MY BOYFRIEND'S FAMILY IS DRIVING ME NUTS!!! HELP!! ?

Question

my boyfriend is the oldest son in the house. everyone in his family, his mom, his mom's bf, his little brothers all rely on him on things from writing a check to booking hotels and rentals cars that my bf himself isn't even going. So basically he's taking care of many of the misc. stuff in the house. also my bf have no problem to pay for their bills such as dinner, phone bills, sometimes even their gas bill. He gives his mom like more than 500 of montly allowance, and his bros have no problem to ask him for gifts, even when i'm sitting right next to them. And i'm suspecting that my bf is hiding info from me about how he's spending on his family. I go to all their family birthdays and graduations. I did my part to buy them presents, but in return i don't even get a card. My bf been talking about saving up to get married, but I'm thinking how is that gonna be possible when his priority is his folks and not me? I feel that i'm not gettting the respect from his family at all.

Answer 1

His family don't have to pay you any respect  just because your his girlfriend.  Who knows, maybe their this way ,because they have seen him with many girls!

It's not up to you either to buy them gifts and things, until your family.  

He seems to love his famly.  May be if you feel so neglected, you need to find a bf who doesn't have family  so your number one.

Answer 2

The best thing you can do is talk about it.  That's a very important key in any relationship.  Communicate with your partner.

Answer 3

So....if he takes care of his family, it means you're getting the S**t end of the stick? How selfish.

You're right, you should not get married to him. It is obvious the two of you have very different values. He takes care of others and you take care of yourself.

Answer 4

Well...talk to him about this.  If you get married move far from his family, not too far, but far enough so daily visits aren't possible.

Answer 5

Your boyfriend's family is HIS family ,not yours. How he spends his money and on who is NONE of your business, you are just his CURRENT girlfriend. Geez, whiny self indulgent children, looking to be the centre of attention just drive me nuts.

Answer 6

either learn to live with it or dump him. cause family comes first sweety. your boyfriend is doing the right thing.

Answer 7

doesn't it drive you nuts!!!! My boyfriends mom used to do that...but once we became more serious that ended and his brothers still to this day give that woman money.  I don't think your getting disrespected, i mean apparently he's been doing this for a while and you can't expect them all to stop asking him for things. and it's not them it's your boyfriend that allows himself to get taken advantage of. if he's talking about getting married then let it be. Don't start assuming it's not possible because he's giving them money, just let it go and go with it . You should be grateful he is as caring and generous as he is towards his family which should give you a look into the future that when and if you have children he will care for them a great deal and always make sure they will have what is needed.  

Answer 8

You need to talk to your bf and not complain. Talk to him and tell him your concerns. Let him know that taking care of his family financially is not something you are willing to do. But you will have to realize that it's not going to end overnight. And if you think his family have no respect now they really won't later.

You can ask him to limit the amount of money he gives to his family but you have to realize the dynamics of their family is not going to change solely because you have a problem with it. It is possible that you and your attitude toward them are part of the problem.