MEN: do you resent feminist women? Would you want one as a girlfriend?

Question

I am a feminist. By this I mean I believe in equality for the sexes, and do not believe this has been achieved. The Media's treatment of women, traffiking, prostitution, strip clubs, unequal pay, these are some of the issues that worry me greatly and a large part of my life is dedicated to supporting women and trying to change things. I DO NOT hate men, but I don't think I could have a boyfriend who did not at least accept, if not understand, why these issues anger me so much. How many men out there want/have a feminist girlfriend or wife? How does it affect you? Do you believe your relastionship is stronger for being more equal?

Answer 1

Had a feminist wife.  Operative word is HAD.

Answer 2

I would not be against having a feminist girlfriend at all. However, I would not agree completely with them, I feel like you can either be equal across the board or you can accept some differences. I'm not saying this about you, but most feminists I know want to be treated better but still want to be taken care of too, you can't have the best of both worlds.

A feminist who truly wants equality and not just to have things be easier on them would be a fine wife or girlfriend. I would prefer someone who at least believes strongly in something and is intelligent.

Answer 3

All of these issues you mentioned are imaginary. This "unequal pay" lie is really getting old, the myth has already been busted repeatedly.

If anyone has been used, abused, mistreated and exploited it is western men.

Answer 4

i see both sexes as equal but wouldn't want a girlfriend who keeps banging on about it.  I respect feminists but loathe those who are changeable for their own convenience.

Answer 5

Okay. you are a feminist. STOP. By that you CAN'T believe in equality for the sexes because it's clear & has been documented time & again, a feminist IS a SEXIST, Period.

Answer 6

I would not mind

1) A woman smarter than me

2) A woman taller than me

3) A woman with a better job than me

4) A feminist

as long as she treated me equally ( with allowances for different moods that are part of being a woman) too

I had a feminist girlfriend and I didn't really understand what she wanted as everything seemed to be a stand of principle with her, but at the end of the day I was just getting through each day , day by day and couldn't understand her campaigns. Couldn't figure out whatb was up with her and in the end she dumped me. God I miss her:(

Answer 7

The word feminist instantly drives men off. Thats not to say that men today want women to be oppressed but instead its makes us feel that we are in for a perpetual headache.

My biggest concern personally with feminist complaints is the lack of personal responsibility and demands that are made. I'm a huge believer in shutting your mouth and making things happen.

So would i want one as a girlfriend? NO- I'd want a woman with inner strength and confidence in herself and desire to make her life and her future daughters life better without allying herself with "feminists"

Answer 8

I'll let you know when my wife tells me to.

Answer 9

I would think that a man who is confident with himself and comfortable with his sexuality would not feel insulted or even threatened by a feminist.  You can always tell who the insecure, tiny men are when they start dumping on feminists and describing men as being superior.

It's hard for some men to admit they are wrong.  That's like trying to teach a pig how to sing.  It's a waste of time and it just annoys the pig.

Oh, well - you can't polish a t**d.

Answer 10

My partners have all been strong minded independent women, you might define that as my being with feminists but i disagree because this kind of woman has always existed.

I support equality too, but the feminist mind/ideology/political agenda often does not.

I have most respect for women who are feisty and strong who are also smart enough to see where feminism is going wrong.

I second James above me, feminism has taught many women that it is correct to feel entitled to have it every way and that is a problem.

If a woman is preoccupied with measuring equality, victim hood, dominance and control, well, she has some problems and i would rather not entertain her beyond a one off sexual encounter.

You mentioned prostitution, do you really think that men suggested that women put a price on their sexuality? How would men benefit from that idea?.

Trading s*x for personal gain is that something females have always done. think about it the next time you bat your eyes for some personal gain.

Answer 11

I don't think I could. I think ALL feminists are ignorant. Why? They don't realise that there are ups and downs for both sexes, and that is something that ticks me off. We need to fight for the better of the people as a whole, not on gender, race or sexuality!!!!!!

Answer 12

The answer is yes, all men will resent feminist women. Even the ones that are pro-feminist! because they will get so involved that they will want to point out to a woman what is right or wrong, and  resent her if she says that it is her territory. did you notice that almost all the answers you have received didn't mention any of the issues you posed in the question? the all concentrated on the power issue within the relation ship and not the issues of pornography or prostitution. I lived  with a man who read Dworkin, but also was an avid pornography consumer. He didn't see anything wrong with it!

It is true that both of the sexes suffer under the current heterosexist society order and that the idea of femininity might be equally oppressing to women as the idea of masculinity is oppressing to men, the difference is that most men draw their sexual pleasure from the sexual difference. The inequality becomes the drive of sexual desire.

For me personally men and living with men is NOT COMPATIBLE with feminism. That doen't mean I am not friends with men, but in the contexts of a heterosexual relationship even the most "broadminded" men star re-enacting oppression. So in a way I don't see men as THE problem, rather the heterosexual dynamics of life and oppressive gender roles.

Answer 13

Look at what the bible says about marriage, yes, you can have a feminist for a gf and s*x, but not as a wife.

Answer 14

I rather resent women who traditionally believe that a woman´s place is in the kitchen, and a man´s role is to bring home the bacon, and who believe that by nature he has to lead the family while she will submit to his protective guidance and as a matter of course take his last name in the marriage.

Women are becoming much better educated and much more confident in our present society.  But equality will only be reached when women are catching up, when it is considered normal that a woman  is taking the lead when she is smarter and more talented than her man.  It is also working the other way round.

I have always been attracted to strong, intelligent and confident women.

Be sure: there are men out there who are not scared of dating a feminist woman (even a radical feminist) or to be in a loving (and supporting!) relationship with her !

However, I never liked too much ideology. Practising common goals in life is much better.

Answer 15

My very first lover was a "feminist".  It was really awful because she was truly ugly inside.

Answer 16

I do not advocate equality but I do advocate equity between the sexes. It is equitable for men and women to have the same rights since equity means everyone is treated fairly and impartially but not necessarily equally since equality is a possible outcome of equity and is defined solely by that outcome.

I do feel a bit of animosity toward those who believe that men and women should be equal since it may not be fair or just i.e. equitable that this should be the case. This works both ways, women could have more or men could. For example if one individual is paid more for working harder this is equitable but obviously unequal. However, if two people are paid the same for different amounts of work this is equal but inequitable. You can see the conflict?

The first wave of feminism was about equity since it wanted men and women to be treated fairly and impartially. However, the second wave saw that equitable treatment did not lead to the desirable equal outcome and men occupied more high positions for example so they changed tact and pursued equality which means rejecting fair and impartial treatment (equity).

Edit: So those who gave thumbs down don't think we should all be treated fairly?!?!? :S fair enough... just to be clear this applied to racial issues as well

Answer 17

Sorry, but I think that you would drive me nuts. You are cherry picking areas where you think women are still disadvantaged, but ignoring areas where men are clearly disadvantaged. eg. Family courts. In any event, men and women are not the same, and why should the sexual equality always be discussed mainly within the context of employment?

I honestly don't think that feminist zealots are particularly concerned about the lot of ordinary women. They are far more concerned about attacking men, using their supposed good deeds for ordinary women as an excuse. I am not surprised that girls feel that they have to support feminists, after having been brainwashed by feminist teachers.

As far as prostitution is concerned, the vast majority of prostitutes are not forced into it. Moreover, it is the male s*x drive that is being exploited, ergo, it is men that are being exploited.

Finally, I don't think that you will ever be happy being a feminist who is always on duty. Most men will be turned off, because indirectly, you are insulting them, and trying to control them by insisting that they play your game as well. Also, equality of opportunity has become equality of outcome, using positive discrimination.