Many modern men are now more feminine in thinking and acting towards women, are they an attractive mate?

Question

I find a lot of young men are really unsure of themselves!

Some guys are constantly seeking guidance on how to act towards Modern women, in an attempt to not get it wrong, the ones that work in offices in the city tend to agonise more

I’ve also come across guys that have done everything that women have told them, short of wearing panties (they may do I don’t know) and still get left dead in the water. Lol

All of these are 'ONLY' my opinions, my female friends often make the same comments on this subject..

I’m seeking your opinions..

Are they Hero’s or Zero’s?

Answer 1

A timid man is never s**y. Cute maybe. Confidence is key, arrogance is a further turn off.

Answer 2

Obviously i respect women, as long as they remain in the kitchen and my tea is waiting for me when i return home from work

Answer 3

Feminism was spearheaded by women who don't like men (see link at bottom) so it was natural that they encouraged all women to sneer at men. Men have reacted by trying to please women by becoming what women had been saying they wanted - men who were less aggressive, more caring, sensitive etc.  Of course most women don't find the spineless men that feminism has created in the least attractive, but of course the feminists don't care - spineless men are easier for them to manipulate.

Dhaliwal Nirpal wrote and article a couple of years ago on this topic. It got a lot of criticism, but a lot of people think it makes a lot of sense:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/articl...

Edit

"a lot of people think it makes a lot of sense".

Answer 4

Women want, what they want.  Most women have no idea what they want.  Most women equate a mans confidence to his ability to attract other women (isn't that the same definition as a player).  Most women claim to want good men when they really want the same players that every other woman wants.  The good guy is left wearing pink shirts and too much cologne to try get attention.  It is a sad mess of affairs.  Women really don't want "good men" until it is to late (they have a few kids, are over 40, and have lost their appeal).  The good guy is a "nerd" until he works hard gets a BMW and a nice home.  Then he starts to look kinda good "confidence is optional" when the guy earn six figures.

Answer 5

Didn't realize that all the Brits had surrendered their bollocks. Maybe I'll take a little trip across the pond and do a little hunting. If what you say is true it should be a target rich environment. And if it isn't, I'm not worried. Chatting up broads is chatting up broads.

As an American I take great pride in my arrogance and machismo.

Answer 6

My dear .... Be an angel, iron Cads shirts and make a cup of tea...

Answer 7

i love men that are a little feminine but not g*y !!!

Answer 8

2 days' men NEED 2 B feminized 4 their own good ! And yes, they should now wear the panties. As much as they whine, they REALLY luv it. & if not they will learn to. They should also make the coffee in the morning & serve U !

Answer 9

I think it is going to get worse.

For change begets change.

Men have welcomed some change, some change was understood and accepted - the rest was forced.

Force meets resistance, and to keep things in state where they dont natrually rest takes force to keep it there. So that must increase to maintain and keep the drive going.

The tide will turn. Im just not sure it will be pretty. People can get pretty resistant to change.

May we live in interesting times.

Answer 10

There's a fine line between being cautious and being unsure of who you are.

It also depends on the environment involved in each situation. For instance, in a coed work environment, everyone needs to be careful these days of what they say and do, I seen people of both genders get into trouble for sexual harassment when they weren't harassing anyone, but simply having fun with co workers, it only takes one person to get offended these days.

As for a person personal and private life, some people are more open than others, and actually feel secure and comfortable enough to seek the advice of women, which in some cases is better than seeking advice from another man.

But when a person gets to the point of always feeling sorry for themselves, and not taking any good advice given to him, but constantly always coming to people about the same issues over and over again, than there's something wrong with that individual!

As for the arrogant b******s, yeah, someone needs to give people like that a good *** kicking to chop them down a bit, and teach them to be humble.

Answer 11

Talk to any male (and no small number of female)teachers with the courage to speak of things as they are , and you will find claims that boys are feinised right from the start of school.  Male atributes are largely crushed or marginalised, and the system in the wst distinctly favours girls.  Girls are taught to be whatever they want to be, often with a push to eshew traditional roles that girls enter into, whereas boys are told to keep quiet and stand aside for thier female peers.

Part of the problem arising from this is a sense in western society that masculinity should not be defined by men, but needs to be policed, guided, re-structured to appeal to feminism.  such moves by men in the past to "put women in their place" have rightly been criticised and corrected.  Lets us not do that same thing to men.

