Make me laugh the best you can

Question

10 points to whoever has the best joke, any type of joke, it won't offend me, just give your best!

Answer 1

A man from texas came to KY.to visit a farm. the farmer showed him his 100 acre corn field the texan said I have a 300 acre corn field so he showed him his 3000 cattle.The texan said I have 10000 cattle.The texan went to take a shower,before bed time ,the farmer sneaked out and got about 20 snapping turtles and put them in the texans bed the texan ran down stairs screaming with turtles hanging all over him and said ,WHAT are these .Whats wrong,don't you have any bed bugs in Texas;said the farmer

Answer 2

On Sesame street, they teach kids how to spell and count. But watching it as an adult, I started to realize that it teaches kids how to judge people. They have a character on the show named "Oscar". They treat this guy like s**t. Everyone would judge him right in his face and be like "Oscar, you are so mean. Right kids?" "Yeah, Oscar, you're a grouch!"

Oscar would reply, "*****, I live in a f#4king trash can! I'm the poorest motherf#$ker on Sesame street. No one helpin' me."

Answer 3

the easiest way to survive a day at work:

1. imagine the words "in my pants" after every sentence (even say it at the end of yours for additional effect).

2. imagine every single person with a beard. your imagination can malfunction if you encounter a pre-existing beard and imagine him wearing a santa outfit.

3. imagine what life would be like if it where a broadway musical (my boss is an amazing singer in my imagination!)

4. all of the above at once (prepare for a headache of apocaliptic proportions!)

have fun with life!

Answer 4

This guy was walking down the street and this hooker says, "Say, wanna have a good time?" "Sure," he says and they were off to the nearest motel.

She takes off her clothes and he keeps staring at her. She says, "Is this the first p***y you seen since you crawled out of one?" The guy says,

"Nope, just the first one I've seen big enough to crawl back into."

Return to

Answer 5

ha ha haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

hu hu hu huuuuuuuuuuuuaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

he he he he haaaaaaaaaaaaaa

ha ha ha he he he hu hu hu huaaaaaaaaaaa he he he

ha ha huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

phew! ha ha haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Answer 6

what do women and dog S**t have in common?...

the older they get , the easier they are to pick up.

Answer 7

two men are traveling and it gets late, they stop at a farm and ask to stay the night. the farmer says, "sure, you can stay in my daughters room as long as there's no fooling around."  the next moring the daughter informs him they were messing with her. when the men wake up the farmer says, "you have a long trip ahead of you, go out and pick 100 of your favorite fruit."

an hour later the farm goes up to the first man, who is picking cherries, and says, "now go behind the barn and start shoving them up your ***."

the man gets to 98, starts laughing and all the cherries fall out.

the farmer says, "i dont know what you're laughing about, you'll have to start all over."

the man gets to 99, laughs, and all the cherries fall out.

the farmer askes, "just what do you find so d**n funny?!"

the man says, " my friend is over there picking watermelons!"

Answer 8

Ok, just watch em you will laugh your head

off

theese are the best parodys ever!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7uSlqI1AV...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZOkF0McZK...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mj6QqCH7g...

theese are the best 3 (Iin  my opinion)