MY SON 15 WANTS TO LIVE WITH HIS FATHER? ?

Question

MY SON 15 WANTS TO LIVE WITH HIS FATHER? ?

My Son,

he is 15 now ,wants to stay with his dad for good.

He does not get along with my husband and me ,because we had problemsin the past i was yelling and didn't know how to raise him in a balance way and my husband not his father was not very nice, the older he got the more my SON became angry and told use how mean we where ,when i say i love him he does not believe me and so on .I have changed ,and no matter how much i try, i can`t reach him .

i am very ashamed of it but i cant` change the past now he wants to live with his dad ,who has never been there for him .

I know that i was not the best Mom ,but i tell you this,this is what i knew how i was raised.Of course, now after so many years finally i realized that was wrong i understand now WHAT i`ve done .If he wants to live with his dad it`s OK ,iam OK with that but i don`t want to change custody let him stay for a while than if he want`s to come back i want to be able to have still primary custody .

I want to do what ever it takes for him to be able to come home i owe him that, and if he dosen`t than it`s OK as long as he is happy that will make me happy.

I will be sad i will see the judge in Sep 08 i just want to know would the judge be OK with that or HOW i do you ask the judge .Thank you

I know my foults as a parent ,

to sad i would want it that somebody would if told me befor my son was born i would give anything for that but sadly it took me very long to get it, that my way and my parents way was not good .

i cry , i cry, i cry and as a child growing up i cryed

never,i was close to my mom , my mom never was close to me.

look what my mom did to me that`s how i was to my son now he hates me for a good reasons i fell very bad "enough " the cycle has to be broken .....................

EVERY HELP, I THANK YOU ALL

Answer 1

I think you, your son, and your husband needs a mediator.  Someone to be there so that your son can tell you how he feels in a safe enviorment.  He might need to go stay with his father for a while and you three can get some counseling.  When parents make mistakes they also need to learn that sorry isn't a band aide for the mistakes, just a beginning.  You have to give him space and let him come around on his own.  He really needs some help because whatever your problems are he will carry it on into his adult life unless you get some help.

Think about it and good luck

Answer 2

You know , to keep him from detesting you and your husband you should let him live with his dad.  You will miss him but in a long run it could strengthen your relationship.

Answer 3

tell your son that he can stay with his dad and let him go there. also let him know that you'll give up custody if he enjoys it there after one month.

also, does his dad know and approve of your son moving in with him?

it's good that you've realized your mistakes and you can't take them back... your biggest parenting mistake was letting yoru current husband be rude to your child. he had NO CLAIM whatsoever over your son.

you need to let your son have the opportunity to have a relationship with his dad, who hopefully will love him unlike you and your current husband.

Answer 4

I suggest that you not be afraid to go before the judge and tell him everything you just said here, and anything else that is relevant, and comes from your heart.

Have confidence that the judge is a wise enough man to know the difference between what your son wants, and what is best for him.

Have faith that things will work out.

Answer 5

If his father is a decent guy at all,works is not in trouble with the law, has a place to live, not on drugs etc.Then LET your son saty with him.He is 15 and needs a male role model.

It does not mean your son does not love you, it just means right now you cannot get along and the parents created this situation, not your kid, so let him go if the courts are willing to let him.

Answer 6

at your sons age the judge will weigh his desires. if there are no compeling reasons ie. abuse that would prevent his going there and his father is wiling they will probably let him. my question is normally this does'nt require court action. has his father filed for coustody? I can assure you you will not loose coustody of your son, if you have joint coustody you will likley retain it, if not  you'll get it. if he does go just ask for genourous visitation and let your son know you love and support him and that he can come home at any time. It will be o.k.and you can say anything you would like to the judge. I'm in court all the time, this is not a time to be shy. speak up and don't be silenced. say excuse me if it appears to be ending. if you have a lawyer and he doesn't pass on what you have asked speak up. be his mom and don't be intimidated