Major friend problems. dont understand.?

Question

okay one day my friend told me she was bi- and i promised i wouldnt tell anyone out of our friend group. so for me that meant that i could tell my cousin ,and i did,but what i didnt know is that my friend didnt accept my cousin in her friend group. and the day we met up in school she asked me did i tell anyone and i said no because i knew that my cousin probably knew from her, so my friend wispers to her friend that i know and no one else,all of a sudden my cousin yells out " i know it too!!!" which got my friend mad because apperantly my cousin wasnt suppose to know.

This was all done by accident and i could have sworn my cousin was going to find out through her, but it all went haywire and my friend is mad at me, i dont want her being mad because of me telling my cousin, its not like my cousin will tell. But my friend is still mad. what should i do?

best answer gets 5 star automatically.

Answer 1

To be honest, your friend has every right to be mad! You shouldn't have told anyone, she told you in confidence and it was up to her to tell who she wanted to know, unless she gave you express permission. I know you probably didn't mean to betray her trust, and the situation is all very cinfused, but the fact is that you did and now you have o make it up to her.

First, you need to talk to your cousin and make sure that she knows not to tell anyone else. This situation is bad enough without bringing other people into it. Tell her that she wasn't meant to know and you would appreciate it if she didn;t talk about it with anyone, even your friend unless she actually approaches her. You friend is probably uncomfortable enoughm no need to make it worse.

Next, you need to apologize to your friend. I am sure that you have already, and maybe you don't believe you did anything wrong, but her feelings did get hurt because of something you did. Tell her that you did understand you weren't meant to tell your cousin and you are so sorry that you didn't clear things up before you did tell her. Ask if there is anything you can do to make it up to her. I would also suggest bringing a small bribe, maybe a batch of her favourite cookies, because she needs comfort right now. Then just be there to comfort her. Tell her that she can talk to you if she needs to, and then leave it in her hands.

It might take some time for her to fully trust you again, but just stick by her and things will go back to normal. Next time, be careful to be clear about boundaries before something goes wrong.

Good luck.