MOH more upset than bride by guests?

Question

My wedding is planned for October, the colors are Ivory (me), chocolate brown (MOH/only attendant), and gold (accent). We indicated on the invitations that the attire is "formal evening", we've had a few inquiries as to clarification. We told them we were hoping that they would dress as if they were going to a high class night out on the town at a fancy restaurant and everyone has been very excited about being able to get dressed up for an evening out.

We have heard through the grape vine that a couple of guests are wearing either chocolate brown or champagne gold. My MOH is extremely upset about this. She feels that they are stepping on HER toes by wearing one of the wedding colors and wants me to say something to them. I told her that I was just thrilled that they weren't wearing jeans and sneakers.

Are the guests wrong to be wearing these colors?

There is no way that they didn't know what the wedding colors were.. 1) it's a very small group of guests

2) the invitations were hand made with these specific colors

While I want her to shine in her way next to me, I also think that she may be over reacting.. what do you think? How should I handle this? I just don't want to sweat the small stuff and come off as a bridezilla.

Answer 1

Your MOH is way overreacting. Guests should not wear white, but they can certainly wear the wedding colors. Chocolate and champagne are VERY popular colors for evening wear - I'm sure it has nothing to do with dressing to to match your wedding.

Your MOH is going to be dressed up in a beautiful gown with her hair done and a lovely bouquet. Everyone will know who she is, even if Aunt Susan is also wearing brown.

Tell her to chill out. Your guests can wear whatever they please.

Answer 2

she's pretty lame tell her to chill out

Answer 3

I say just let your guests wear that and not say anything. After all, like you said, you should just be happy they're not wearing jeans and sneakers. Discouraging them from wearing what they have picked out would hurt their feelings, and probably tick them off. Yeah, they shouldn't be wearing the wedding colors, but it's not worth the drama it will cause to say anything.

Answer 4

Tell your MOH to chill out.  Everyone will know that she's the MOH because she's standing up there with you and is the one with the bouquet.  Does she really expect you to call your guests and demand they wear different colors?!  Those are lovely colors and very appropriate for a fall wedding.

Best of luck to you!

Answer 5

I would say, tell her to get over it. There won't be any doubt at the wedding that she's the MOH, and she needs to chill-lax.

You specified that the guests needed to dress nicely, and that's what they're doing. If you didn't say "don't wear ivory, chocolate or gold," then it's pretty silly to make that a rule at this point.  

Answer 6

She is totally overreacting!

Even though the invitations WERE made with those specific colors.....I mean...c'mon.  Truthfully, when I get an invite I don't sit an analyze it and think...."Ok, they are having chocolate brown and champagne as their colors, so I better not wear those."

My daughter-in-law had chocolate brown for the dresses (bridesmaids), but also loves pink so she had her invites in pink.  So, sometimes the invitations are simply a personal choice of color and style.  They don't always dictate what the "colors" of the wedding are going to be.  

As a guest, I pay NO attention to the color of the invitation.....period.

Yes, she is overreacting.  It is nice to have a formal event, and it sounds like your guests are complying with that request.  But to tell people what COLORS they can wear....well, that is going into "bridezilla mode."  Don't even go there.

Answer 7

By puting the colors on your invitations you've subliminally asked your guests to wear these colors. She has no reason to be upset or to upset you with her opinion on the matter.  It is not her day it is yours.  Personally I'd be thrilled to see people wearing my wedding colors.  If it were culturally acceptable I would have asked everyone to wear my wedding colors at my wedding.  How cool would it be if all attending were wearing your wedding colors?  I'd loved to have had photos of people doing the crocodile, toasting me, dancing, crying, hugging and all around having a great time at my wedding all while wearing Navy Blue and Teal :)  It would be like having the largest wedding party EVER!

Answer 8

I am sorry, but your MOH needs to chill out!  My colors are chocolate brown and pink and when people saw those colors on my invitations, they looked for clothes in those colors.  It made me happy that people would want to participate that much in my wedding by matching my color scheme.  

Now if someone showed up the exact same dress as the MOH, then I could see there being a problem.  But she cannot dictate what color other people are wearing to YOUR wedding.

I agree with you - be happy that they are even following your dress code.  I am sure that your guests are not sitting at home thinking of ways to step on other people's toes at your wedding!

Just sit her down and let her know that you don't have an issue with people wearing the wedding colors and that it is yours and your fiance's day and she doesn't need to worry about what other people are wearing.

Answer 9

The guests are not wrong for wearing the colors of your wedding party.  They more than likely choose those colors to pay tribute to you and your soon to be spouse and honor you.

Tell the MOH that you feel honored that some guests are dressing in the wedding colors (as long as it's not ivory, right).

Answer 10

It is not wrong that they are wearing those colors.  Tell your MOHzilla to back off and chill out.  Do not say anything to the guests.

Answer 11

No matter what colors your guest wears no one will outshine you or your bridal party.  That is the focus of the day so your MOH needs to relax and get over it lol.

Answer 12

I do think she is over reacting.  It's a fall/formal wedding.  Not many colors to choose from there to dress up in.  Also, a guest is not going to out dress the wedding party.  At least I would hope not!  If they do, that's just rude on their part.  She needs to realize this.  And it's your day anyway!  She should be trying to make it as stress free as possible for you, not causing you more headache.  IMHO I think you should just let her know that it doesn't bother you, that your not sweating the small stuff and tell her to chill.  Reassure her (even though that is suppose to be her job!!) that none of the guests will look more beautiful than her.  Only you!  Good luck-it sounds like it will be beautifull wedding!

Answer 13

It's you're wedding speak up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...

Answer 14

Tell your MOH that you need her to help you stay calm and happy, and she is just creating drama for you. It doesn't matter what the guests wear.

Answer 15

guests can wear any color but white.  it's kind of gauche for women to wear a dress the same color as the bridesmaids, but usually they have no way of knowing what the wedding colors are in advance unless they're close to you.

Answer 16

MOH, she needs to get over herself. This is not HER day, there is no reason for anyone to avoid the colors of her dress. You've requested evening formal wear, in other words tuxedos and cocktail dresses. Brown is second only to black in it's popularity in cocktail dresses and what, she expects you to ban gold jewelry?

Many women guests co-ordinate to the wedding colors especially for a formal wedding, I wouldn't be a bit surprised to hear that most of the guests chose earth tones in order to not clash with the decor..  

Answer 17

Yes, your maid of Honor is completely overreacting!  So people are wearing similar colors, who cares.  I would find it flattering that people enjoy your colors so much that they want to wear them also.

Answer 18

The only color off-limits when attending a wedding is white, after that, everything goes.

Brown and gold are not colors that are off limits just because your one and only attendant is throwing a hissy-fit over it.

This is ridiculous. After this, I've officially hear it all here in Y! answers. Gosh!

Tell her to grow up and to get over it.

Answer 19

people need to CHILL