Maid Of Honor Problem! Help Please?

Question

Ok so my maid of honor and I had been bestfriends for a while and I decided to ask her to be my maid of honor in my wedding comming up in feburary. But I have recently changed my mind being that we arent close anymore, and recent exchanges with her where she has been extreamly rude to me about everything and anything.

I have already asked my sister to be my maid of honor instead but I dont know what to tell the other girl. I dont want to hurt her feelings but I really do not want her in my wedding party.

Answer 1

Try the truth, just like you told us. I had the same problem way back in '85 but the best friend is still one of the my very best friends in the whole world, all these years later. If she's acting out now she may not really want to be in the wedding anyway. And if she gets to upset, she might not be the same friend that she used to be... Good luck on your big day!

Answer 2

If you still want her in your wedding (its VERY tricky to cut someone out after theyve been asked) I would ask her to be your bridesmaid, because obviously family comes first and you would love your sister to be MOH. She should understand - afterall family comes first. If she doesnt - well then she has given you the perfect excuse to cut her out of the wedding if thats what you want.

If you cut her out of the wedding party, its likely you will be cutting her out of your life - unless you come up with a tear jerker reason, and not just "i've changed my mind". Unfortunately, if you've decided to cut her out of your wedding party,  there is no easy way to tell her this. If you still want to maintain a decent relationship with her, I would definately make up an excuse as to why not (e.g. I am only having 1 person beside me, my sister, however I would be honoured if you could support me still on my wedding day)

Answer 3

You need to be prepared for this to end your friendship - there simply is no nice, happy way to say, "Sorry, but I just don't want you in my wedding anymore." Her feelings are going to be hurt, and it might cause irreparable damage to your relationship. If you don't care about that, you can just be honest. But if you want to keep this woman as a friend, you should keep her in the wedding party.

Answer 4

tell her youd still like her to be a part of your wedding, but youve decided youd like your sister to take part as the maid of honor, and youd like her to be your first bridesmaid instead. explain how you overlooked how important it was to your sister, she should understand :)

Answer 5

well you have the easy explanation as to why she cant be your MOH because your sister comes first-she's family. however, taking her completely out of the wedding party might be tricky. maybe you can say a little white lie and tell her bridesmaids arrangements like dresses and stuff have already been made, so she can't be a normal bridesmaid, either. maybe you could ask her to read at your wedding (if its in a church) to get her involved somehow

Answer 6

I had a similar situation where the girl that was to be my MoH suddenly turned mean and snotty towards me, even going so far as to tell me that not only was she not going to be in my wedding, she didn't want to be friends anymore. This could be chalked up to pure jealousy, but my mother stepped in and saved the day. What you could do to "un-ask" is just explain that while you would still like her to be there for the wedding, explain that plans have changed and you won't be needing her as the MoH. Usually being up-front would work best, however, some dramatics may happen, especially if she's been nasty to you recently.

Answer 7

ask her to step down to being a bridesmaid. i'm sure she'll understand that you want your sister to be your maid of honor.