Made an explicit joke about my wife, her father heard me, would I be best to just jump off a cliff?

Question

(First of all, I'm not literally going to jump off a cliff. Just trying to emphasise how much nobody wants to get put in this situation)

Hi well today we decided to invite a bunch of neighboors and family etc around for a BBQ and it was all going well, I was chatting to a friend who lives nearby and to cut a long story short I was trying to be funny and made a remark about my wife and oral s*x.

I hadnt realized her father was in ear-shot til I turned round to go back in the house and noticed he was standing behind me at the wall having a ciggarette and gave me THE most disgusted and angry glare anyone has ever given me. So I figure he did hear me. I don't know what to do cause he didn't confront me about it and he's never particularly liked me and I'm so embarrassed right now.

(Let me make it clear that I'm NOT some loser who makes a mockery of my wife behind her back, she would have laughed at what I said and often makes sexual jokes herself, otherwise I wouldn't have said it. I definitely wasn't saying it at her expense or trying to make a fool out of her or anything bad. I always treat her like a queen but despite her dad has never liked me cause shes his youngest child and only girl and he's always resented me but I'd say todays incident is just the END of any hopes that he'd ever get to like me)

Should I apologize to him or leave it never to be mentioned again? Advise me please anyone who can, and quickly.

Thankyou!!!

Answer 1

my take on the situation is

what ever you and your wife do is one thing your business but at no time should you be speak about you and her personal life with you friends or anyone else

and as fare as the father i would not mention it unless approached

what i would do it talk about it with my wife so maybe she can fix it  

Answer 2

Ask your wife and see what she says, she knows her father better than you do.  And then if she thinks that it will benefit you to apologize to him, then you should.  Maybe she should be there with you, so that he knows it was a joke and she can say it's okay to your father-in-law's face.

Answer 3

you married his daughter not him, if he liked you he may of dug you in the ribs and said "oiu that's my baby your talking about" and every one would laugh. Now though I would ignore it, as long as your wife knows what you said maybe she could say to her dad that is both of your ways that you tease each other and not to think anything of it!

Answer 4

I honestly think I would leave it unsaid.  Whatever you say to him, he sounds as if he will make something out of it that it clearly was not! He has a gripe with you, like far too many father in laws seem to do.  You appear to love your wife, treat her well and laugh, which is the most important factor of any relationship in my opinion.

Perhaps have a chat with your wife later and tell her what happened?  That way, if he ever tries to chat to her about it (making out you are joking about her behind her back) she will understand what happened and be able to tell him that she already knows and is not offended by it.

Good luck, I would act as if it had never happened.  You have done nothing wrong at all, we all have a laugh and a joke, especially with a group of friends round a bbq, and yes, we have all made sexual jokes about our partners.  Don't let the fact your father in law overheard, if he took it wrong, that is his problem and NOT yours.

:)

Answer 5

Definitely apologize.  He will appreciate the effort. He may think ill of you if you leave it unmentioned forever.

Answer 6

Just leave it. It's not any of his business and seeing as he hasn't brought it up there's no need to embarrass yourself further  

Answer 7

Couldn't you have condensed this to like, 5 sentences? I didn't feel like reading it, but thanks for the two points.

Answer 8

LOL LOL Tell her now - she can deal with him!!!! Good luck!

Answer 9

Tell your wife what you did and ask her what she thinks you should do. If what you say is correct, that she would have laughed at your joke too then she won't think anything of it either.

Answer 10

hahahaha........ sorry

Answer 11

No parent wants to know that their child even KNOWS  what oral s*x is.

So many people consider it dirty.

Don't mention it, hope he never brings it up and kiss *** as if there were no tomorrow.

Answer 12

Well I would say that you should probably leave it, and not say anything to the dad, the moment has passed, and if he hasn't brought it up he probably doesnt want to talk about it with you. Also I would say you should tell your wife what you said, and her father's reaction, and see what she thinks you should do. Also bringing it up could make it more than a little awkward on the off chance that he didnt hear you... Good luck! And dont worry, about the fact that he doesnt like you, and that you may hav ruined your chances of him ever liking you, if you've been married for a while, its unlikely he was going to change his mind anyway....

Answer 13

I do not care where or when... that kind of behavior, talking about it like you describe, is crude at best... it shows lack of respect for others and for self... you are probably correct about you father-in-law and his opinion of you... I agree with him... I am a father of a daughter... even before I came to God I would have found your words offensive... before I would have taken direct action you would not have liked if it I had been me overhearing such comments about my daughter.... and my daughter has heard my comments about such behavior...

keep you mouth shut and do not bring it up again... keep  the filth to your self and behave respectfuly in the presence of your in-laws

Answer 14

Awwww I'm sorry but your post made me smile....I think you sound adorable!Look, you could be Prince Hakim of the Golden Valley of Saigon, dripping in gold dewdrops....you ain't ever gonna be good enough for his baby girl in his eyes!

But....I would apologise yes.It will show him you have the maturity to want to be liked by him, that's admirable in itself.It will show him you're a gentleman and that's a good starting point.It wouldn't go amiss if your wife could put a good word in too!

Good luck.....I think there's more than plenty of men who have felt like this at some point or another!xx

Answer 15

You made the remark about his daughter, the cliff jump seems a reasonable idea!

Answer 16

She's you wife, so he must be aware that you've <gasp> seen her naked, even <double gasp> had s*x with her!!!

If he has a problem with you making a light hearted joke about s*x, then it's his problem for not allowing himself to let his daughter grow up.

I'd say forget it. Presumable he''l mention it to her mother & unless she's as uptight as him, she'll tell him not to be silly.

(in my experience, mothers are more sensible about that kind of stuff, having gone through the s*x questions with their daughters)

Answer 17

I would pretend it didn't happen and Carry on with life. He didn't like you before so nothing lost and as for it coming up later, not likely, as if he was going to do anything he would have done it there and then.

Stop worrying and move on.

Answer 18

You should be ashamed of yourself. It's clear from the tone of your question you might possibly have engaged in a sexual act with your wife! I implore you to apologise not just to her (begging for her forgiveness) but also her father, mother, grandparents still living - not to mention the neighbours and any pets.

And wash your mouth out with a large bar of soap you mucky puppy.

Answer 19

You should explain that to him and apologize to him and your wife. He is a guy and probably has done the same thing a time or two. Everyone does it men and women. If you really didn't mean any harm he will be able to tell.  

Answer 20

DUDE!  Have your father in law push you off the cliff, that’ll make him feel better about the whole situation.  

Other than that I totally agree with the others… tell your wife what was said and how it was turning out.  If she says not to worry about it then go tell your father in law some racy jokes about smokers.  If she’s offended by the whole thing then pull the old man aside and repeat what you wrote in your question’s description to him.  

Honestly, like the old f**t has never made an off colour remark about his wife… I thought that’s why people got married.

Answer 21

Blow it off, (pun intended) you two are the only ones you have to account for,, so don't worry about it. If she's not offended, everyone should be happy!

Answer 22

What goes on in your bedroom should stay in your bedroom.  I wouldn't say you treat your wife like a queen if you're making comments about your s*x life in public and whether or not she makes comments about herself is irrelevant.  I was married for 30 years and my husband would have never made a comment about our s*x life in public.  My father probably would have said something if he heard that, but the fact that hers didn't shows restraint on his part.  I wouldn't bring it up if I were you.  I'd stay away from him for a while and hope he cools down.  If he heard you he probably doesn't want to talk to you anyway.