Marriage and devorce?

Question

Ok, i really need help with this one. My wife says she is not happy anymore and is tired of the same thing. I have changed a lot to meet her demands but all is still the same. She had the affairs in he past and now she says she just wants to be roomies. WE have to kids and she just wants to be roomies for now until the housing market turns around to sell the home. I think she just wants her cake and eat it too. A husband , provider, family man, but not a lover. She makes a lot more money than i do so i dont think its the money but she can not afford the home without my paycheck also. Sould i just live as room mates and do as i like and date or should i tell her i want out and i want to sell the home and start over. ???? I fill like i am being used so she can have her cake and eat it too. I am free to go out and date, but to live and be roomies with my wife.. ???????????

please any ideas ????

Answer 1

Roomies with your wife. You are kidding. h**l no, I would never go for that. That means she can date and you get to stay home and watch the kids.

Answer 2

Well with time everyone changes and if it's for worse you can decide to go to marriage counseling but if she doesn't want to then just divorce her. My opinion I would not like to be roomies with my husband if this happened at all. I don't want to see other women with him and if I were to be dating I would certainly feel weird if he saw me with another man or if my children saw all of this. She is using you and by the way it sounds, she just got tired of you and wants someone to just have s*x with. Sorry I said it like that but that's how it seem. Hope all turns out for the best of yourself and your children.

Answer 3

She has cheated on you and you are the one that needs to change?  I would not stay with her.  Yes she wants the best of  both worlds.  It takes two in a relationship.  Only one working on it does not change things

Linda

Answer 4

I know someone who went thru this exact same situation.  His wife just got up one day and says I love you but i'm not in love with you, i wanna move out.  they stayed as roommates for 1 1/2 yrs.  she slept in guest room.  

maybe she wants to stay roomies right now for the children.  you guys need to sit down and talk about how this will affect them.  sounds like she is being a bit selfish.  and if u r not happy then you gotta make some moves.  who's calling the shots here?  doesn't sound like you buddy!

Answer 5

Do you want your kids to be under the impression that it's normal for parents to live as roommates and date other people?  Don't think for a second that they won't catch on.  If you guys are okay with that then go for it.  Otherwise, you should sever the ties and live separately.

Answer 6

You should learn to spell.  If you can't even spell divorce then maybe you should.....never mind, it's not worth the effort.

Answer 7

I think you are right.  I think you should divorce her.  Besides I think getting a divorce would be a lot less traumatic and confusing to your children as opposed to living together and dating others.

Answer 8

Since she is sleeping separately, charge her with abandoning the bedroom, denying you sexual relations and love making, If she suddenly wants balk in,. make sure you lock the bedroom Io she can't come in.,It would be can celling the divorce if you have s*x again even once. She alsop could be seeing someone NOW and USN;t telling you. Most likely the scenario.

The divorce will ge granted. in your favor.

Ask the judge for part of her annual salary to equalize the fact she earns more and that your lifestyle will be more greatly compromised with  your salary alone than if you took 1./2 of the combined salary. It is equalizing and supplemental spousal maintenance.

Also charge her with hurting you emotionally beyond repair. and that she had cheated in the past, and thous now devastates you.

Immediately, today, see a great divorce acronym, and ask that he serve her immediately. You mus tn give exact times, dat4res of past cheating, other nasty things she's done and said, and this walking out on her duties ans a wife, and that hers cheating and hurtful ways are now irreparable.

Start to see a therapist this week so you can show via therapy sessions the pain she's caused you. It will be entered in the court records. Make sure you let them know at therapy how much pain you are in.

If she says you two should do something her way, just calmly say you will think about it and discuss it with your lawyer WHO will speak to her lawyer, and you are not negotiating medium or anything without thinking about it and talking to your lawyer. Make sure you read every word in the final divorce decree that it matches what you agreed on. Lawyers tend to put in small things which change the meaning.