The emasculation of men, as doodlebug points out, was an aim of feminism: equality was to be gained not just through promoting the "equalness" (sorry for the poor grammar) of women, but also by defining masculinity as an issue to solve.  many young men today are worried that male behaviours can lead not only to negative comment from women, but also to legal sanction for anything extending from discrimination to spurious abuse claims ("eye-rape" springs to mind) and plain unpleasantness when it vcomes to showing old fashioned manners.

These emasculated men, as you note, are then considered weak and effeminate for not being man enough when it suits a woman for him to be so.

Sorry ladies, if you seek to engineer men as SNAGs) (Sensitive New Age Guys) then they cannot be "classical real men" on demand.

I quickly learned, through good associations in school and so on that masculinity is right, correct, wholesome, normal and complimentary to feminine behaviours in a good relationship.  Being a bloke is not a problem to be fixed, it is not simplistic, obsessed with s*x and food and monosyllabic communication, and nor are we incapable of emotion.

I have found that "metro-sexuality" is a cop-out, an attempt to re-make men into an apalling male/female hybrid of sorts, and hey, if it works for some guys then fine.  The women I know that I am every bit as house-trained, communicative, well-groomed and hygenic as them without putting on feminine airs.  I encourage all boys I teach to be the same and will not tolerate girls or other teachers trying to feminise boys.

Answer 12

Unfortunately most guys hear stuff like

1)I want a guy who shows his feeling then if he does cry all the time about anything they leave

2) If a guy opens a car door for a lady on a date some women say thank you and some women bite their head off saying just because they are female they arent weak and can open their own door

3) Heres a good quote i heard from a guy who studied it

He said If a women was involved in a car crash they dont want a guy who will come up to the window and say "yes i too feel your pain you are feeling", most women want a guy who will rip the door off and carry the women to safety

Unfortunately most guys are choosing to be that first guy cos they think that is what a women wants

Answer 13

It's sad when men are "unsure" of themselves acting like men. Really, what does that mean? Acting like a man? If he's born a man he is taught from day one to be male, follow his dad or male role model. If he has a "masculine" personality he will grow up and be masculine.

If however, he has doubts and feels like he was born with a "feminine" personality then he may grow up with a sensitive side, and expressive side of his feelings.

Nevertheless, I don't believe this is true in all cases. Myself, I was born with a masculine personality, played contact sports, coached team sports, married twice, rock climb, weight train and yet now I am a feminist male. Yes, I call myself a "feminist male" because I believe in equality for both genders, I am a activist for women's rights and belong to many women's organizations.

Getting back to the question, I think all men have some kind of sensitive side of their personality, a side that can show feelings and emotions, it's just some men are taught from an early age to "be tough" ":only babies cry" "don't act like a sissy." Men fear humiliation and embarrassment mostly from the women they are close to. The men who are not afraid to show their "emotional side" are ridiculed and punished, why is this? Why not take these men aside and relate to them, talk to them, ask them why do they have to do whatever women want them to do? That's just a low self esteem and it needs to be improved for the better.

I don't think it has to do with anything about "feminization" of boys at school. Either your born with it or your not. Your personality will come out sooner or later. Hero's or Zeros'? it's up to the woman in their lives, if they love their guys they will either help them or leave them.

Answer 14

Modern men are tos*ers.

Men should drink beer, be able to maintain a car, do D.I.Y and watch sport (figure skating doesn't count).

How would you feel if a man took longer to get ready than yourself, used more products and started getting manicures.

Men should be men, women should be women, if we mess around with this then problems will develop.

Answer 15

According to the Bible in the later days of this planet's existence "love will be hard to find" something like that. It is hard for everyone to find love, friendship, significant others these days it's the way it is.It has nothing to do with who you are. Our society is called the "lonely society" after all.  Pretty sure a lot of non feminine thinking men are also lonely.

Answer 16

Wow Doodle, I've said many times that I am not a feminist and I have also stated that I respect your opinions a lot but seriously, that article you just posted made me rethink my stance on feminism, and your opinions. Wow.

On to the question..

I have met all types, some are unsure of themselves with reason and feel like they need to kiss a** in order to get anywhere, some aren't. When you meet someone today, dating isn't the only thing your thinking about anymore, a whole new wave of "game" has come around, which is something that not everyone knows how to play. Sadly games should not exist, but they do, and you never know what someones motives are. I have found myself in situations where I am trying to convince someone that I am not out for this, or that. A date simply isn't a date anymore.

Edit**

Sam, I know right?  Thank God that none of the men I have been with were ever like that. Give, take, respect and love. You can have different opinions. That guy showed NO respect for his wife. If that is what "traditional" men are fighting for then they can kiss my a$$. However I would consider it more of being a jerk than traditional.

