MY (ex) BF cheated. Need words of encouragement

Question

My BF and have been together for nealry 3 years. I am pregnant with his baby, and we have a one year old too. He took an out os state job last month and told me he would be moving me and babies down when he started receiving his paycheck. We talked everyday and night. He's been acting almost mean over the the last week and just told me that he met a girl online at plenty of fish that is thr ee years younger than him (she's 18). He's 20 something, I am 30 something. He told me that had s*x. It was a onetime thing. He said he just used her.. I feel completely blown away. Is it my hormone? I am confused. I am angry. I am sad. I am mystified. I am very. very disapointed. What can I do to overcome this. I have not been "broken up with" ever. He has cheated once before and apparently wasn't truthful when he told me he learned his lesson. We were planning on getting married. What can I do?

Answer 1

Dump him. Obviously, "once a cheater, always a cheater" is his motto.

March yourself to an attorney's office to get child support for your children. You are better off getting out of this relationship with your self-esteem intact and move on. There are plenty of good men out there...find one of THEM.

Answer 2

Seek help from a professional, not a bunch of yahoo answer junkies.

Set an appointment up with a counselor.

Answer 3

It is not your hormones.  Never should you feel accepting of someone cheating on you, even if you are pregnant.  This complete strangers advice is to move on.  If he has cheated before and claimed he learned his lesson and you forgave him, then he did it again.  That is not someone I would want to say I do to.  Do you want to have these feelings for the rest of your life?  I understand you have children together, but with that your children learn for you, the parents, on how to conduct themselves in life.  Do you want your son to think that cheating is acceptable or your daughter to think it okay to be treated this way.  I know that one is still in the oven and the other is only a year, but if you continue in the relationship and he continues in his ways this would be what you are teaching them is acceptable.  I wish you the best of luck.  The decision is yours and yours only to make.  If you think you can get past this and forgive him again and believe him in what he says then stay.  I just know I couldn't/didn't.  With that though, I didn't have children with my ex-fiance, but I can't say whether that would have affect my decision or not.  Again, I wish you the best of luck!

Answer 4

If he cheated on you "once" before why are you so shocked now? You can seek counseling but if he's not being truthful, what's the point? He'll simply say what the counselor (and you) want to hear and do what he wants.

You're in a bad situation (with a child and pregnant) but why make it worse by staying with someone you apparently cannot trust? See if family or friends can help you get on without him.

Funny. Not once in your comments did you claim to love him. Something to think about.

Answer 5

First thing you do is get tested for STDs and HIV/AIDS - just in case, the doctors can care for you and your baby.

I'm so sorry he's put you through this - hopefully you can get support and help from family and close friends.

It's just a matter of you making better choices from now on.

Good luck with everything.

Answer 6

honestly, you first have to control you emotions since you are pregnant, you don't want your baby to suffer when you get too stressed out. Now with your bf, clear things out with him, is he in or out of your relationship. It's not like i'm taking sides, even if he cheated with you(2 times) still clear things out with him, your relationship with him is not that simple, given that you have a kid and another one on the way. Try to call a friend a sister or your mom, ask them to just be with you fora while, since you are pregnant and at the same time you also have a son. But try to ready yourself of how your relationship with him might end up, you seem to be in a situation where nobody knows what will come next unless you straighten things out with your bf. i'm not an expert, I just want to help you in somehow. take care.

Answer 7

It seems to me that he is not ready to settle down. You should have a serious talk with him, I know you are pregnant and have a child but that's no reason to stick around if you are going to be miserable.  

Answer 8

This is really hard because there are children involved, but I think you should end the relationship,(It sounds like you have, but what I mean is not to go back to him). He's done it twice now so he obviously doesn't respect you or his family.

You have every right to be angry, sad, confused, and disappointed. These feelings won't be fun for awhile, but you're stronger that you realize and you will get through it. Talk to someone about it. Friends can be the glue that puts you back together when you feel like you're falling apart.

Being a single mom will be a lot of work, but you can definitely do it. My mother has done it for a number of years and despite all her hospital trips and health problems, she's still managed to hold everthing together. It can be done.

Answer 9

I'm sorry. The thing is he's behaving like any normal 20 something year old. Perhaps, he's just too young and immature for you and is scare of being tied down to an older woman and to babies. He has desserted you physically and emotionally.

It's time to wake up and smell the roses. He has moved on and holding on will only hurt you more. I'm sorry to be this honest, but it's the truth and you need to hear it.

Time to slap him witha child support suit and find someone that is family orientated and ready to commir to you and yoru children. I know that this hurst, but it will hurt you more tryimng to chase after someone that keeps ignoring you and treating you like c**p.

Good luck

Answer 10

Do your grieving for the loss, for having chosen to let a bum into your life, and for having been sucked in.  While you are doing that, you also need to file papers so that he must pay child support.  Find the best attorney available and lay the wood to him.  

Answer 11

Like my father said to me at one time.. "Fool me once shame on you.. Fool me twice shame on me.. Fool me thrice shame on both of us.".....Kick him to the curb, get child support and move on with your life. You do NOT deserve to be treated with disrespect.

good luck to you. :)  

Answer 12

talk to him.

Answer 13

hey chick hang in there you need to figure out what to do on your own the same thing happened to me only it was with my best friend of five years i took someones advise and abortd my baby and have never forgiven myself or any body else for that matter they say time is the greatest healer its also the best for knowing what to do so my advise to you would be have a long soak in the bath get yourself a big tub of icecrean put the phone off the hook and relax the sooneryou do it the faster youl make sence of things good luck x*x

Answer 14

OK, I just have to say this and I don't want to sound mean but you don't sound like a woman in her 30's. I just cant see a woman in her 30's asking a question like this the way you did it. But h**l, I'll bite, what you need to do, as I tell most people, is to evaluate how YOU feel about the situation. First, you have 2 children with this man, right there he will be in your life at least until the kids are 18 years old. Do you trust him? DO you think he will do it again? I am a firm believe that once a cheater DOESN'T mean he will cheat again. You have to sit down and speak to him and find out what he really expects from this relationship because if he will cheat just because he needed some, then that might not be the type of person you want to get involved with. If he will easily give into temptation like that after only being away from you for a month, he doesn't seem to have any self control. I cant tell you what to do. You need to figure that out for yourself. We don't know you, or him, so we are only hearing your side of the story. There could be so more to this story that you are leaving out for whatever reason, but my suggestion is to talk to him and then take some time to evaluate your situation yourself. Don't stay with a man just because you have kids together, that never works. He can take care of his kids without you.