Major issues with my almost 7 year old?

Question

My 7 year old has been out of control for a very long time now and it's so hard to deal with her. I've literally been through like 3 daycares b/c they can't handle her. No form of discipline works, The corner has no effect, time out is pointless, LIGHT spanking does nothing, taking away favorite tv shows/ entertainment doesn't seem to help. I can't find anything that will get her to listen. I don't expect her to be perfect but there is not one day where she is even remotely close to good. She's never been spoiled so it's not like she has a reason to freak out when told no. Anytime she gets told no, she freaks out, hits herself, throws things, If she does something wrong and I tell her to go to time out she screams and hollars and it takes her about triple the time to finish her punishment b.c it takes her a long time to actually calm down. I don't know what to do. It used to be that she would KIND OF listen to her dad more than me and now she is the exact same with both of us.

Answer 1

Awww you poor thing. Its hard to deal with a child that just wont listen.

I know you said the corner doesn't work, but have you watched supernanny?

Whist in the corner, you make no eye contact, dont talk to her at all.

If she is trying to get your attention, ignore her, as giving her negative attention is still negative.

Take things she loves away from her when she does something inappropriate. But stay firm, and dont give in!

Just read she has adhd. That makes things alot tougher. Medication generally works on most sufferers, but not on others.

Have you tried herbal supplements? Changing her diet?

These could help

Answer 2

My friend had 2 kids that were ADHD & ADD..Yes, they took the meds, but also had to stay way from any foods that had RED DYE #2...Read labels LOTS of foods have it in it.

As far as school goes, is she in regular public school? If so, this is gonna drive the teacher, the other kids, and you nuts.

Talk to the head of the school dist, and see about getting her in Special Ed..Your daughter will be evaluated and goals and plans will be worked up.And she can stay in Spec. Ed. untill she is ready to main stream.This can last untill Highschool..) also the teachers  know how to handle these types of kids.. and they have the PAITENCE.

Answer 3

hi,

A few weeks ago, I read an article about, bipolarity on children, mainly what it said, was that children with this disorder, are very often diagnosed with other things, such as ADHD, and treated with medicines which makes it worst. It also said, that this disorder has its basis on a part of the brain which controls emotions and keeps them balanced, so when bipolar children get mad, this anger grows and grows, and they lose this balance, their brains are not able to handle it, and then it is really difficult for them to calm down, the same thing happens with depression, punishment only makes it worst... I will lok for the article and see if I can find it 4 you. I am not saying that this is what it is, but it wouyld be great if you read about it a little to discard it or find out more.... The best luck to you. I ´ll go see if i find it... wait...

.... Yeeeee, I found it.. it is the first link, I´m posting on Source´s, then theres another one with bibliography.

Answer 4

As far as time outs they can work but it takes time and patients as far as taking things away that's really good but you have to stick with it and also make it where she earns them back with good behavior also try therapy she maybe going through something in which she doesn't know how to deal with it.

Answer 5

i have been having a lot of trouble with my 3 yr old. he does many of the same things. you dont even yell at him, simply tell him no then he freaks and hits himself, bites, tantrums, throws himself. then i stumbled upon some crazy website, many will call "new age balony" however i started reading and it made sense, simply google indigo children. i thought it was dumb, but kept reading anyway and came to an article about parenting an indigo child. i started using some f the techniques and already just four days later, there is an incredible change in his behavior. no drugs, no spankings, no yelling. so ill let you read and create your own opinions...indigo children...check it out

Answer 6

It sounds like you are beyond time out try as crazy as it sounds to ignore some of the behavior like screaming whineing at behavior that affects her only. If she is screaming she is trying to rattle your nerves and I bet it works. Stay syrong and do not aknowlege this behavior until she addreses you properly without yelling this will take true will power but not for long. Once she realizes that you stay in control she will not exhaust herself. Stay as calm as possible. If the task you want her to do (eating or bathing etc.) is not done do not let her do anything else. This puts you in control. This is good but she also needs her control issue validaded  so always give her 2 choices (you can do A or B but thats it). DO NOT LET HER DO ANYTHING ELSE. Make sure you always listen and ask questions about the situation so that her feelings are heard and then calmly explain why she needs to door not do the task ex. if you don't eat you will get sick and wont get to play outside. If she exsipits any violent behavior like walking out of the house hitting you or harming herself you need to as fast and as harse as you can get in her face and yell NO and that would also be the right time to spank her with your hand hard enough to shock her not hurt her. This is using association to train the brain to resist that action. Like when a child touches a stove the heat is such a shock to thier hand that they never forget the lesson.   I used to work in a daycare for kids with special needs and behavior problems and tested all of these methods (except spanking but that was used on me as a child) and is also used by pscyhologist.

Answer 7

Your daughter sounds exactly like my son.  He too was diagnosed with ADHD and had the exact reaction to stimulant medications.  Wigging out way worse than without it.  I thought I was going to go crazy.  People thought we were bad parents, the thing was my other kids were "normal."  I talked to one of my on-line friends and she said he sounded like he may have childhood onset bipolar disorder.  I didn't believe her, after all bipolar was an "adult" disease.  She recommended I read the book, "The Bipolar Child."  I checked it out and I swore they must have had my son for a model for that book.  The biggest "aha moment" came when they said these kids are many times misdiagnosed with ADHD.  The way they knew that the child was bipolar and not ADHD was the fact that the stimulants made them worse.  (What those meds do is cause the bipolar child to become very manic.)  Many people think bipolar children look like bipolar adults.  This is simply NOT true.  Children tend to be "rapid cyclers" meaning they can be relatively calm one moment and fly into a rage the next.  There is a lot more info that of course I can't list in this answer.  Let it suffice for me to say, after dealing with this for YEARS--my son is 10 and was finally diagnosed at age 7 but showed symptoms since he could walk--your daughter from what you describe she sounds very much like a classic bipolar child.  Please check out "The Bipolar Child" book.  I also list a couple websites below for you to refer to.   Also feel free to email me privately if you like.

I hope this helps.