Marriage and abortion?

Question

I'm married for 2 months now.

And I did tell my husband that i wanted to wait to have a baby with him.

No, I'm not on birth controll and we didn't use condoms but he didn't come in me and I didn't get pregnant. Its not possible to get pregnant from precum. like a 10% chance 1 out of 400 peaople. I'm sure.

well, he left for basic training about 13 days go. weeks before that, we were doing it.( and months ago he said his goal was to get me pregnant when he knew i was against it until i was ready for it) right before he came, he grabed my arms and held them down over my head. he pushed himself down on me so i would've push him offff, i said no don't do it and he did it anyway.....I'm not ready for thisa and he is being selfish and I'm thinking about getting an abortion. is it right? if i do this, how do you think he'llll take this? I love him I do but its to earlyand he knew i wasn't ready. I'm serious about this. scared but serious. I am gonna write to him and exlain to him. the thing is we did talk about this and he didn't respect me either way. I think he is scared that i might leave or cheat on him while he is away. but that is not why he should want a child...

I want on a baby but only when we're both ready and excited for it.

we're 19 and he already has a 3 year old daughterwith his ex gf.

advice please?...

I need some serious positive answers. not nasty ones...

Answer 1

use a condom... abortion is for unmarried people, who got pregnant on accident or people who were raped, I'd divorce u...

Answer 2

u say u love him but ur willing to kill his child?  

Answer 3

That's essentially rape.  Abortion is wrong, in ANY case, as it is a living baby, but I would leave a guy who did that to me.  Just saying.

Answer 4

First off an abortion is not the answer. If he doesn't consider your feelings about having a child right now then you should consider leaving him.

Answer 5

Well theres a chance you could be pregnant, you need to take a test when you can, but not too soon or it may not show, you should talk to your husband about what to do if you are and explain to him that you aren't ready, but you never know like some people said on here when that baby starts kicking you it's the best feeling in the world, you and that baby share a bond, and no one can touch that.  Explain to your husband what he did was wrong and you don't want it to happen again because you want children when your both ready and he needs to respect your needs and wants.  If you decide on the option of abortion then you need to tell your husband how you feel because if he would ever find out about it he would resent you, but not only that in the long run it could hurt you more than help you, because you'll think about it ALOT.  Good luck, I hope everything works out=)

Answer 6

Are you just pulling statistics out of your *** about precum?  You can get pregnant off it just as easily as if they did *** in you!

Answer 7

Are you for sure pregnant? If so does he know? If he doesnt know than get the abortion! What he did was SO WRONG!  If your not ready for a baby than I would say get it done as soon as possible! The medication abortion is the  best way to go! You have up till 8 weeks of pregnancy to do this! I had one done about a year ago (LONG STORY) Good luck I wish I had some better advice to give but I totally understand what your feeling. It will be ok!! :)  

Answer 8

Its your decision. But a baby is a blessing. You should talk it over with your husband.  

Answer 9

write me for some real advice--no lie I have been there....

#1 you can never trust a man with these things--it's your body--your the one who will end up pregnant not him...and in the end the baby will be your responsibility.

If YOUR not ready then don't do it .

If your gonna tell me your 30+ with no kids and alot of support then I would say go for it--but something tells me this is not the case--so close your ears and listen to yourself....you said you were not ready!

There is NO turning back if you agree to this--and once the baby is born that is that.

If you get the abortion pill NOW--there is no killing involved...there is no heartbeat yet and no brain development....

NEVER have a baby because someone else traps you---if he is capable of this--what else awaits you with this man???

It's the ultimate control button for a man---and you should only agree to do this if he is showing signs of respect and nurturing--which he has miserably failed at if he did this purposely.

Please be careful!!

Answer 10

You are both married people so you have to accept the responsibility. Even if its not something YOU want. Abortion shouldeven be an option for you, its selfish and wrong (sorry for being harsh) You said you would have babies eventually and while its not the right time for you, its not that childs fault. You need to love your little one. Im sorry that this is happening at a time in your life when  your not ready but life is full of unexpected surprises... Congrats! I wish you all the best

Answer 11

Abortion isn't the answer. You'd be killing something that should grow into a baby, and hope to get married one day. Talk to him, and if he loed you, he wouldn't do that. Ask someone close to you about their opinions. Good luck! <33 xox

Answer 12

Well, what he did was wrong. You need to find out for sure if you are pregnant or not. Have you missed a period? It's not my place to say what you should do, but I will say that babies are a gift from God. Also, precum is actually the result of 25% of pregnancies every year. That is a 1 out of 4 chance of becoming pregnant due to precum, or using the one you said a 100 out of 400 people become pregnant due to this method.

