Mama always said, "Respect your elders!"?

Question

My parents as always taught me to respect your elders because they are wise and would teach you things because they've done it all. I've always respect the elderly but to what extent? Today, I come across so many rude and inconsiderate elderly folks who thinks because of their age we automatically need to bow down to them (perhaps they are just old and bitter? I don’t know). I do believe that you should always respect one another even if you don't get the same in return. Then, again if a person is constantly rude regardless of age do you continue to give them the respect even if its not well deserved?

Answer 1

It's funny you ask this.  Just recently my bf's grandpa has been getting a little on my nerves and I think I was rude to him.  I didn't mean to, but he's just very nosy.  He wants to know everything and his opinion is ALWAYS right.  Well, we all sit there and listen most of the time.  But I draw the line when people ask me about my finances.  His wife takes care of my baby (for free), they adore my son to pieces and I feel I owe them the world.  But still that doesn't give him the right to butt into our business.  He's always commenting on the price of baby formula and why we don't ask for government assistance.  In my opinion, government assistance is for when you CAN'T afford stuff.  I am not one of those that will take advantage of our system and plus it's also a pride thing.  I don't make crazy money, but I work hard enough to buy my son what he needs.

I think I continue to give him my respect because he is family, but otherwise I don't think I would.  I understand what you say about some people "expecting" a certain type of treatment.  But Mama (and the bible) also said "do unto others as you would expect them to do unto you..."  And if I remember correctly there were no stipulations in there like age, s*x, race, etc.  I just make it a point to treat everybody equally, it's just up to them how I will CONTINUE to treat them.

Answer 2

To respect them means to not disrespect them or treat them badly, it doesn't mean you have to go out of your way for them, unless you'd like to.

Please treat all seniors with the dignity they deserve.  Some may deserve more of your effort than others.

Answer 3

There is an old saying, "If a wise man and a fool are standing on the street corner arguing, a passerby will not be able to tell which is which!"

Respecting your elders is more of a reflection on you than it is on them.  Being able to show respect, even to those who may not deserve it, shows the world that you have an inner quality about yourself that is above anything petty.  You should always respect your elders, and everyone else, for that matter.

Having principles means that you have an inner standard by which you conduct yourself, regardless of the actions of others.  Master that, and you have found the true meaning of inner peace.

Respect simply means that you treat them as you would like to be treated.  As the master of all things said, "Go and do thou likewise".

Answer 4

Are they being rude?

As people age they have a harder time hearing and may have difficulty processing things said quickly or with slang. So it is possible that instead of ignoring you, they may simply not have heard you. Instead of ignoring you they may not have understood what you said.

As people age they are less able to process sound changes. This is why older people often have the TV turned up very loud or very low. Vibrations can cause problems with their hearing and with their equilibrium (balance). So your loud, banging music may be physically uncomfortable to them. Not because they want to keep you from rocking (remember they were the ORIGINAL rockers) but because the beat and volume may cause them pain.

As people age they process movement slower. This is why if you throw a ball to an old man, he may reach out to catch it after it has already passed him. So when you move quickly, or walk fast, or talk with a lot of hand gestures, it is hard for some older people to process. Someone waving their hands around can be scary.

As people age, their vision is affected. They may be unable to see clearly or they may become super sensitive to light. Is that guy squinting because he is being rude or because he can't see you very well or the light hurts his eyes?

Perhaps they are in physical pain. Getting old sucks and it is tough on your body. If you are in pain, you aren’t going to be a bed of roses to deal with.

And as people age they cling to the familiar (this will happen to you too) and may find new things more frightening and sad. Most people maintain the mindset of values and social customs that they developed in childhood or in early adulthood. I am sure that you can see that for someone raised on very strict boy/girl behavior and socially acceptable morays, today would be frightening and would seem like a Bible revelation come to pass. Can you be surprised that Grandpa is outraged at girls who dress like Brittney Spears or call guys or get knocked up without having gotten married first or post their own s*x tapes on YouTube when from his frame of reference those activities would only be acceptable of prostitutes?

Yes people do change and develop. But you have no more right demanding that the elderly change their beliefs and values than they do to expect you to change yours. However, you do owe them the respect that they deserve. Because of their sacrifices, through wartime and peace, through civil rights battles, and voting struggles, through racism, sexism, and now ageism, they do have a wisdom that comes from years of experience and they do deserve respect.

With any luck, in your future you will get to an age where people will wonder if you are just rude or a little hard of hearing.

Answer 5

You need to approach them with respect. Once you get to know them (or even simply have an encounter with them), then you can choose whether or not they deserve to continue to receive your respect. Getting older does not mean you no longer have to be courteous to others.

That being said, are you sure they are being rude and inconsiderate, or are they just not behaving in the manner in which your friends behave? They may have a valid reason for behavior that you think is rude.

I wish you had included an example of a situation.

.

Answer 6

Jayman, your theory is full of c**p. It's about just being nice to each other and using courtesy.

I agree with the asker. In my experience, elderly people have a sense of entitlement to a point they think they can say what ever they want to. They hold the rest of us up because they're slow and they don't think that someone might be waiting behind them.

The elderly are not the cute little old lady or man you think they are. They are demanding, complainers, and think every young 'whippersnapper' is going to h**l and taking the world with them.

And they always want c**p for free.

I won't even go into why they SHOULD NOT be behind the wheel of a CAR.

Answer 7

there are ways to speak your mind and still show respect at the same time.

Answer 8

Don't take on their junk. Smile, respect and re direct if its not appropriate.

Answer 9

Look deep down inside of yourself. Why is it you feel this way? Reality is, it has nothing to do with age. It has nothing to do with race, creed, color or religion. It has something to do with your own insecurities. We demand respect. We demand more of what life has to offer. We become locked in our own prison of 'self bondage'. If only the world would behave then everything would be alright. We become like the rich Miami businessman, basking in the sun on the beach complaining about life. Do not ask why elders are rude. Ask why it effects you so negatively. Selfless is a far better mind to exist in than selfish.