Manchester United hard man http://www.senore.com/Football-soccer/Nemanja-Vidic-c27550 to star in Hitman 2
This just came in. Manchester United’s stalwart defender, Nemanja Vidic is all set to appear in the upcoming Hollywood action flick, Hitman 2. According to our sources, Vidic will take the lead role of Agent 47 from Timothy Olyphant.
The film will be directed by renowned Hollywood director, Christopher Nolan. The plot of the latest flick goes like this: A Russian deep sea diver, http://www.senore.com/Football-soccer/Yuri-Zhirkov-c37683 steals an ancient trophy from an English cult, The Red Devils. Agent 47, a trusted Serbian hit
man – he moved to England hoping to avoid the frost of http://www.senore.com/Football-soccer/Serbia-c3002, only to find out that he doesn’t like the rainy England either - is assigned with the task of salvaging the trophy.
The flick starts with the following scene: Zhirkov is pointing a gun towards Agent 47. The two men are on a boat that has the words ‘Vodka and Gas’ engraved on the deck. A47 sees the words ‘Toy contains small balls, not for children under 8 yrs’ encrypted
on the side of the plastic gun. Upon reading the words, the hitman runs a hand through his baldness with a grin on his face. Needless to say, Zhirkov takes a dive. The Russian spy took to the safety of the ocean. His departing words, ‘Thiz iz not over’ echo
as the first scene dwindles into a black screen.
The story writer is apparently not feeling well, and the story is yet to be completed, but the director, pumped by Jose Mourinho’s optimism is adamant the movie will be an Oscar winner.
Jose Mourinho, when asked about the movie and the incomplete story line, said, “I am the special one”. We are still trying to make sense of that comment, so please bear with us. On the other hand, Arsene Wenger believes Nolan should cast youngsters in the
movie, “by the time the shooting finishes, the kids will have matured. It’s only logical. I’m a genius. Can I direct the movie?”
Mr. Wenger was then told that the investors wanted the movie to be out in Cinema this year, not in 2017. Arsene Wenger then went on to blame the Old Trafford pitch for not getting the directorial role.
Speculations also suggest that AC Milan battle machine, http://www.senore.com/Football-soccer/Peter-Crouch-c29741 will not appear in the film as he is too tall
to fit in the frame.
Fun Facts: Real Madrid ace, http://www.senore.com/Football-soccer/Cristiano-Ronaldo-c9629 was offered the role of the Russian diver, but CR7 took offence to the offer. Reports suggest that the Portuguese will be offered the tailor made role of a metro sexual priest.
Since http://www.senore.com/Football-soccer/Lionel-Messi-c22296 isn’t good enough to be playing for Stoke City even, he wasn’t offered a role in the film. Nolan’s assistant director, Andy Grey, laughed off little Lionel’s exclusion from the film, tagging the player ‘too short and lacking in marketing
value’.
US Palermo president, Mauro Zamparini was given the task of producing the film but he ended up firing every one present on the set. Zamparini was duly given a business class ticket and escorted back to Sicily.
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