Madonna w***e complex, what is the solution?

Question

My husband says he loves me more than he has ever loved any woman and we are best friends. We've been together for 4.5 years and things started out quite well. Now he says he has no attraction to me and has no interest in s*x. However, i recently found out he has been having phonesex with another woman he met online. Also, just prior to moving in with me, he was having one night stands which he describes as "rotten" and admits they were not satisfying, but he was attracted to every one of those women even though he says he would not have pursued a relationship with any of them even if i were not in the picture. He says there is nothing i could change about myself to make me more attractive to him. I am so confused. How can he love me so much and not be interested in s*x with me, but have s*x with total strangers? I love this man as much as he loves me and want to save my marriage. Does anyone have any suggestions? We have already talked about marriage counseling.

Answer 1

Do the counseling.

Answer 2

He is probably cheating on you cause men cant go without s*x.

Answer 3

There were red flags from the beginning woman....he was having one night stands prior to moving in with you....and you went ahead and allowed him to move in with you?  WTF?  There is nothing to be confused about....He simply doesn't love you...he doesn't even respect you....

Answer 4

i were not know sorry

Answer 5

If you already know he loves you, become the w***e that he would be interested in.  You dont really have to do anything just make him wonder.  He might not respect you as much but at least you will get some occasionally.

Answer 6

maybe he's a s*x addict, and you have low self esteem to tolerate what he's putting you through  you both need counseling.

me personally i would divorce him

Answer 7

Well do the counseling and see how it goes from their, but if it does not help then you should end the relationship.

Answer 8

Frankly, I would dump this rotter and let him chase women the rest of his life. But counseling never hurts and might help you come to this decision on your own.

Answer 9

I had a male friend like that. He said he was in love with this one girl. It didn't work out and he fell in love with another girl. They got engaged and during that entire time, he was cheating on her and still married her. I know he goes to work still flirty and I say all of this to tell you some people show you who they truely are. Some paople don't want to change and if you feel that you deserve better then mention that in counseling. I can't tell you to leave him but if he is bringing STDs into your relationship then consider your options. You want to live a happy life with someone who treats you like a queen, don't settle for less. Good luck.

Answer 10

Dear Lonely Wife:

Counseling is just the first step--changing someones feelings and or their behavior is a whole new ball game.  He married you and now because he's made a string of bad choices he is blaming you by saying it's because there is no physical attraction?  

Do not believe the hype.  He only loves himself!  He is being self-serving and inconsiderate.  This man would rather place your sexual health in harms way, his own wife, than to admit that he "sucks"--

I say this.....forget the counseling, tell him that it was great but you must move on.  Part of being married is having that sexual component--take that and communication away and there really is no marriage---on the surface especially.  Now when you dig deeper you will see another area that has eroded and that's trust.  No marriage can thrive without this.

Cut your losses and move on.....

Answer 11

In addition to marriage counseling, have you guys considered s*x therapy counseling for him?  He may be a s*x addict, which often times don't involve spouses.  Also, you say you love each other, but I didn't see anything about being in love with each other...it's a confusing emotion, but perhaps you have the misconception of being in love instead of just loving each other as best friends.  A marriage counselor could certainly help - it's a great idea.  Do it.

Answer 12

I am sorry, but I only think counseling works if he is truly committed to changing.  Also, can you ever get past the doubt you always have in your mind.  I know it will be hard, but I would really consider a separation at this point.  Good luck to you.

Answer 13

Your husband has an awful way of showing you how much he loves you by sleeping with other women and then telling you he was attracted to them.

I do not need to hear, nor do I need to understand any other excuses he says to you - like it was "rotten" or that they were not satisfying.

He's sleeping around, until he gets satisfied and then it'll escalate to a full on affair - or more s*x-prowling.

But I'm sure you have food on the table, the laundry done, the house clean, practically you're his live-in nanny.

Stop talking about marriage counselling and actually GET IT.  Your husband is going to need to talk to a therapist as well.  He's looking to be satisfied in all the wrong places, when he has had (up until he started sleeping around and phonesexing with people) a mature a committed relationship with you.

However, I still can't believe you want to be with this guy after all of this and knowing that he's really not going to change about the way he feels about you.  Hon, he REALLY doesn't love you, but he does LOVE the way you take care of him as his Nanny.

Answer 14

Leave him.. dont waste your time and tears on a guy like him!!