Better you lose now in the sale of your house, which you must insist on, than stretching out the misery, because that would further hurt you emotionally. Do not tell this to your wife...Also, no dating till the divorce is signed BY THE JUDGE< 40 days or so after all terms are agreed on and put into writing and both of you have signed. Do not have a private life except to work out, attned meetings of other divorced and separateed peop[le, taking a class, bowling in a league, attedning a co0ncert or lecture, going to therpy,,,.

You wiull need Rebuilidng. In fact, read the book by the same title, and read  Creative Divorce, and the Divorce Handbook.

Make suire if she has had a better pension plan  than you, 401Ks, profit sharing, bonuses, Keough, etc, that it is a marital asset which must be equally divoirded. In other words, if she has 3 cars and you one, the value of the cars is based on what they are worth all together the day she is served by a process server. Just becuase something is in her name, it doesn;t mean she owns all of it.

Make sure that includes stock, money nmarkets, time sharing.

Read: Don't Say Yes When You Want To Say No

Absolutely make sure you reamin calm no matter how absolutely nuts she gets, becuase she surelyuwill try to verbally destry you. She's already dine it 19,0000- times, so it is not possilbe to destroly you any more.

She will do a burn, poison the kids against you, etc. it;s all part pof dirovrce....of course, unless you are the one the kids want for the one who gets custody, Then she will have to pay child support. Also, if she had a health plan and you didn;t, she has to pay for yours after divorce.

Get tough as nails, something she does not know about you. She is your enemy, even if you doin;t know it yet. She will turn on your becuase she cannot control her emotions and needs you to blame for her craziness. If she decided to get it togehter, DO NOT take her back. Dop0 not go into therapy with her. She has long gone over the line~!!!!The leopard does not change the color of its spots. She'll cheat again, later....

I've been through it all. Get rid of her. You'll eventually grow as a person and wnat nothing  more out of that creep.

Answer 9

Sounds like my wife. If she had her affairs then it sounds like to me that she is getting ready to do her best to get you to have one so she can scream and pout about it in court and make this your fault. She is controlling you through your emotions as my wife does me. She's using finance's and your children knowing you won't leave. "F" her!!!!! She knows she might not be able to keep the house without you, so sell it and take your loose with this weak market we are in. Neither of you will make out financially but your sanity will be a lot richer than hers. If you leave you will be paying not only child support, you will also be paying alimony as well. If you get her to file and she is able then you will be paying only child support which she knows is not enough to keep the house. As a matter of fact, pull off some petty emotional abuse claim and scream in court she has had many relationships out side of the marriage and take the children yourself. There are more fathers everyday walking out of divorce court and getting child support than you think. The courts are catching onto this financial game women have been playing for emotional revenge and using the kids to get away with it. Do the right thing and fight for your kids and leave, what does she have but a past of multiple "friends" let's say that could occupy her time so your kids don't turn into another mommy like the "B" you married. Try a GPS on the car, that will tell you everything you'll need to know, just one little fling while the kids are alone and you have won custody because she put her bush before the childrens safety, and so far she is guilty, and your paying for it by staying with her. Need any help email me and I'll walk you through this.

Answer 10

you need to put the house up for sale living with each other wont work especially if  you guys plan on dating and meeting new people and not to mention what kind of example are you setting for your children bye living like that.

I'm sorry to hear she cheated on you and at least you can go out of this marriage knowing you tryed.

GOOD LUCK!

Answer 11

You need to be there for your kids but for your wife to ask a divorce then suggest being room mates is ridiculous.  No.  She should either divorce and live separate from you or she should stay and work it out.  There's no in between.  

Answer 12

I think that your wife has grown mentally while you had remained the same over the years. She is looking for a man she can respect and adore but you no longer fit into her league. I think that she wants to expand and you are on her way. Trying to keep her will destroy you mentally and physically and she will resort to do things to make you understand that you and your services are no longer needed and/o appreciated. Make time your allie and secretly find yourself a woman who would want you for who you are. You can think that you meet all her demands and yet more will be asked from you because she does not want or need you any longer.