MIL wont pay "her own way" for a trip? serious advice.

Question

We had gone on a family vacation last year. When we went, it was clear that my MIL did not have the money to go. In the planning process, she had said if my mom adds her on, then she will pay my mom back the money owed, so she can pay for her own way in smaller payments. My husband and I paid for our own way, and my mom, her own way. Well, my mom added her on, with good intentions that she would be paid back from my MIL without a problem. Since the "planning process," a year from this past June, my MIL had NOT paid anything toward my mother. Now, my MIL says she can only "afford to pay my mom back $10 bucks a month." I told my husband a couple months ago, if his mom didnt have any money to go on the trip, then she should not have gone anyway, because my mom isnt exactly the richest person out there. My MIL needed a room, food, and everything else, because on this trip, she literally had very little money. I dont think its right that my MIL got a "free trip" out of my mom. I feel horrible about it because I am the one that told my mom if she would pay for his mom, then his mom would certainly pay her back for her part without a problem. Now, my MIL basically claims she has no money, blah blah blah. What do you think should happen? I thought about telling my mom about taking her to court, because she owes $2,000 for her part of the trip, but I dont know. I certainly dont think its right that she has treated my mom like that. SERIOUS advice please.

Answer 1

Does your mother have anything in writing from your MIL saying she would pay you back? If not, going to court will not help. The lesson to be learned from this is never loan money to friends or family unless you are prepared to never get it back. Also, when dealing with your MIL, if she ever wants anything from you or your family be sure she pays cash up front.

As far as what you should do now, here's what you say above:

"I feel horrible about it because I am the one that told my mom if she would pay for his mom, then his mom would certainly pay her back for her part without a problem."

Since you promised your mother that your MIL would pay her pack, you and your husband should make good on the $2,000 and try to get the money back from your husband's mother. Good luck.  

Answer 2

What does your husband say about this? If he is in agreement with you then you might want consider taking her to court. If she really doesn't have the $2,000 how is taking her to court going to benefit you? Whatever form of payment you take from your MIL be prepared for the aftermath and what consequences this could have on the family for taking her to court. Good luck.

Answer 3

This is a very delicate situation indeed. Taking your MIL to court may damage your relationship with her and her son - (did you get anything in writing?), but at the same time, she has got to understand that she cannot have her cake and eat it too (especially when that cake costs $2000!). I think in this situation, it is only fair that you give her warning. If you're brave enough, confront her and say something like, " We really wanted you to come with us on our trip and our understanding was that you would pay us back...in fact,my mother NEEDS her money back. If you lost $2,000, wouldn't you want it back?" If she starts giving to the "I don't have money excuse" say, "My mother doesn't have money either, and you shouldn't have gone on the trip if you didn't intend to pay us back. You're my MIL, and I really don't want to take you to court, but if my mother doesn't get her money back soon, you'll leave us no other option."

OR

You can sit down with your husband, his mother, and your mother and talk it out. That way there's no miscommunication. You should let your husband know how you feel...how you really feel. He is an important asset and may make a discussion between you and his mom a bit easier...(I know you're probably worried about making him feel like he is picking sides, but ask him what he would do in this situation. Odds are he would want his money back too)

Whatever you do, do NOT ignore her or be rude to her - you might as well kiss your money goodbye!

Next time, when someone tells you that they don't have enough money to do something, ask for half of the money upfront....with a written letter stating they will pay you back. Or don't invite them at all

Answer 4

that is not right AT ALL!  Judge Judy would have a field day with her!   Is there anyway you can make bigger payments to your mom and just have your MIL pay you back?  What a horrible thing to do!  I would never talk to my MIL again if she did that to my mom.