Make this letter professional?

Question

Dear Sir,

Thank you for sending me the revised Salary offer. I appreciate your cooperation. I apologize to inform you that the offer which your company is offering me is not acceptable for me. I would like to bring in to your attention that right now I am working as Safety Manager for XYZ Mega Project which include all the project in XYZ.

On this regards I want to inform you that the salary which I am receiving from my present job and the offer which you are giving me is not having much difference and this is . My Expectation is as given below and if you agree on my offer please send me the new revised Offer letter and I will accept the contract. Awaiting your earliest positive reply.

Answer 1

Dear Sir,

Thank you for sending me the revised Salary offer. I appreciate your concern and efforts. I regret to inform you that I am not in a position to avail the offer which your company is offering me as  I am working as Safety Manager for XYZ Mega Project which includes all the projects in XYZ.

The salary and perks I am being offered presently are more than your offers. If you consider my revised expectation which I have mentioned below and take appropriate steps in fulfilling the crieterion I would be highly obliged to you and consider the offer positively.

Awaiting for an your early response from your end,

Thanking you,

I remain,

Yours Truly,

abc

Don't I deserve good rating for my answer?If so rate it.

Answer 2

Dear Sir,

Thank you for sending me the revised salary offer letter. i appreciate your cooperation but i regret that i need to reconsider your offer.  Currently i am working as a Safety Manager which the salary is not much different from the salary that you are offering. I would appreciate and consider if you could give a raise to my expected salary. I am waiting for your response and will be delighted if you could give me the new revise salary letter after your consideration. Awaiting for your earliest positive reply. Thank you.

for me,  you dont need to mention your current employer.

hope it will help you to get the idea.

Answer 3

Maybe try what i have written below,

Dear Sirs,

Thank you for the offer of revising my salary.

     Unfortunately I do not feel that the current offer reflects my commitment to your company.

     I would like to bring in to your attention that right now I am working as Safety Manager for XYZ Mega Project which includes all of the projects within XYZ.

     The offer, as mentioned above, is not so dissimilar to the salary I currently receive, and I would appreciate that my current responsibilites are taken into account and a new review of my salary is considered.

     I anticipate a response regarding my request in due course.