth ect...maybe she's scared so try to reassure her that your not going to hurt her but she has to be honest with you...don't yell or scream and just be patient...she will come around eventually...it worked for my son now he's telling the truth alot more.

Answer 4

First of all it will get worse when she gets to become a teenager...tell her that when she lies she will be grounded for a month with no tv or having friends over and if she continues to do it then talk to a socail worker they can tell you what to do with her my sister used to be a social worker and she helped kids like this all the time...about the temper put her in time out for 5 minutes and tell her if she yells at you again then she will be put back in that spot.

Answer 5

i don't know sounds very hard to deal w/her

Answer 6

When you catch her in a lie, then confront her with it, PROVE to her she is lying and then take her to her room, wear her butt out good!

Tell her she is grounded the rest of the day.

After she cools down some, tell her you are sorry you HAVE to do that, but from now on this is what she will get, BUT you will go easier on her IF she tells the truth, next time it WILL be worse for her.

Take the same approach with her temper, let her know tantrums will not be tolerated.She sounds like she has gotten her way and was queen bee too long.

Answer 7

We had the same problem with our son. I know it sounds mean but we had to ask him if he was lying about every thing. When I asked him if he wanted seconds at dinner and he said "yes" I would say "are you sure or are you lying". When he said he needed to go to the bathroom we asked if he really needed to or if he was lying. Every little thing we asked if he was lying and said we never knew if he was lying or telling the truth. He hated it and got really upset but then he stopped.

Answer 8

Everybody is telling lies its human nature. However you can discuss and explain to her that telling lies is wrong and it will have consequences in her life. Try to use examples that she will understand. Kids need to understand the aftermath of their actions however not as a form of punishment from your side.

Answer 9

Mozz Jr for President in 2040!!

no really,  I've got 6 and it's hard sometimes to be patient and still continue the litany of what is acceptable in you house and what's not.

This is an example of why fables and fairy tales were helpful let her see some library movies made for kids.

give her an outlet for her imagination so that she knows that there is a time and place for everything including her amazing creativity.  but you need to continually let her know that not accepting responsibility for her bad decisions is not the time to lie (or be creative) but that's when your the most proud of her for her honesty.  

for instance if the crayon box gets spilled and she starts to tell you the goldfish  or a spaceman did it, get grown up serious with her and say " I do not appreciate that, (Name).  Its not a big deal we're just going to pick them up but you didn't have to lie to me. why did you do that?"  She won't necessarily be able to tell you why, don't really expect her to but she can think about it.  Give it a minute then say next time you have an accident like spilling the crayons just say "whoops I spilled the crayons mommy will you help me pick them up?"  no big okay?

Answer 10

Children tend to follow others their age when in groups and sometimes bring it home.  If her behavior is not dangerous to her or others in the matter of telling these lies then act as if it didn't even get brought to your attention.  sometimes kids find ways to get attention through lieing because they see it works for others and their curiosity peaks so they figure hey i will try that.  Even at this young age kids are very intuitive and perceptive of there surroundings and how to get what they want.Try not giving the lie issues as much attention when you know there is no physical or emotional damage being done and it will probably slack off quicker than you think.  

good luck and god bless

Answer 11

Boy i dont envy you, I am actually curious to hear what others have to say as well, cause it seems like a common problem with fourth chidren. My fourth is only  11/2 and she is an angry little child, with constant temper tantrums and I can see her lying to get her way. Is it a fourth child condition?

Answer 12

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