Edit**

Oh Doodle. A**hole was divorced and is deeply sorry for how he treated his EX wife.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/articl...

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/articl...

Answer 17

I think that men have always been confused by women and tried to understand and accomodate women for a long time.  Times have changed, but women were never easy to understand.  Since womens' feelings can be hurt very easily, it makes sense that a man would do his best to be considerate and sensitive to feelings if he ever wants to have a woman.

Women do want men to have some individual interests of their own.  Men can try to accomodate women and still keep their comic books (figuratively speaking).  I don't think that men trying to accomodate women makes them feminine.  If you're talking metrosexuals, no, they don't attract me at all.

Answer 18

The men I know are all pretty confident in themselves and don't need to be 'macho' to prove it.

Doodlebug - that article is hilarious. The guy even cheats on his wife - nice. Were you deliberately trying to find an article that makes 'traditional' men look bad?

Eoghan - sorry, it wasn't deliberate and I get your point :-)

Answer 19

I think the problem in they are trying to act in a certain way. They should just be themselves!

Answer 20

I prefer a guy who wears panties and doesn't worry about it to one who's constantly trying to prove how masculine he is.

Answer 21

Young men needs rules to all of this, so this is for you guy's. OK!!

MEN need to learn to be a true player of his own games, and don't play her game,

-Don't get married, know what you need and want, be sure, don't just go along with what she says and want

-KNOW what your needs are, and go get it, its your right as a man

-When you meet a girl, don't stay over at her place, EVER. And don’t visit there often

Always keep friends with all of your females, don’t give up any, but don’t be sneaky

- At the beginning of any relationship make sure that she sees that - Weekend’s you always spend with your family, you can take her with you, but she must never stay (This is so SHE can't stay over at yours, till you are ready with that, see)

You take her home, and return, don’t do back to your home yet

-Always go to clubs etc from there, not your own home, make it become habit with her

-Insure you never get her pregnant, until you are ready. be sure it's what YOU want. YOU not her

Then try to adopt!! From a third world country if necessary..

If you have to father a child it has to be on your term, remember men cannot have children, you have little or no right to that child, what you perceive that 'you have' can be removed from you ANYTIME. Don't be a looser, be a MAN

-Remember there are always millions of women for you all over the world for s*x, don’t get caught up in your 5hit

-Don’t get involved in any relationship to get s*x, this is MUCH, MUCH more stupid than paying for it. much

It’s not worth it!!

-Don’t spend time pondering what they want, that is their worry

-Never say or think the word compromise ‘there is no such thing’, (if she says that she is compromising on something when things go wrong, it is the leverage used against you) people don’t compromise feelings etc

-Don’t try to be reasonable, to do this is always doing what someone else want, DON’T

Be a man!!

Take what you need, you are male, let them do their thing, if they mess with your thing tell them to go, and NOW!!

Answer 22

OK, I'm lost.  Men are thinking and acting more feminine?  What do you mean by that?  What is it to act feminine besides from exhibiting characteristics that could be described as "homosexual"?  Most traits that are considered to be feminine are actually, more broadly, human traits only exaggerated in women because of hormonal differences; but it is entirely sexist to restrict them to being just female traits.

Answer 23

I wouldn't call their thinking/behavior "feminine," if only because I don't like assigning gender roles to thought. I think that many modern men are starting to feel less pressure to conform to society's concept of what a man should be. That's a good thing.

It's also good for men to be trying to treat women the way they want to be treated. But if they're being bullied/pushed around, that's a bad thing.

Answer 24

The problem lies in the fact that they are starting the emasculation at a very young age by promoting and encouraging the use of drugs to subdue the  young male population.

Also take into consideration that the classroom setting itself is geared towards more feminine tendencies.  While most young girls are able to, and even thrive, in more inactive settings,  a boys learning curve goes down in proportion to the time they are made to be inactive.  Male tendencies are being crushed and subdued to accommodate the female population.   The much lamented phrase "Boys will be boys" is being replaced with the horrifying counterpart, "Boys will be girls".

Now, adult males are equally under attack.  They must walk on eggshells so as not to offend the liberal feminists and their way of thinking.  I can't tell you how many times I have had a man make a simple statement and then anxiously make an apology for an offense that wasn't even committed.   They are forced to conform with a society that not only has no patience for, but indeed hates, any masculine quality.

While I find the men who acquiesce to the absurd demands made on them by society to be unattractive on a physical and emotional level, I can't blame them for the psychological castration that they have suffered.  They are unsure of what is expected of them.

In answer to your question....They are Zero's who once held the potential to be Hero's.  It's quite heartbreaking isn't it?