MMA wife who is a little torn

Question

I am the wife of an MMA fighter. I hate that he does this. I love MMA but have a really hard time seeing the man I love getting rocked in the cage. He loves it and I really want to support him, but it is so hard. We have newborn on the way and he has a full time job. (Military)

From his side- It is a lot of fun for him and he is really good. He has the potential to go far in the sport. I want to be happy for him and support him, but it is so hard when my heart is broken. I am afraid that he will get hurt- and no one likes seeing the person they truly love getting hit/punched/kneed.

Any points of view would be great.. especially those from MMA fighters or spouses/GF's of MMA fighters.

Thanks~

Answer 1

My wife hates watching me fight too - especially my losses.  It's hard to see a loved one get punched, kicked, etc.  But from your husband's side, he really loves it - I'm sure.  I say let him do what he loves, and embrace that part of him.

If you can't stand watching, leave the arena for that few minutes.  It's maybe 30 or 40 minutes a YEAR of actual fighting if you add it up.  And he should be totally safe training, so that's not a worry. You don't have to watch his fights, and there is a staff there that is probably more qualified to keep him safe than you are (referee, coach, doctors, emt's, cutmen, etc.).  He'll be fine, even if he gets cut or has some bruises when it's over.  

I have even let my kids (4 and 6 yr old) come to a couple of my fights - I won and I was a hero.  I lost one too, and guess what - I was still a hero!   Let your husband be a hero.  Supporting him makes you a kind of hero too.

Answer 2

Well I am the wife to a mma fighter also, and I completely understand where you are coming from. We just had a baby on June 25th and that was the most stressful time for me, but he only did one fight while I was pregnant. Any other time I am not to worried, I know he does it because it makes him happy so I am completely supportive. It is hard to see the person you love get hit in the cage but if it makes him happy then all we can do is support it. Black eyes and bruises heal, but if it is especially bad talk to your husband about it. Also when you go watch his fights make sure you have a good friend of yours with you it always helps me.  

Answer 3

The old saying is "Behind every great man is a great woman." I'd like to update that to "Behind every great person is a great lover."

As you probably know by now, being an athlete is mostly mental...or rather emotional. Not only do lovers play a unique support role for their athlete, but each athlete have differing needs from their lover. Some need more of a dedicated fan or confidant or coach or trainer or arm candy or someone completely separated from their work. I would say that all athletes need their lover to be each of those things in some way...so the trick for the lover is to be able to switch from one to another...and know *when* to switch.

You probably will have a different role:

-during non-competition training

-during competition training

-just before a match

-during a match

-just after a match

-recuperating after a match

I know it's tough seeing your loved one get hurt, but you probably have a role to fulfill. The best thing for your athlete is to do your job. That will likely help you get through the match.

Anyway, ask your athlete and his coach what they need from you during those different periods. They may just say "Nothing, but thanks for asking."; however, they might tell you how you can help them.

Hmmm, there are hundreds of books about nearly all aspects of sports psychology but none about how to be a good spouse/lover of an athlete. I think it could make for an interesting book providing critical insight on what makes an athlete tick. Maybe you two could get together, interview famous athletes and their lovers to see what athletes need from lovers, and write one.

Answer 4

sounds to me your a sour puss,

u dont have any understanding of mma and its

best for u , to quit complaining ( on yahoo)

i think u have to much time on your hands ,

Answer 5

My boyfriend is an MMA Fighter, and I have never been to any of his fights.  I know he trains well, and I know that he is good at what he does, but it's more of the stress on him when I am there.  So I choose NOT to go.  Maybe you shouldn't watch his fight.  Be there for him before and after, just don't watch the actual fight... there really is nothing you can do during the fight except get stressed out, and all that will do is add to his stress.