MEN, how can do you determine if a woman wants to be left alone or is willing to be chatted up?

Question

I ask this because some of my friends and I were talking about how they will have their ipods on or are reading, yet men will chat them up...

While other men say they "know" when women want to talk...

So what do you look for?

Answer 1

My mom says don't talk to strangers.

Answer 2

Repeated eye contact is a sign for me.  A bored look on their face is a give away as well.

Answer 3

When she pulls a knife out.........

Answer 4

I feel like I miss out on meeting lots of women because they are so tired of being hit on by guys who hit on every woman. It makes me feel like I have to prove myself instead of just being myself. Really good looking women become distrusting because of all the lies they hear. Its really a shame and it makes me want to hurt the men that I see who make women feel like they can't walk around alone without being harassed.  

Answer 5

If I want to talk to a woman, I interrupt her -- unless it seems like a situation where interrupting her would be inappropriate -- and politely start asking questions.

What I have to say is more important than a music player or book. Now if she still isn't interested, I tuck the cheesy pickup lines away. But it's about trying to connect, not finding a good time interject for a stranger's favor.

Answer 6

that is a really good question and thanks for asking it. I also wanted to know...and I really enjoy reading what the men wrote, I like the guys best who don't approach strangers.

Answer 7

I look for someone who isnt listening to her ipod and who is not reading.

Any man who says otherwise is someone who is ether suffering from overblown ego or suffering from mental illness

Answer 8

I go on the assumption that all women will reject me, so I don't try. Reading women is just fraught with danger.

Answer 9

Usually the very fact that she is wearing an ipod in of itself implies that she is using it as a way to try to avoid people. Only the most determined guy will try to speak to a girl who is wearing one.

It's trial and error mostly. If we see a woman that we like, we will ask her a question and see how she responds (usually a question as to where she got her ipod). If she pulls out her earphones and sounds angry or impatient, then she obviously wants to be left alone.

Before you speak to her, it is hard to tell if she wants to be left alone or not. If she is frowning, or sitting in a corner with her back to the room, then she probably isn't in a mood to speak to anyone. If she is singing, or dancing slightly, then she is in a good mood, and isn't really concentrating on what she is reading.

You might like this article:

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"Are you too Intimidating?"

There's a fine line between self-assured and intimidating. Is it possible that you come off to others as unapproachable?

...So when they’re out there in the dating wild, men are looking for any sign of encouragement to indicate that it’s safe to make an approach. And while many will be drawn to a woman who exudes a certain amount of confidence, there’s a fine line between self-assured and intimidating. What you may need to work out is whether you come across as a poised, confidant woman, or as just plain unapproachable. It could mean the difference between dating and intimidating...

...To begin with, think about what your clothes say about you. The way you dress can speak volumes, but be careful about the story your clothes are telling. You want to feel comfortable and confident, but if you dress in a way that’s too overt and revealing, you may attract the kind of attention that you don’t want, while inadvertently scaring off the kind that you do. It may be something as simple as the difference between being sensual and sexual, but take a long, cold look at what you’re wearing before you leave the house, and think about the partner you’d like to see yourself with...

...Try engaging the room as you walk in, casting your eyes around and welcoming it with a smile. If you’ve got your nose stuck in the air and your eyes squinted into the distance, you’ll look aloof. If you put out a “can’t-be-bothered” vibe, people will do exactly that – not bother.

Next, once settled into a cozy corner, it’s important to continue to engage with your surroundings. A little eye contact can go a very long way, a half-smile even further. If you’re with, say, a girlfriend, and you’re sitting with your backs to the room, singularly engrossed in each other’s conversation, you’re far less likely to get approached. This is perfectly fine if you don’t want to be approached, but if you’re hoping to get a little bit of outside attention, play to the room. Show your warmth, flash your smile, uncross your arms and give the room some love...

Answer 10

The iPod in the ear is always a clue they are looking to be chatted up :)

I usually look for eye contact. More than one glance and you make your approach.

If they then look away and try to seem interested in something else, I stop and tie my shoe while acting like that was my intention all along.

Answer 11

If they seem totally absorbed in what there doing then I will mind my own business pretty much.

   But if she is reading or messing around on her cell phone casually while looking around then it is usually a good time to strike up a conversation.

Answer 12

Eye to eye contact.

Answer 13

I just talk to friends of my friends. I rather not talk to random women.

Answer 14

I have no idea.   The only relationships I've been in started as friends.

Though I'd assume that if they're listening to music, or reading then they don't want to be bothered, I know I wouldn't want to be.

They glancing over thing is that real, because I get that a lot, and assume that I just have something in my teeth.

Answer 15

I look for eye contact and body language (like a smile or an opening gesture)

Answer 16

I usually don't approach a woman untill she shows interest.

Answer 17

Feedback. No feedback = "Leave me the f*** alone."

Not saying it's right, but that's what I do.

Answer 18

You have a gut feeling, if someone isn't approachable in your opinion, she probably isn't, Same goes for approachable.  

Answer 19

the only real way to find out is to talk to them, if they respond positively, then they want to talk, if not, I leave them alone. easy.