MY motherinlaw treats my child bad and her biological grandchild very good. what can I do?

Question

I have two children & there grandmother treats them totally different . One is her son and my child, the other I had before I married her son. They are 7 & 3 yrs. I treat them both the same, but when we go over to her house she always has a special gift for the 3 yr old and nothing for the 7 yr old.She has made the comment twice that she dont buy anything for the 7 yr old because she doesnt like anything. This leaves the oldest in tears everytime we go there. My husband says that I am over reaccting. I dont think so. She just went out & bought all her other grandchildren all these new school clothes and brought them out and gave them in front of my 7 yr old, and nothing for her. What should I do?

Answer 1

You are not overreacting. I feel sad your husband doesnt get this.  What you can do is minimize visits and take your children where they are treated equally . You are the mom. You need to minimally expose your 7 yr old to that prejudice-Im not saying altogether since  the oldest needs to know reality of life, but why spend a lot of time with her. ? Let your husband go be with her if he objects.  If it makes you feel any better, this exists ( and I have seen it written up on this site)  with children who are ALL bio children of the grandparents too.

Answer 2

i think you should ask your husband to talk to his mother about this ! its not fair on your eldest child, especially considering that he/she will remember it more then your younger child . Explain to your husband that you are not over exaggerating and to watch what happens the next time . If he still doesnt get it then tell him that if he wants to visit his mother he can with her bio grandchild but that your not going to bring your child int and enviroment where she clearly doesnt feel loved (if she gets upset)

I agree with the person above that  your child will have to know about the "real" world but not at 7 , they are still only children !

See how things go and good luck with it .