For all the guys out there engaged and stressed out getting cold feet as they put it. this might put you at ease:
Let me start with the fact that two months before the wedding there was the atom bomb of a disagreement and my future in laws that resulted in a further distance of the ever longing relationship with them. Now as though knowing I would soon no longer be the bachelor I had grown so well to be was not enough stress I began to contemplate what the atmosphere would be like as we all would soon be tied together forever. I am most definitely sure that many men can relate to this topic!
The week of the wedding after all the planning; came the final preparations, this was what I thought would be the peak of stress as I knew I would soon face the ultimate “end of freedom†as most single men would describe. Every moment of each day this week all people I came in contact with asked “are you nervous? Are you scared? Do you have cold feet yet? Now understanding that before I met my wife, I always said that I would NEVER get married these questions did not help. Do not get me wrong; I did not for a second at any moment doubt whether she is the one for me however, as a man I could not help but let the fears of manhood rise to my thoughts.
The eve of the wedding day I can say was the most nerve wracking heart throbbing night of my life as I lay in bed tossing and turning attempting to swallow my stomach back into its place. I talked myself into finally going to sleep and focusing on the fact that I knew without a shadow of doubt I was making the right decision, I told myself everything would be ok no matter who was there or whether the relationship with my in laws was what I wanted it to be. Self assuring that I would be strong and not cry to enjoy this moment with our friends and family the next morning, was no match for the breath taking moment I would face.
Saturday morning arrived no sooner then what seemed like just closing my eyes; with confidence in my step I attempted to relax, eat breakfast, watch a little TV and then graciously ease myself in my tuxedo to head to the church. Notice again I said ATTEMPT because it was the longest morning of my life I could not distinguish whether I was going to throw up or pass out. I arrived at the church, stepped into my place on stage in front of a room of friends and family feeling confident that I was going to get through this no problem and when all was said in done that the only difference would be that I would have to get used to wearing a ring on my finger. WOW! I was completely wrong; nothing could prepare me for the moment that followed. I watched as my best man, groomsmen and the bridesmaids made their way to the stage still standing confident. The ring bears and the flower girl made their way, the doors closed in preparation for my bride as I took a deep breath thinking to myself “I got this, no tears so far and it’s a quarter of the way done.â€Â
The Pastor asked everyone to rise to their feet in anticipation for the bride, the wedding march began to play yet still the doors were closed. Yet in a moment’s notice those doors opened, my heart dropped to my feet I could feel my stomach in my throat again and suddenly I was floating on a cloud starring at my angelic bride across the room with no one else existent. There are almost no words to articulate this feeling; every thought, situation, confusion or stress dissolved away leaving my heart locked into her eyes as she walk down the aisle. I drifted towards her to take her hand and walk her to the stage; everything and everyone were surrounding us as we stood there lost in each other’s eyes committing, vowing and devoting our selves the other. When the pastor asked me to repeat after him in the reciting of my vows I did not even hear him speak; I stood holding the hands of the woman I would spend the rest of my life with mesmerized in her presence. Then it happened; I lost it, everyone in the world could have been witness but I would not have even noticed as my heart and soul began to shed its happiness.
Here I am twenty four hours later which may seem like a short period of time in comparison to all the years spent without knowing her but I could not ever for another moment be without her. In this moment of reconstructing our every thought, focus and perception of life I was not alone; my in laws and anyone who ever doubted our love also had a change of heart allowing for the connection that was should have been created from the start to mend and draw us all in for the purpose of creating a new life with new memories.
So for every man who thinks he is too strong or macho and has ever said “I will never get married†or thinks that marriage is overrated I challenge you to the ultimate expression of manhood and know that all other things will fall into the exact place they should be.
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