Maid of Honor Bachelorette Party Etiquette?

Question

I'm the MOH in my best friends wedding. For her bachelorette party there are 12-15 people invited. The bride has requested to go to Dallas and go to La Bares (strip club). It's not that expensive really, but we will have to be for gas, 3-4 hotel rooms, and I had thought about doing a package at the club so it might be cheaper for drinks in the long run. As the MOH am i expected to pay for all of it? Or can I enlist the help of the 5 other bridesmaids? I don't want anyone to be offended, but I definitely don't think I will be able to pay for all of this myself. Please Help!!!

Answer 1

Asking the bridesmaids to contribute is more than acceptable. They should be in on helping plan the party after all. However, asking the other guests who are not included in the wedding party to contribute isn't as they will simply be guests at the wedding and have not been asked to handle any responsibilities in regards to the wedding. I hope you all have fun at the party!

Answer 2

Everyone should pay their own way, and chip in for the bride.

Answer 3

You can ask for them to pay their own way, or part of it as you wish. It is their perogative to accept, or not.

It is not the bride's choice of where to go for the event, or what to do. It is the hostess's event, she can do whatever she wants. The bride can accept, or decline as she wishes.

So if you can't afford the whole bill, or if the bridesmaids won't divy  up the costs, then you can have something cheaper.

I would get the bridesmaids together, up front and as soon as possible, and lay it on the line. The bride wants this, I can't afford 12-15 people to eat, sleep and drink and provide transportation. So, everyone, we have a choice to make. The bride wishes to go to La Bares and stay overnight. If we do that, everyone pays their own way, and divides up the cost of the bride's costs, or we can  stay at home and have the party at... but still, everyone divides up the cost of the bride's expenses, and pays their own way. So, what will it be ladies?

I would tell all 12 of the intended guests the same thing, pay to go, or we will have to do something much cheaper at home, and you will still have to pay.

Answer 4

get a total for everyone for cover charges, gas money, food and drinks and divide it by how many girls minus the bride.  Everyone pays for themselves and chips in for the bride!

Answer 5

Being that you and the bride are "friends"- i think you can somehow let here know that you really don't have a lot of money-   whos paying for "your" dress and stuff.  Yes ask the other ladies to pitch in--- perhaps even the bride- because normally you don't go and spend the night afterwards you just go home--- unless you are rich!!!  you might could even ask her what she suggests-   she may not even be expecting you all to pay for everything--- she might alreayd be planning to chip in!!!!

Answer 6

Bachelorettes work the same way bachelor parties do: everyone goes out for a fun evening. Like any other fun evening, they pay their own way. The difference is that the MoH has selected places based on where SHE wants to take the bride for a good time, and everyone chips in to cover the bride's costs. Your friend, by selecting where to go, has (possibly) changed the order of how this goes. I'm not sure if you asked her for advice and this is what she said, or if she's trying to plan her own party, in which case you can suggest that this is her party she's throwing herself, and you will throw a more conventional bachelorette later. After all, who is going to plan an evening for herself that includes all the traditional ribbing that the bride-to-be has to go through?

Answer 7

You should have all the bridesmaids chip in.

I had 6 bms and 1 moh.. they all chiped in and I had a blast.

They gave me a Bridal shower in the afternoon & a Surprise bachelorette party in the evening.

Don't pay for it all by yourself b/c you will come out of pocket a lot of money!!!

Answer 8

you are the planner...not the entire payer. the bridesmaids need to chip in equally. i would say you guys are responsible for the "package" when you get to the strip club, decorations, & maybe breakfast in the morning. but make anyone whos attending chip in. so say you rent 3 hotel rooms at $100 each & it takes $150 in gas to get there and back. take that total divided by 15 (number of girls that attend) and you get $30.i would add in $5 extra dollars so you guys can get her a $75 gift card to VS or to a s*x shop. that way no one has to worry about a gift!

so just write on the invite "its $35 to attend. this covers gas, hotel, & gift" let them know the drinks and breakfast will be courtesy of the bridesmaids.

Answer 9

You shouldn't have to pay for it all yourself. Definitely ask for help from the other bridesmaids. You also might want to mention it to some of the guests that you are inviting. You could just say something like, "We have to pay for the gas, hotel rooms and drinks - so we were hoping we could get you to contribute a little bit." I'm sure that people wouldn't be offended. If I were invited to a bachelorette party I would definitely want to chip in. I wouldn't expect it to be a free ride for the gas, hotel, etc. The only person that shouldn't be paying anything is the bride.

Answer 10

I don't think you should pay for anything except for yourself.  I think the bride, if she had any integrity, would chip in a lion's share, since this is her request.  What is she expecting, that you are going to come up with all the money yourself, because she is such a queen?  Minimally, I think you discuss with the bride how this will be paid for, and she definitely needs to pay for herself.  Ask her if you should write on the invitations, something like, the budget for this trip is about $x*x per person, broken down to $x*x for hotel; $x*x for entry fee and drinks; etc.  And, ask people to make a deposit of the hotel room in advance when rsvping.  And, ask the bride to put her money down first, so that you can ensure that she will come along on the trip.  And, then you will see how many takers there are.  Young people have difficulty, you know, going away for an expensive weekend.  They don't always have the money, and for the bride to expect someone else to pay for her or her guests is ridiculous.  This is 2008 you know.