Marriage - House - Babies - What to do?

Question

Confusion.... marriage.....babies.....job......etc etc?

Is it normal to feel confused about life?

What i mean is that i have so many things that i want to do, but they all clash with each other, how do i go about knowing what i want and just going for it? Here's some of my predicaments:

Im engaged to get married 10th April 2010 and plan to do it the right way - marriage - House - Babies but we want children in the next year.

I am confused as to whether i should go for my degree and become a teacher or to set up my own business which has been on the cards for the last two years.

We both work full time and we wouldnt be able to afford for me to be a stay at home mum so is teaching right for me, or running my business from home where i can be with my child full time and not have to pay child care?

We are saving money at the moment as we are living with parents but want to move out to start a family but we cannot buy a house as we both have bad credit, and wont pay high interest rates on a mortgage. And we cannot stay with his parents if we have a child as there is no room. and they are looking to sell in the next year.

We do have money saved in the bank so we could move out tomorrow if we wanted to and we could have a baby, i could bring my wedding forward and disapoint a few people and 'do it the right way' marriage then baby, and then we could rent, then buy in 6 years when we have chance to build a good credit file. But then what do i do about uni or my own business.

Its just one big predicament. Ultimately i want the house marriage and children, but i dont want my children to want for anything and thats why i wanted a career in teaching, but that is inpractical as we could not afford to have children until i'm qualified hence the reason for a home run business as i wouldnt have to wait four years.

Has anybody got any ideas, or been in this situation and managed to sort themselves out, if so what did you do?

I am a very analytical person and a perfectionist and i like things planned, i think thats why im asking, should i just forget about planning it all and go woth the flow, i really dont know aaaahhhh, help x

Answer 1

Life isn't always perfect.  I just thought I ought to warn you.

Answer 2

Life takes some awkward turns and difficult choices.  Doing your own business is one of the best things you can do but remember 90% of businesses fail so be prepared mentally and financially.  However staying at university and getting your qualifications is also a good choice.  You can do both and it may just take a little bit more time.

Most important thing is making sure you are financially solid, and happy!

Good luck!

Answer 3

having children is one of the hardest thngs you will ever go through. If you start ttc now then you are asking for trouble.

It will be near on impossible to just 'start your own buisness' whilst your exspecting or when you have a newborn or toddler running round.

i would really first, get your own place, then get married then have children. Honeslty please trust me, i wish i had of done things in the right order,(our daughter was unplanned)

If you do things 'correctly' then you will enjoy being a parent SOOOO much more.

Answer 4

First of all, excuse my english, I'm french and my english lessons are far away.

I agree with brunette. If you decide to have children, you won't have time enough to do other things.

I think teacher is a good job if you want to have children. My wife is a teacher and even if we still have no child, we know that she will have time enough to take care of them.

I think you should marry before having a child. that's what we have done with my wife, we got married last year and now we'll try to have a baby. We both had a job before getting married so we could spend enough money for the D day.

few months ago, we have bought a house with 3 bedrooms to be able to have enough space to have a baby.

I don't know if this is an exemple, but we thought that it was the right things to do when we have doine them. We also like things planned...

Love