Answer 13

This is very scary... It really makes me mad that he thinks he can treat you this way.  No one deserves that.  It sounds more like a situation of rape... The act was not unwanted, but the end result was... It is not his choice to have a child alone, it needs to be the two you together.  You are very young, and being a mother is really hard... I had my daughter when I was almost 22 and it has been very trying.  It sounds to me like you are thinking of everything possible, and considering everything you should.  I know you are married, and marriage is supposed to be for life, but in some cases, it is just not worth the pain and struggle.  You need to decide what is best for you and now your child.  Think about your future and do not consider his feelings.  Most certainly not one of my typical answers regarding marriage and divorce, but you are young and you have your entire life a head of you.  

Answer 14

it wasn't right what he did. he probably wants to make sure that you don't cheat on him while he's gone and figured if you're pregnant you won't cheat on him. anyway, if you get an abortion don't tell him. especially if you have already made your choice and nothing will change your mind. it could devastate him. some things are just better left unsaid. but get on birth control in the future so you are in control of when you get pregnant so this doesn't happen again.

Answer 15

so you are pregnant or are you just waiting to see if you are?  I don't necessarily think abortion is the answer because in my head that's punishing the baby for someone else's mistake or problem but that's your choice.  I honestly think you shouldn't be married to someone who would do that to you, it's abusive and controlling and i'd be afraid of what else he would force you into or do later on if he's starting out like this.  there's no excuse for treating someone that way.

Answer 16

Well I know that he shouldn't have done that to you. But I can Honestly say Don't get an Abortion. You might think its the best thing to do. But it is killing a baby. And down the road you will regret it and it will be very emotionally trying on you. You will never forget about that thing living inside you and you killed it by getting an abortion. If your not ready for a baby put it up for adoption. It is up to you but I think if you get an abortion your husband will probably not be very happy about that. In my honest opinion no abortion is not right!!!

Answer 17

first off hun  you need to no if you are then go from there ,secondly get rid of him someone you love does not hold you down while they do that xx

Answer 18

It isn't the baby's fault that your hubby was a jerk.  Don't get an abortion, you can always let the baby be adopted if your not ready. (When you feeI your baby growing and moving you will get excited and might be more ready than you think!) I would think about your relationship with your husband though, he was unfair to you!  If you choose to stay with him, I would make sure to use protection in the future, so he can't do this to you again.

Answer 19

Sounds like your husband has some serious issues.

You could have gotten  the morning after pill as well but its too late at this point.

You may not be pregnant, the odds are still that your not from just one experience even though it does happen it would have had to have been at the right time of the month ,and even then the odds are against you for getting pregnant so it may very well not be a worry at all.

Talk to your husband let him know what he did wasnt right and it should never happen again. Go on the pill  simple as that, that way you wont get pregnant when you're not ready,

It kind of sounds like our husband is trying to control you by getting you pregnant

Anyway good luck

Answer 20

Dont get a abortion but leave his ***

Answer 21

That qualifies as rape. He obviously doesn't respect you at all, I'm sorry you are stuck married to such an inconsiderate a*****e.  In my opinion, if you bring a child into the world without being fully ready for it and wanting it then it'll do nothing but hurt you, the baby, and your relationship.  He doesn't know you're pregnant yet, so just go get an abortion.  You wouldn't even need to tell him since he doesn't know you're pregnant; if you tell him first he surely will be against it since he wants a kid.

And get on some form of birth control.  You don't have to tell him, and it will give you the power to choose when you want to have a baby.  When you're ready you can just stop taking it and let things happen.  The pill is good but easy for him to find out you're taking it, if you want the best protection get on the depo shot - you only need to take it every 3 months and as long as you get it renewed on time you'll have nothing to worry about.

Good luck to you