Males around age 30: Would you want to know if you were adopted?

Question

If you, a male around age 30, had lived your whole life as one person... would you want to know that it was a lie? Would you want to find out that you were adopted and had a mother, a sister, and two brothers that you never had the chance to know? Or would you want to go on happily with the family you've always known?

Answer 1

I would have wanted to know.  I am adopted.  I've known for my entire life.  If I hadn't known, I would have wanted to be told.  Having found my first mom hasn't meant not continuing my relationships with my adoptive family.  I would be upset that it took until the age of 30 to find out.  But I would want to know.

Answer 2

Sure, why not.

Answer 3

I'd want to know. I'm not a male around the age of 30, but I'd want to know. I'd be angry that I'd been lied to my entire life, but I'd want to know.

Answer 4

If I asked somebody who knew I was adopted. Am I adopted? I would want the truth.

If they don't ask. Why tell.

Then, if they figure it out and ask, "Why didn't you tell me I was adopted?"

You can respond, "Well, you never asked!"

Answer 5

Yes you would want to know. My daughter is adopted and I told her since she was old enough to understand. It is your right to know if you are adopted or not. And if you know that you are adopted you have the right to know if you have brothers or sisters. Just because you want to know about your biological parents that does not mean that you love your adopted parents any less. Some adopted children’s wants nothing to do with their biological parents but for the ones that do want to know adopted parents should encourage them to do so. Many adopted kids were never told that they were adopted and only found out years later. That usually creates many problems with the adopted parents. The biggest problem sometimes is that adopted parents are afraid to share that with their adopted child because they feel they have to protect the child. If you just found out that you are adopted why don’t you try to find out the real reason why you were never told. And don’t turn against your adopted parents for them wanting to keep that secret. Always remember that they were the ones that were there for you all those years.

Answer 6

My husband is 28 now and has known most of his life that he was adopted. We have talked about this same thing in the past and he has said that he has mixed emotions about it all.  He has said however, regardless of how he feels he is glad that he was not lied to about it.

Answer 7

At age 31, I found out I was adopted.  I was upset but angry would be too strong a word for how I felt.  It's been 23 years, my adoptive parents NEVER admitted it, even after I knew.

Since you were very specific as to age and gender, I'm assuming you have someone in mind.

On other boards, we have discussed HOW to tell someone they were adopted.  There was NEVER a question about telling - it was just WHO should tell, and HOW.

The adoptee is an adult.  He may be married, and have children.  If nothing else, his family medical history is absolutely false if he is basing it on his adoptive family.

Are you in contact with a sympathetic member of his adoptive family or a close friend of his?  The consensus was to have that family member or friend break the news, rather than a blood relation who is essentially a total stranger.

Good luck!

Answer 8

I was half adopted when my mother remarried. I am 39 and was adopted by my step father at age 7.

To answer your question - I would want to know. I think adopted people suspect it anyway. I found out I was alot like my bio-dad even though he didn't raise me. I also do my best to not act like any of my parents.