Question:

Major problems with my father?

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Ever since I turned a teenager, my father had begun to strain our relationship. 3 years later, he still treats me like I'm a burden. It's gotten to the point where I've drastically minimized the relationship we used to have and have begun to resent him. Before I made that decision though, my life at home was very stressful. I was never good enough for my dad, no matter how hard I tried to impress him by constantly helping around the house, keeping straight A grades, and doing many other things that would impress "normal" people. He even called me names and put me down a lot. I can't tell you how many times I was called stupid, dumb, retarded, idiot, and even an a$$ (that's just the ones I can remember). I just couldn't take the verbal and emotional stress anymore. I have kept a respectable distance from my father since then, but the other night I heard him blaming me for the stress in his life. He was telling my mother that he couldn't accept the relationship we (me and my mom) shared. MY mom and I have a very special bond...we are very similar to best friends, except that I know and respect her higher authority and always listen to her rules. Anyway, my dad also complained that he couldn't accept that I couldn't get a job, even though I've been to multiple interviews trying to get one, acting like it's the easiest thing in the world to do. Does anyone have any advice for what I can do in this situation?

(I have tried talking to my dad already about my feelings and he just says they're stupid and selfish)

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4 ANSWERS


  1. Maybe he can come around soon  I know how you feel.Try to find something positive in your life and focus on that.he is an a** for putting you down.Don't let that stop you.You are probably a good person focus on the positive not the negative.


  2. I just read this and although I don't have an answer for you, I just wanted to tell you that I'm so sorry.  How painful that must be...  I've had a similar father-issue but it's too long to type out.  I just wish the best for you.

    I know it sounds extreme, but you've got to find someone (professional) that you can talk to.  Otherwise your feelings will definitely build up and this isn't good.


  3. stop the relationship ...he is ignorant /arrogant and will not change....unless u take family counseling..

    I had father  like that and now I have depression/anxiety thanks to him...

    ignore him...because he is the stress/giving bad memories etc..

    move out the house  

  4. Well the first thing that I want to tell you is that you should not be trying to please some one that you know will not ever be pleased with you right now.  I have a dad that sounds like is exactly like yours but instead of having a bond with my mom I had it with my step mom.  Right when I turned 18 I moved out and now my dad is missing me because he never noticed how much attention he would pay to me.  He calls me every day to come home but I told him I would not go through that again and I won't . Maybe he will come around like mine did.

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